The past few days i have been feeling really off. I start our alright in the morning and try to keep pushing through but it isn't working. I have no motivation what so ever. I'm tired of going back and forth from doctors and not having my mindset even shift.
I look back on my life and feel like none of it happened. That I was a completely different person. it is scary. There is no true way to stop it.
My life has got itself stuck in this rut of a routine and I don't know how much i can keep fighting. I don't want to end my life, even though the lil' demon in my head likes to think so. I just want to sleep.
My day dream is to run away to europe, to either the netherlands or norway. I want a cute little cottage house with a beautiful garden and a creek near by, that isnt too far from town.
I guess i am just tired of marinating all my thoughts. I don't know how to shut off the scattered mind set, yet that is the only thing that my brain is actually doing right now.
Thank you for listening(reading). I am new here and will try to keep checking in and hopefully become a part of the community.

h34r: