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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I had dp/dr from the time I was 16 in 2004 to the time was about 23 in 2012-2013

still have depression and anxiety issues(sometimes)

not on any medication

getting out of dp/dr is almost as weird as getting dp/dr. When you have dp/dr you can't remember what normal feels like and when you get out of dp/dr you can't remember what dp/dr really feels like. It's like waking up from a dream and forgetting the dream

basically i'm gonna keep my answers short shoot me a question
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Congrats. What were the main things u did to recover?
faced my own inner hostage taker (the mind) and it's method of keeping me imprisoned through it's constant use of fear anxiety ocd. Basically I pushed through any obsession any direct fear that my mind had possessed me by. For me it was a number of obsessions and issues that I had pushed back into the closet in my head which were directly affecting me in the present. It's like the attic in your head you have a bunch of stuff in there that you put away but it still comes back to haunt you and the only way you can deal with it is by being a hero by facing your fears you inner demon directly looking straight at them and anything else they throw at you. That's what I believe did it but I cannot be 100 percent sure. There are also other factors like having a strong foundation of self belief rather than belief in the external artificial world. Instead of having a terrible master of a mind I made my mind my servant because it is a wonderful servant once you awaken yourself by breaking down the walls in your head. A lot of it has to do with your environment and how you have been conditioned to be someone you're really not and the more you front the more you're suspended in time. There is no future in a front so you must find the truth inside of yourself and when you find the truth inside yourself then you can find something worth believing in.

I think what it came down to most was that my mind was my own worst enemy and it held me prisoner by making me believe in lies, lies that i did not know were lies until i dug deeper and until had the wisdom to change what i knew. Wisdom is not knowing it is doing a fool knows what he does he still does it the wise have the wisdom to do otherwise. You can't believe the terrorist inside your head it keeps on manipulating once you break one lie it will come with more lies at least for an ocd mind like mine. I believed in absurd fear based rationality which was legitimized with irrational fears. I had to break through the rules of the fear master. I am in control not the manipulative terrorist
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
What caused your DP?
I remember being in a classroom at a new high school i just got into, the teacher had asked me a question and all of a sudden it felt like all the blood from my face drained out and my vision started rapidly zooming in and out in and out very quickly i got dizzy and ran out of the class and everything was dream like then a couple days went by and i felt alright again then i remember being in my backyard and the next thing i know is being in my room with no short term memory I really can't recall what happened before I thought I had brain damage until i discovered this forum in august i2004 I do know i had smoked marijuana occasionally before it happened. I remember having that initial experience then recovering in a few days then the next time it happened it didn't go away for 7 years. i also do know that I had dp/dr episodes after the first time it had chronically happened from panic attacks due to panic attacks when i was in a highly stressed situation with use of marijuana. Something to do with a weakened mental state and a combination of marijuana use with lack of mental self control like being in a flight or fight situation except against nothing externally threatening but rather internally present. Like something terrorizing me from my mind telling me i'm going insane, telling me i'm going to disappear completely or die.
 

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What did you do to recover? Any tips or advice you can offer?
break down your worst fears and face them directly

just remember it's not necessarily about where you are in life right now but rather where you're going to be later down the line and as long your intentions are clear and clean you're going to be in a good place later down the line. So set your compass your heart in a direction that's going to leave you in a better place tomorrow. For that to happen you have to take the first steps towards the best path for you and in order to find the best path for yourself you have to know and love yourself in the first place. So right now is the key for you later down the line but the key doesn't turn on it's own you need to turn the key and open the door out of the prison.
 

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Did you have light sensitivity? Like did the lights at the store trigger attacks because it was so intense it made you feel like a dream? If so, did it go away?
 

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break down your worst fears and face them directly

just remember it's not necessarily about where you are in life right now but rather where you're going to be later down the line and as long your intentions are clear and clean you're going to be in a good place later down the line. So set your compass your heart in a direction that's going to leave you in a better place tomorrow. For that to happen you have to take the first steps towards the best path for you and in order to find the best path for yourself you have to know and love yourself in the first place. So right now is the key for you later down the line but the key doesn't turn on it's own you need to turn the key and open the door out of the prison.
Thank you! I was doing so well then I relapsed ugh. I'm just so worried about losing my job over this stupid condition. It's so frustrating.
 

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Thank you! I was doing so well then I relapsed ugh. I'm just so worried about losing my job over this stupid condition. It's so frustrating.
baby steps can lead to giant leaps forward just remember to stay consistent and know that you will hit bumps in the road but don't try to go back just try to keep moving forward. If you fail forgive yourself and keep moving forward never let yourself feel guilty for failing you can only feel guilty for not trying.

