[Guest]

Hi,

I feel really bas since Paxil withdrawal (but I was feeling bad too on it). I was feeling less dp but the bubble was REAALLY there. And I was still confused, but no panic (physical).

Since I stopped, I feel REALLY sad, deeply sad, I have a lot if dissociation, and I make huge crisis where I feel that I lost my mind. I can cry hours because I feel there is no answer, no cure, and I will never be OK again. I feel more instable than ever. I am more afraid than ever. Even Klono doesn't help much. Just to relax, but then again, I don't know what's wrong with me these times, I am in panic and confusion 24/7.

I really want advice, not necessarily anti-med please!!!!! I am at a point where I feel like hospital would help me. So...

Should I :

1) return to Paxil, upgrade and take anti-psychotics at low doses with it?
2) Continue Anafranil 10 mg since 2 days, but take more Klono if needed (until 1,5 mg) and wait?
3) Anafranil + Anti-psych.?
4)Try like Effexor + Anti-psych.? or + big doses of Klono + wait?
5) just anti-psych?
6)Other like Depakote, Lithium???
7)Other???

Remember : I really cannot cope, I am in a permanent crisis state and I feel more than dead. I feel like the end would be better. I want relief and help and support, I really feel desesparate.

Please, help me. I really feel like my short term memory is gone, completely. It's horrible. And I can't cope!!!!! What happened to me? I can't live like that 25 years. Sorry. I have to make a move.

I am not in a state where vitamins helps. I am in a emergency. I need relief. I write this in utter sadness. PLease help me. It's horrible.

Karine

 

[Guest]

Karine, I know how you feel but you got to keep pushing through. It is awful what you are going through & the trick is that think you will not get better but you will.

Are you doing breathing exercises where you breathe in from your stomach to a count of 1000, 2000, 3000 & out to a flat stomach 4000, 5000, 6000. This is a start to get your breathing back into a normal state it will help anxiety. Are you steering clear of all caffeine & sugar. Chamomile tea helps as well to calm your nerves.

These things are a good natural start, but you have to stick with them. You need to speak to your doctor & see what they suggest med wise. Remember all medication will probably make you feel worse in the beginning & then it kicks in 2 weeks later & gets better from there. I found Luvox worked for me it stopped the never ending questions.

Karine, just pull on your inner strength & talk to as many people as you can about how you feel.

It just takes time Karine, its not easy & most of the time you just feel like you are in hell & then slowly it gets better but you have to just be patient & be kind to yourself.

 

[igidude]

Hi Karine,

I felt exactly the same a couple of months ago after struggling for about a year with full blown D.P. But I just kept filling myself with courage and strenght. And now I feel much better It is posible to get better. What I have learned about this condition is that it feeds on fear you over analize everything and it just scares you to a point that you provoke yourself a panic attack. Just try to think positive thoughts and try to keep yourself busy. Another thing that really helped me was to find myself spiritually I starded praying a lot and it has made a great deal of difference in my life. The Doctors want to make us think that what we have is purely chemicaly related when we also have a soul that needs healing. God never gives you more than you can handle. Believe me theirs people that care and that are going through what your going through and we give each other courage to keep fighting.

 

[Phill]

Karine, I have been where you are now and it was utter hell.
All I could do was stuff myself full of pills and sleep sleep sleep.
Because when i was sleeping was the only time that i felt relief.
And also, out of utter desperation i did what many have done in such
a situation, i found myself spiritually. And began to pray. And like igidude
it made a big difference with me.

And i think it's wise to get on a certain med or meds and stay on them for at least a few weeks. Part of your mental confusion could easily be coming from going on and off different meds. Meds can be really mind altering and confusion is also a side effect of many drugs.

Be completely honest with your doctor/therapist and a short stay in a good hospital could be of benefit to you. When i was at my worst there was no better place for me to be.
Get as much family support as you can. Figures show that people with mental illnesses who have family support have a much greater chance of recovery than those who don't.
And DON'T go trying to end it all. You may well end up 1000 times worse.
There are people here who care. To be victorious you MUST keep on keeping on and in time you will improve. You're also in my prayers.

 

[stickdude]

have you took any anti-psychotics yet? what about the anafranil? just wondering, if you have, how they've made you feel.

 

[Guest]

Hi,

Thanks.

No I haven't took any anti-psychotics yet, that is why I think of them, because nothing helps so far. And Klonopin neither. I tried Paxil, Effexor, Anafranil (some days), Zoloft, Remeron, name it... some, like Effexor and Anafranil, I just took it 1 week maybe, because 1) Effexor was making me feel more lost and confused. But maybe it was just the beggining....

I really need something to help me throught this early stages of AD'S. I am so tired to believe that just Anafranil and Lamictal can help for DP. It gives me no hope.

Also, my short term memory may be brought by Klono, I don't know, that is why I would like to taper a little, but I can't. Again, that is why I seach for something who could help me change meds.

