I am tired of knowing what is dp and dr. I am tired to fight with myself. I am tired to cry everyday and remember what it was to feel OK, happy. I am tired of depression. I have too much memories in my head, when I was OK, feeling fine, just sometimes anxious. I don't know what happened at my delivery but each day I wonder why I wasted my life. I am so tired to talk about that, and I really feel like a failure. I only have sad feelings, or I am scared, or I have dissociation.
I am tired that people in Montreal can't see me because they are 6 people who knows what is DP and they speak english. I ask and ask and ask and all I see is people who don't know really my symptoms and I get so frustrated. I feel mentally ill, and I don't see the light. I feel very depressed. I am tired of myself complaining all the time on this board, I know I am fuckin annoying. Other people just go on and talk a little bit, but I always talk about this.
I get so desesperate. My God it's so hard.
I am sorry again, if I talk like that. I need to vent, I don't know where else to vent. Psychologists cost 90 $ each time you see them, and I am not rich, and I can't call enytime, and other stupis crisis lines doesn't know what I have and they tell stupid things. One day someone told me, maybeit was schizophrenia.... it was a volonteer who answered the phone, and didn't had a clue of mental illnesses.
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