Did you have weird existential thoughts? How did you get them to go away? Do they bother you as much now that you're recovered?
Also, did your perception of time change? Is it back to normal now that you're recovered?
question 1: Absolutely that's all I had was existential thoughts and over analytical thinking

question 2: I naturally wanted to know more and more that was my mind so i would always analyze analyze and analyze until i realized that's all I was doing was analyzing life instead of actually enjoying it doing things that I actually felt like doing and living my life the way I felt like living. I just stopped caring about thinking and analyzing my way through life and decide I wanted to try and live my life rather than think my life. Find things you can stay busy with doing find things that you can be passionate about find anything you can do that will take you away into a positive beneficial rewarding experience. Take risks in life break out from your safety space and do things whether you want to do them by yourself or with others just try to occupy yourself in a way which won't trigger you to go into a self analyzing existential awareness. Listen to good music create good music find something to be happy about even if it's just for a minute a minute you can forget your dp/dr is a minute you can treasure.

question 3 no they don't bother me very much at all these days i don't really look into it more than it needs to be looked into because there is no point it's all just going to lead back to square 1. You can spend a lifetime analyzing the world and it won't be worth a single minute of an actual real life experience.

question 4: Perception of time did change i believe time is relative to change so I think time is always changing with the radically changing days we live in.

question 5: I don't know what normal time is, time for you is not the same time perceived for me

Did you have light sensitivity? Like did the lights at the store trigger attacks because it was so intense it made you feel like a dream? If so, did it go away?
Yes very much so fluorescent lighting had a radical effect on my perception while heavily dp/dr'd it would trigger dp/dr worst make me feel more "twilight zoned" and generally I hated being in a supermarket under fluorescent it's not a very natural light spectrum. As far as now going through supermarkets I don't even notice the lights don't really even pay attention doesn't bother me one bit.
 

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I had dp/dr from the time I was 16 in 2004 to the time was about 23 in 2012-2013

still have depression and anxiety issues(sometimes)

not on any medication

getting out of dp/dr is almost as weird as getting dp/dr. When you have dp/dr you can't remember what normal feels like and when you get out of dp/dr you can't remember what dp/dr really feels like. It's like waking up from a dream and forgetting the dream

basically i'm gonna keep my answers short shoot me a question
Did you take any medicine? Any suppliments?
 

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Did you take any medicine? Any suppliments?
I've tried many medications mostly anti depressants zoloft, prozac,wellbutrin, but after a couple of months i wouldn't feel like my true self when i was on them so i would quit them I think I had the most success on zoloft but like I said it didn't feel like myself. If you need them to function then of course take them but I just don't really feel the need to stay on them for too long because your mind becomes dependent and when you get off them it becomes harder to be happy being yourself and easier to fall into a deeper depresson. I simply deal with the issues that are bothering me rather than taking anti-depressants. I was also on Adderall for a while and it would help very much with all the focus and thinking breaking through the foggy head space that you're in when you're dp/dr'd but that eventually too had it's consequences i would feel weakened flustered short tempered and sexually impotent after taking adderall. So while it had it's benefits it had it's downfalls as well and I couldn't keep riding the roller coaster.

I strictly use supplements now the typical fish oils, melatonin/theanine(before bed) saw palmetto, st johns wort, phenibut is also a good one, tyrosine, d-phenalanynine, cbd oil also helps relieve anxiety. I supplement my serotonin, dopamine and gaba because i believe these all have a direct effect on my well being.

How Does it feel to be recovered? Is it truly as amazing as people describe it??
it's like the opposite of getting dp/dr'd like sort of waking up from a waking dream and I believe it's from connecting to a source which brings you down back to earth. I don't know how to describe it but once you connect to that source you can no longer live in a dp/dr existence because you actualize yourself you realize yourself you personalize yourself you become the opposite of dp/dr'd you become and feel real again. I don't know how to really describe it but you can no longer doubt that you are real or that the world is real because it becomes all too real. Amazing and pretty depressing at the same time though because you don't know how to deal with it, for me at least i was so stuck in dp/dr that it became part of me for that period of time and when I didn't feel it anymore it was like so pointless just left me with a big gap in my life. I couldn't relate to people because they were not aware of what I had experienced on that level and the "normal" world was just not the same as it was before i could no longer pretend to dream it was anything other than what it really was.

I still get depressed and I still feel sadness from picturing how much people are controlled in their daily lives by factors other than themselves. That's what really gets to me that no matter what if you can't decide your fate someone else or something else will for you. That no one can change your life but you and that's a hard thing to accept and commit to because it's a 24/7 job and without passion without true passion and love for what you do in life you will never truly do what you want to do for yourself. You will do it for reasons other than yourself mostly fear, whether it's economic fear, social fear or just fear of the unknown. You have to take a step take a risk in life to get anything out of it you might as well risk something that you can be passionate about in the end. Life keeps moving and it goes fast especially when you arent' dp/dr'd anymore it goes faster than ever because you're no longer stuck going in circles analyzing in your head feeling trapped in the moment so time breezes by a lot quicker.

