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I found the cure! Im 150% recovered

11793 Views 10 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  DarkMatter
I want to share my story with all of you for 2 reasons

1. I want to help you people because I know how nasty this illness is
2. This is largely therapeutic for me too

My DP/DR started after smoking marijuana for the first time but let's rewind 15 years first.
Growing up, my father fell out with his family. Me, my sister, and my parents went our own way and my father took it out on us. He treated me good but he had small episodes where he'd treat us bad. He's still with my mum now and we all still live together but I couldn't control the anxiety as a kid so I started messing around at school. I just wanted to fit in. Id get in trouble, had no friends and then I'd be in trouble with my father. So it was a vicious cycle. I learnt to hide my emotions and keep them locked away forever, I just wanted to be accepted. I went through the ages of 6-19 like this, becoming a master of hiding my emotions and seeking acceptance. Through this time, I had been expelled from school and college and different work places for messing about and I hid it all from my family.
To this day, I still have no friends and all I have is my family and none of us really get on very well anyway.
So seeking some happiness or relief, I conjured up a plan.
I'm an ugly dude, so why don't I earn some more money and get some plastic surgery and find myself a girl.
I couldn't get a job. And all my worries were compounding so I conjured up a plan.
I obtained some weed. And went out
in the snow in the freezing cold at 9am, I smoked it in the garage of our house and got extremely worried about being caught. I walked off the high in the freezing cold with my nose running in the blistering cold.
The next morning, I had symptoms of DPDR.
Over the next few months, some of the symptoms went away but the symptoms that remained were....everyone seemed mechanical. Nothing had purpose. My legs carried me by themselves. And I could feel but not really feel. I started worrying of developing cancers and nasty
And then I lived in fear for the next few months after that and lock myself in my room and play music and dance and it would take the pain away. And I felt real for those brief moments.
Up until a week ago, I did this every day and lived in fear until I decided to try mushrooms after hearing so much about them.
I took 2grams of mushrooms and had the most spiritual trip ever. Looked in the mirror and realised that I was fucking beautiful. That I'm actually handsome and its all in my head. I had the best 6 hours I've ever had with my family and they all knew I was high. And when I woke up the next day I realised all this time that ive been suffering with anxiety. When I climbed out of bed, my feet felt different on the carpet and all the colours in my room seemed more vivid. And then it clicked, my DP is gone. It slowly came back through the day but nowhere near as bad as it was.
And then it dawned on me, what if I have as much of a good trip on weed and feel twice as euphoric as I felt anxious when I had my first experience with weed?
So I went out the next morning in the blistering cold again at 9am again in the same garage again and I smoked twice as much this time and I went back in again to the house this time and my dad was there and I looked right at him and he never suspected anything. I sat down and had the biggest relief ever and my breathing got really heavier and "realer".
Now my DP/DR is 100% gone and so is my anxiety and I went out last weekend and spoke to this EXTREMELY SEXY girl. A 10/10. She's my first ever friend and my first ever potential girlfriend. I've told her everything even though I've only known her a few days and she says I'm so stupid because I'm so sexy. Lol. Its all in the mind and its a lifelong battle I've gone through with myself and I finally won. And you could say I'm not only recovered but the DP/DR helped also revealed my true self to me. I now feel realer than ever and threw my music library away. I won.

So find yourself with the mushrooms. And then consolidate it with weed. I believe that is the cure. But do not attempt the shrooms if you think you can't find yourself as it will make you worse.
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Yes you are 100% right. And the shrooms allowed me to kill my ego for a short while and see the truth
Exactly. DP is a barrier your brain has put up to protect you. That's how we evolved. Like our skin and antibodies are the barriers against microorganisms...our DP/DR is a barrier against anxiety and trauma. But I don't believe curing the underlying problems will cure the DP/DR. I think our nervous system is out of to speak. I believe that if we can reset the chemicals in our brain then we can get rid of DP/DR. And I believe mushrooms are effective. Psilocybin obviously binds to receptors in parts of the brain that are affected by DP/DR and they become flooded with a serotonin-type chemical which induces euphoria and shuts off or excites other parts of the brain. I believe that a good trip on mushrooms will shut down the right parts of the brain that have become overly active because of anxiety. And I believe it excites other parts of the brain that have been overly under active due to DP/DR. I believe that having a bad trip on mushrooms will cause the opposite effect. So tell someone you trust the most that you're going to do this. Tell them everything and tell them why. Find the most comfortable place and take the mushrooms. And enjoy them.
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This is what creates DP. Hiding your emotions means hiding yourself, and we did it for so long that we no longer knew when we lie and when we are being honest to ourselves. In DP you forget what the truth is.
It's a pretty fucked up thing once you realize you've been like that all your life (I'm sure I have been like that for AT LEAST 16 years). I remember that I was playing poker with some friends about 5 years ago or so, and one of them said something in the vain of "you have such potential of becoming a good player because you never show your emotions, hence it's impossible to guess whether you have a great hand or not". Back then I thought that it's actually cool, but the price of not showing emotions is just too great.
Is he trolling or is this serious
When you say your brain can barely handle weed, you may mean you can barely handle the truth when weed calms your mind down and removes your protection mechanisms.

Or, you connected certain feelings of being high to some threat (going crazy, losing myself, etc..).
totally not understanding anything about this post...
Weed isn't for evereyone. I enjoyed mushroom and lsd trips and found them valuable, but found weed to be a disorienting waste of time.
I can see mushrooms providing some kind of 'reset' switch for the brain. I suppose (IF IT WERE LEGAL NO SHROOMS HERE) it's worth a shot.
I don't see how it would provide a 'reset' for all people suffering from DP/DR. If your dissociation is caused by dormant issues that were waiting to be triggered, there's no chemical reaction that is going to miraculously erase it. Experimenting with different drugs (especially when they triggered DP for a lot of people) seems foolhardy and risky.

I would be curious on how long your recovery lasts, no offense. Many people *believe* something has cured them, only to come back in a couple months because they didn't resolve the actual issues. Either way, best of luck.
I don't think drugs reset the brain. But they can provide the insight needed to identify your issues, which can be done sober. Hell, I'm scared shitless of drugs, not for me to try haha.
Drugs can either help you or hurt you depending on your mindset. Hard drugs gave me DP but if I was in the right mindset and didnt have a bad trip it is possible I could have worked through my emotional issues and been cured
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