Time means nothing. Days and days pass by in a fog that I confuse with my dreams. I feel scared all of the time, like there's something dark lurking and waiting to happen to me. It feels like I'm a character in a horror movie but I know I'm in one. I am on meds, I am seeing a therapist. I haven't left my house or showered in days. My boyfriend wants to take me to the hospital but we've been through that over and over and I know they'll just give me an ativan and send me home or have me talk to a therapist/psychiatrist which i already am doing. they won't hospitalize me because i'm not suicidal or homicidal. Physically I feel like I'm dying. I've had constant derealization for 5 years now but I don't think I've ever felt so terrible and hopeless.