I’m going to start by saying that my life is already a bit ruined from the drugs I have taken. While I haven’t taken what I consider to be hard drugs my brain still has been changed. I have used AHDH meds for most of my life and at age 14 I smoked weed and developed DR/DP. Around I hear later I used tf out of a juul and it made my brain feel different. It made me robe out more offten and now I was stuck with problem. Around 3 months passed and I felt like it may have gotten better but now that I look back at it I’m pretty sure I just became better at dealing with it. I tried weed again and my DP/DR got bad again. 1 month later I tried Xanax and now my brain is fucked. It feels like a big portion of my brain is turned off it’s hard to describe. I recently cried a lot for no reason and I just sat there and it felt like I was sitting in someone’s body and was just crying. No emotion just the feeling of my eyes watering and breathing heavier. No relief feeling or saddens. I feel my brain is very messed and messed up for good. I’m only 16 but I don’t think my future is looking very bright. I have always been very paranoid and I feel like people are always out to poison me. Like tonight at dinner I didn’t want to finish the bread because I thought maybe someone had poisoned it. my uncle had schizophrenia and I’m pretty sure I’ll develop it. I really hope I don’t because if I do I think I’ll just end up killing myself. My life wouldn’t be worth living if I had the state my brain is in now + voices in my head. Thanks for reading.