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I hate existing

547 Views 1 Reply 1 Participant Last post by  Jix
Does anyone else have this powerful feeling thats like a combination of fear and dread but you cant accually place it? Almost like you cant feel it and yet, everytime you think about how your feeling, its there again? Its a tenacious all consuming feeling. Its kinda that "lost" feeling. I never felt this untill i got dpdr. Alot of the time, i feel so alone in my experiance, i doubt i even have dpdr. I just feel like a nut, just an anomally in the universe.

It also feels like everything will never go back to the way it was. I keep thinking existentially about the "human condition" and why the universe is even here. If its the human condition, then i guess its inevitable that humans just think these things and that theres no way out of it. Ive looked up everything on the damn internet about this stuff and now i wish id never been born or ever existed now. Id probably be crying if i still felt connected to emotions.

Just wtf.
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I wish i could just accept that everything just exists but then i remember how depressed i am and how humans have like no purpose and then i just get sucked into this dark pit and dont see a reason for anything. And then the dpdr gets worse again. Its like its all just some pointless game.
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