[180981]

Hi All,

I am new to this forum and kind of just wanted to share my story to see if anyone relates or has words of advice, I do not plan on posting on here often as I do want to get out of this. Currently I am experiencing a SEVERE dpdr episode, since about November 15th when I had an intense panic attack after multiple high-intensity stressors in my life, as well as watching a little too much scary tv lol. In the beginning I had felt completely depersonalized, but continued on with my life as I have had a brief episode of this when I was younger, but I got out of that without even really knowing how I did? However, I feel like im in so deep this time that. I feel as if I am not here at all whatsoever, like I am just a floating thought bubble with zero connection to any type of physical self. I can see myself but do not recognize that this body or that face was ever me, at first it was so terrifying and now I feel like I have even dissociated from that and feel like I am just not here at all. Additionally, I think about wanting to feel real again, but then the thought of existing scares me as well? I dont know if this is a form of somatic or hyperawareness ocd which could be likely. I just want to feel human again, but cant even grasp how that felt or what that means, I am currently in a graduate program at my university and am scared of losing my entire future because of how unreal everything feels. Even people too - its like I never met a person before and cant understand how they move around, exist, etc. and aren't just hollow. I have learned how to sleep during this but eating itself scares me, looking for some validation and inspiration if anyone could provide it, and also to confirm if this is actually just a common case of dp? It is petrifying to say the least, I pray that I can get to the other side of this and live the one life I was given to live.

 

[Aridity]

Just a severe case, not uncommon or anything else. Take care

 

[coolwhip27]

When you described that feeling of not knowing how to be human anymore, nothing feels natural or real, it feels like you have zero experience of life- I’m kinda so used to this feeling its become the norm. No it’s not fun especially when you’re dealing with people first hand. For me I think it happens because of how stressful everything in life is, but I really don’t know. It’s like my brain is so used to screaming and being in pain it’s just kinda numb to it now. That sounds morbid but it’s true

 

[Stayinthemoment]

This is something my wife always tells me that may help you. DP/DR is like a light switch, you either have symptoms or you don’t (it’s either on or off) There’s not a hole that you go deeper down ect. Once you realize this, it will get a little better. On top of this, once you start eliminating some of the stress, the symptoms will lessen.

 

[coolwhip27]

This is something my wife always tells me that may help you. DP/DR is like a light switch, you either have symptoms or you don’t (it’s either on or off) There’s not a hole that you go deeper down ect. Once you realize this, it will get a little better. On top of this, once you start eliminating some of the stress, the symptoms will lessen.

I’ve said this many times, it’s very true. It can’t get any worse than it is your already experiencing, it’s just that thinking it can makes it cycle

 

[NoDevils]

Some strengths are that you recognize DP's relationship to stress and anxiety in your case and that your symptoms are capable of fluctuating. That means the severity of what you're experiencing now is likely to lessen eventually. Even if you did stay this way for the rest of your life, you're a smart person and would learn to live with it. So long as you manage your stress and do your work you probably won't be dropped from graduate school.

 

[Diego]

Hi All,

I am new to this forum and kind of just wanted to share my story to see if anyone relates or has words of advice, I do not plan on posting on here often as I do want to get out of this. Currently I am experiencing a SEVERE dpdr episode, since about November 15th when I had an intense panic attack after multiple high-intensity stressors in my life, as well as watching a little too much scary tv lol. In the beginning I had felt completely depersonalized, but continued on with my life as I have had a brief episode of this when I was younger, but I got out of that without even really knowing how I did? However, I feel like im in so deep this time that. I feel as if I am not here at all whatsoever, like I am just a floating thought bubble with zero connection to any type of physical self. I can see myself but do not recognize that this body or that face was ever me, at first it was so terrifying and now I feel like I have even dissociated from that and feel like I am just not here at all. Additionally, I think about wanting to feel real again, but then the thought of existing scares me as well? I dont know if this is a form of somatic or hyperawareness ocd which could be likely. I just want to feel human again, but cant even grasp how that felt or what that means, I am currently in a graduate program at my university and am scared of losing my entire future because of how unreal everything feels. Even people too - its like I never met a person before and cant understand how they move around, exist, etc. and aren't just hollow. I have learned how to sleep during this but eating itself scares me, looking for some validation and inspiration if anyone could provide it, and also to confirm if this is actually just a common case of dp? It is petrifying to say the least, I pray that I can get to the other side of this and live the one life I was given to live.

Bro it sounds like "classic dp/Dr". For me it is like have ears but not be able to hear, have a mind but not be able to think, have a body but not be able to feel it.