I have hope.

Hii guys im Sandra and I went through a really bad relationship and suffered anxiety attacks from being anxious to meet this guy while I was already struggling with derealization. I woke up one day and I couldn’t recognize myself or my own name or anything but I just calmed myself down a bit and remembered the voice but I went home to try to fix the depersonalization and it was like my mind closed up on me. I still have it and I feel like it’s getting worse and better at the same time it’s weird.
my parents are putting a lot of pressure on me to move on with life after I told her these symptoms and im just so tired. I feel like everybody hates me and I feel like my family hates me and I just want to recognize them again because even when I hug them or kiss them it’s never enough. I just wish I never did anything bad so I can just be normal again it started at 17 and now im 18 and have been for like six months. This is how I spent my first time being 18. It feels like I’m on the outside of the people just observing them live their life wonderfully and enjoy life. I also can barely eat because food doesn’t taste good and I’m just so sad.