I had depression/anxiety/ocd before I had dp/dr as well but now days I can control it so much better than I did before dp/dr. If i get a sad thought i can completely overwhelm it on my own, If I get a fear based ocd rationalizing intrusive thought with a ritual i could laugh at how stupid it is, if i get anxiety i can get to the root of it and push on through. As opposed to before it would all completely overwhelm me because I would allow it to weave it's web around me completely now I don't allow it to weave anything before i break it.
 

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How long were you taking CBD oil before you recovered? Did you take it every day? And what mg/% was it? Thanks :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
What do you think is the true cause of DP/Dr? Do you think it's something that science will ever figure out?
I don't think there is one true cause, I think it's a result of multiple factors and the nervous system has different "safety modes" that it falls back on when it goes into a panic mode. I think it's a state of in betweens when you're in a flight or fight state but the perceived threat is not on the outside but rather on the inside. Think back to the historic days of survival where you were surrounded by predators living within the earth's and nature's rules. You had external predators like bears, wolves,lions,tigers or whatever other animals your environment had as well as other people trying to kill you for territory you had a fight or flight system to deal with that you either stood your ground and fought or you took off and ran to a different location.

Except with dp/dr and panic attacks which seem to work in unison with each other the perceived threat is internalized like the threat of dying, threat of going insane, threat of having a heart attack all of these have become internalized threats which feed the panic state and which then confuse the nervous system because you cannot fight or flight your irrational thoughts and fears you're not going to beat them physically and you're not going to run away from them physically. They must be dealt with directly on a psychological level and once they are dealt with to the point that they lose their panic inducing existential effect they no longer have the same result on the nervous system which relieves the symptoms of dissociation because you are now comfortable to be actualized back into "reality" content enough to move on with your life.

Society has built walls around nature through fear but now that fear still exists but it exists on a much more internalized psychological level than any actual physical level. We've conditioned ourselves to have enough time to actually live inside of our heads instead of the actual physical world.
 

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How long were you taking CBD oil before you recovered? Did you take it every day? And what mg/% was it? Thanks :)
I didn't take CBD before I recovered, I first came about CBD last year after I heard it was effective for people looking to quit smoking cigarettes. I took 3 :! ratio cbd cartridge single origin that means all the CBD came from specific strain genetically breed to have a higher CBD to THC ratio. The exact percentage was 14%THC 39% CBD in a 500mg cartridge of C02 cannabis oil. The effect is a slightly psychoactive but not to the point that you're actually "high" it's a much more clear headed non stoned type of effect with a 3:1 ratio it's anxiety reducing and impulse reducing effect good for mental health and overall well being.

It's much more medicinal than recreational like smoking weed is recreational and it has medicinal effects but the medicinal effects are overshadowed by the sheer power of the psychoactive effects. With CBD the medicinal value overshadows the psychoactive effects. I have smoked a strain called AC/DC which is basically all CBD no THC and there is no psychoactive effect whatsoever. You simply cannot get "high" off of it. The CBD on it's own though does not have the synergetic effect that you get from the combination of both CBD and THC. They both work together and the ratio at which they are combined will dictate the desired effect.

I vaped it for months it helped me quit smoking, helped me with sleep, helped me with physical and psychological anxiety and generally helped me feel a sense of well being without feeling the negative draggy burn out effect of marijuana on its own. I would definitely recommend it and I would definitely recommend a single source of origin with as little thc as possible. Higher the cbd ratio to thc the better it would be for those sensitive to marijuana like people on this forum. There are nootropic effects to it i could definitely notice the clearer thinking and physical witdrawals removed from nicotine.
 

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I don't think there is one true cause, I think it's a result of multiple factors and the nervous system has different "safety modes" that it falls back on when it goes into a panic mode. I think it's a state of in betweens when you're in a flight or fight state but the perceived threat is not on the outside but rather on the inside. Think back to the historic days of survival where you were surrounded by predators living within the earth's and nature's rules. You had external predators like bears, wolves,lions,tigers or whatever other animals your environment had as well as other people trying to kill you for territory you had a fight or flight system to deal with that you either stood your ground and fought or you took off and ran to a different location.

Except with dp/dr and panic attacks which seem to work in unison with each other the perceived threat is internalized like the threat of dying, threat of going insane, threat of having a heart attack all of these have become internalized threats which feed the panic state and which then confuse the nervous system because you cannot fight or flight your irrational thoughts and fears you're not going to beat them physically and you're not going to run away from them physically. They must be dealt with directly on a psychological level and once they are dealt with to the point that they lose their panic inducing existential effect they no longer have the same result on the nervous system which relieves the symptoms of dissociation because you are now comfortable to be actualized back into "reality" content enough to move on with your life.

Society has built walls around nature through fear but now that fear still exists but it exists on a much more internalized psychological level than any actual physical level. We've conditioned ourselves to have enough time to actually live inside of our heads instead of the actual physical world.
Thank you so much! This whole thing just has me mentally and physically exhausted.
 
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