I never tried Zyprexa, Seroquel, Depakote, and maybe those would be the next step.

I probably never felt this worse since 2 years. Very horrible. The more it goes, the most I know it will stay, and the more I depress. It's unbearable.

Now I began with Anafranil, but again I have to make a ECG to see if everything's ok, and I feel very sedated, and very very weird. I am so afraid. Sometimes I say to myself, you should have stayed on Paxil then ADD something. Other times, I know it wasn't the cure, I had trouble to go to the metro and my memory was awful. And Paxil makes me so tired, and doesn't really help depression.

And that is why I wonder about Effexor, who did miracles to some.

Sorry. For my post.

I am

K

 

[Guest]

Sorry. For my post.

Don't be We're all in the same boat

 

[Guest]

Karine,

Even though I probably shouldn't be giving advice (b/c I am, in my mind, 100 worse than you :lol: ,) I think it might be important to step back and look at some patterns that might be happening.

Many people (including myself) on this site tend to have a couple good days, followed by a couple bad days, etc. These days might be weeks, or months, but many people go through a kind of "roller coaster" with their DP/DR. For some the negative times are more extreme...

I'm not going to tell you that meds are wrong, etc. But (as I'm sure you know) meds are not going to solve everything. They can be very useful in reducing symptoms, but they will not take the DP/DR away for someone who has other things going on besides DP/DR.

Ask yourself "Did I ever have any signs of mental stress(depression, anxiety, panic, ocd, irritability, negative thoughts, etc.) before DP/DR?"

"Did certain things in my life contribute to these thoughts and feelings?"

If you answer yes, chances are DP/DR is a symptom of something deeper.

REMEMBER. It is easy to view DP/DR as an illness in itself b/c it is so horrible and overwhelming, but (like Janine says in Unraveling) many times it is a symptom of something else which might not be 1/10th as bad a s the DP/DR.

Because the DP/DR is SO overwhelming, we tend to forget anything which might have led up to it. BUT, what led up to it might be the key to dealing with it..

With that said, I think we can both agree that the majority of us didn't wake up one day in DP land with nothing leading up to it. For some of us it was drugs, extreme anxiety, depression, traumatic events, or thoughts which loomed outside our awareness, etc. Which in turn leads to more fear/anxiety/analyzing, which further fuels DP/DR.

What we need to realize is that we are repeating a bad pattern. We are stuck in a nightmare of DP and keep repeating the same mistakes which keep us the way that we are.

Karine, there is obviously something going on that is keeping you the way you are. The way you feel plays a huge role in how you "feel" daily (i.e you emotional temperature) but, your thoughts and actions play an even bigger role, we might not even realize that.

Again, I am no therapist, and I am so far gone that I shouldn't even be giving advice, but, I think you might want to consider that some powerful fears/thoughts are the source for way you feel. If you don't deal with these fears/negative thoughts, the DP will stay a very long time, especially if we keep re-living bad patterns.

DP is not some monster which attacks us from the outside, it is internal. A percentage of DP might be chemically related, but I think that our thoughts/fears play a huge role in feeding the DP. With that said, you might want to work extra hard on getting to the bottom of the mess DP has created for you.

And remember, DP is not some horrible curse someone has put on us. We create it, and keep it going.

Next time you feel like you want to give up, remember that the key to recovery lies within you, you just need to find it. IT IS much easier to give in to the horrible feelings, I know, I do it 24/7, but if we really want to get better, we need to take full responsibility sooner or later.

And, I am pretty sure that in a couple of days you will post a much happier message.... :wink:

Then, I am going to forward the post you wrote here and remind you about patterns, and that in a few more days you will probably post something negative, then a few days after that something positive, etc... 8)

BEWARE OF BAD PATTERNS!

Best,

Jon

 

[Guest]

Thanks Jon.

I KNOW you're right. My trauma began before delivery. I had Dp at 12, and I was traumatized by this episode. It lasted 1 year. I had also at 18, by pot use and leaving University. Again, I was traumatized (less), and it went away in 1 year.

I always had the fear to become shizophrenic. My aunt is. Because of a bad diagnosis at 12 (the family doctor told that it could have been schizo, but it wasn't because it was just dp), I had a huge fear of schizo. It stayed all my life. I couldn't see the word schizo. I couln't think of my 12 years old episode. The worst is : it was by far less frightening at this stage. I was not DR, maybe a little, more dp.

I know I had fears of meds before delivery, Fear of having pain, having epidural. I know I shut myself in the delivery. I know all that. I know it, but I can't help myself!!!!

Anyway, thanks A LOT for the post. You're really nice. I will think of that.

K

 

[Guest]

Karine,

You're going to make me blush

But seriously, I can relate a ton to the way you feel. I actually think I am worse off (lol)

I know how hard it is when we feel like we can't help ourselves. I feel like that 24/7, like I have no control over the way I feel.

