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I have to/need to do a 1,000 yard, wide-eyed stare when my DP/DR spikes. Anyone else?

581 Views 0 Replies 1 Participant Last post by  sming

Long time sufferer here. In the interests of transparency, I have treatment-resistant depression, anxiety, DP/DR, OCD, chronic pain, and IBS. Fun! /s

When my DP/DR "spikes" (or "triggers"), I have a strong urge to stare wide-eyed into the distance as the tsunami of fear and terror engulfs me.

This urge originated 26 years ago when I was 19, and I used to spend all day obsessively envisioning future encounters with my ex girlfriend, so that I wouldn't feel so hurt is I bumped into her. Before I knew it I couldn't stop and my rampant OCD and burgeoning DP/DR was never diagnosed -_-

So, 26 years later I find myself having the same indescribably horrific experience whenever I have an OCD / DP/DR spike. Sometimes I try to envisage flying through the solar system or swimming with manta rays or scrutinizing a piece of equipment, as a way to make it less disturbing and horrifying. But alas it’s always such a horrible, horrible experience.

1. Does anyone else find this urge to stare wide-eyed into the distance (like a “thousand yard stare")?
2.Anyone know of techniques to make such a symptom less dehumanising and terrifying? Or to make DP/DR itself less terrifying and distressing? I know all about the grounding and mindfulness stuff BTW and use it a lot but it's just not helping much TBH.

I've tried all sorts of treatments. CBT, REBT, ACT, and pretty much every psychotropic under the sun, especially antidepressants. I've even had dTMS, ECT and Ketamine infusions but nothing has significantly or even partially helped.

I think I also just want to know how other people experience DP/DR symptoms and how it manifests for you.

Thanks very much for reading, and I truly wish you fellow sufferers the very best,
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