However, we probably have 100% control over the way we feel, just not in the way we want.

For instance, just because we want to feel better right now, we can't make that happen. This in turn frustrates us and makes us feel hopeless and helpless. It's kind of funny, because we don't really have control over how we feel at the moment, even though I wish we did. You are right in that.

BUT, we do have control over the steps we take to deal with DP. And by taking baby steps in the right direction everyday, for weeks/months/years, we have the power to overcome DP/DR. Then one day (so I've heard) we look back and the DP is gone.

Can we control how we feel at the moment? I don't think so...

Can we lay the groundwork to recovery piece by piece, day by day?
I think so.

So.... I guess what I'm trying to say is that we do, and don't have control over DP. We don't have control over the way we feel at the moment, and it seems like we can't "help"ourselves, BUT we can help ourselves by investing in a "DP recovery 401K plan" (therpay, meds, pro-active thinking, not repeating bad patterns) which gradually collects interest.

Tricky as hell, but it might be the only way out..

Best,

Jon

 

[Guest]

Someone from another site, who knew me by email, told me by email that I should be better in a hospital, for now, to stay a while.

I don't know what you think of that? I don't want to go into a hospital! What will they do anyway??

Please can you please contact me? Email me or post? I really feel bad. I feel like if I go into hospital they will put me on many meds that I don't know, and I will not care about going home again. I know I made many mistakes about meds, but it's not the reason to go into a hospital!!!! I don't want to go there.....

Karine

 

[Guest]

oh I am in chat now.

 

[Guest]

You do not belong in a hospital Karine, unless you are at a point where you might do yourself or others harm.
Aside from keeping an eye on you, sedating you, etc, there is nothing they could do for you there.
You will only get better on the outside - not in a hospital.

 

[Homeskooled]

Dear Cynthia/Karine,
Only stop the Paxil at this point if your psych told you to. I took it, and it does have a nasty withdrawal. The anafanil will help with the withdrawal, however, so dont stop that too. And beleive it or not, an easy way to ease the withdrawal is to take some B vitamins and eat lots of chocolate. You'll probably feel better within a couple of days. I wouldnt up the Klonopin anymore. Just give the Anafranil some time and try to ease the withdrawal. If the Anafranil is working, you should be feeling less wired and more tired. There is a woman on the other DP site, Ron's DP site, who has been almost completely healed on Anafranil, as long as she stays on it. I havent seen her post on there for a long, long time. She too is in Canada. I'm not sure, but I think her name is Angie.

Peace
Homeskooled

 

[Guest]

Well HS,

You willl not be proud at me, but I want to go with another SSRI before going with Anafranil : Luvox. I want to be sure before taking tricyclic that another SSRI wont help more. I took Anaf. 2 days, fortunately it stopped the zaps. But I really felt wired and tired and I made a huge crisis. I feel so bad those days, it' sunbearable. I can't decribe it since it's also depression who is speaking. I know it's not really Anafranil, maybe but more Paxil withdrawal.

So I will begin Luvox (Fluvoxamine). I know I can't take caffeine with it, of Lithium, or Valium, or Xanax.... but I don't know about other meds like anti-epileptics or anti-psychotics. Do you know?

Anyway. I will continue this Klono, (don't have choice), until I begin. I really hope it can help. I will try.

It's true, Paxil helped anxiety and dp, but not dr, at all. It create loss of memory, and a bubble,lots of fatigue too.

Karine

 

[Homeskooled]

Dear Karine,
Oh my.....no, HS is not very happy....not that that should mean much, anyways. But for what its worth, Luvox isnt a very effective SSRI. It was first approved for use in OCD patients, but fluvoxamine isnt very special otherwise. Anafranil is one of the strongest sertogenic agents out there, and could definitely help take the edge off of the anxiety and DP. I think that other than Lamictal, the only two other anticonvulsants I would recommend would be Gabitril and Neurontin. Good Luck!

Peace
Homeskooled

 

[Guest]

My God it's not my day. Everybody seem angry at me. Just because I am so confused about which med to choose.

Some people say : take this AD. Other say : don't take this one! Some say : go to hospital! Am I crazy? Am I just anxious? Should I go for the strong medicine? Should I try another ssri? Who should I liscen???? My psy don't know anymore, and I am tired.

It feels like every fucking decision I make is not the good one. I feel guilty about very med decision I take!!!!!

I am really aware of all med side effects. Really. And that is why I don't know what to do.

HS : I tried Lamictal and was very ill. I throwed up and was very ill. Sorry but for me it's not the right choice. I can't! :roll:

I thought I could go for Luvox, but it seems it's not the right med. :!: I tried almost all SSRIs, I went to various withdrawal, I tried many anti-anxiety, I was ill with Lamictal.... it seems there is only Anafranil good for me????

Anyway, sorry.

Karine (headache and angry)