[lufyajean]

I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME. PLEASE DONT JUDGE ME

I have had nightmares in the last month. I dream I shot my little brother. But the dream was very real. When i woke up, i cried and saw him in the room. But nothing happened to him.

But my mind is confused, what if it is true he is dead and now he is just my illusion? What if he's not alive? What if now it's not the real world and everything around me right now it just my illusion and figments? What if the dream was actually my real world and right now it is a dream and not reality?

I assumed my real world was in that dream. My real world is not here. Because I killed him right? So why is he still alive now? He shouldn't be here, right? I believe i killed him 😭 I feel very confused. Which one is true? Is that really dream? Am i awake now?

I need someone to help me correct the way I think back. I don't want to go crazy. IM SO SCARED 😭😭

 

[nonamenomad]

Hi friend! I just want to let you know you are okay. Your brother is okay. You did not kill him. It is nothing more than your own mine playing tricks on you. Our minds are somehow way more powerful than we give them credit for. I think vivid nightmares are fairly common, I don’t think you are alone in this. I can’t relate, so I don’t understand exactly what you are going through, but I do advise you to try and start helping yourself. Not because you are “crazy”, because you are NOT, but because you deserve to get better and feel better. Therapy, medicine, other things people with minds like ours use have shown some recovery and improvement. You deserve to feel better, I hope you try and get there. You are not crazy. You are not alone. You are real. And you are okay.

 

[Chip1021]

In your post, you acknowledge that you killed your brother “in a dream” and that you saw him alive and kicking “when you woke up”

It seems like you know what the truth of your situation is. Trust that understanding.

 

[lufyajean]

but im confused about what if my real life is from there? and not here. that is my problem right now. im confused between real life and dream.

 

[lufyajean]

but im confused about what if my real life is from there? and not here. that is my problem right now. im confused between real life and dream.

 

[lufyajean]

but im confused about what if my real life is from there? and not here. that is my problem right now. im confused between real life and dream.

 

[coolwhip27]

but im confused about what if my real life is from there? and not here. that is my problem right now. im confused between real life and dream.

Like chip said, you have to trust what you understand. You called it a dream, and you’re right. It’s only a dream.

 

[Trith]

Also everybody has dreams, and while they are dreaming it usually feels real, and when they wake up they realize it was just a dream, just like you. This is the normal experience for everybody. Dreaming of killing people isn't unheard of as well. I used to dream quite often that I beat my brother to death or shoot people I know (and not necessarily people I dislike). When it happens to me it's usually a sign of mild fear and guilt. But dreams speak in their own strange way. A friend of mine used to have long boring dreams where he was trying to hide a corpse so as to not get arrested by police for murder. As a teenager I used to have wet dreams about non-consentual sex. Whatever, it usually doesn't mean anything very deep, I'm a nice person in real life. That's just what dreams do.
But it sounds like you are in a perception mode that makes your experience feel frightening.

 

[Chip1021]

I would just like to add to what Trith eloquently said above, one difference between “normal” people like us and others who have similar bad dreams is that, for us (some of us anyway) real life is often described as feeling “dream-like,” but for most of us, we continue to acknowledge that it’s just a feeling, and more of a metaphor for the estrangement from our surroundings. So perhaps the issue you are facing is more general? That you are having difficulty distinguishing between dreams and real life? If so, I would have to suggest once again just to trust your instincts on this one. Your brother is alive in real life, and only dead in your dream. After all had you actually shot your brother, you definitely would have experienced some consequences from those actions. But because you have been neither arrested nor committed (I assume), that should be further evidence that that was just a dream. Acknowledge the validity of that, and don’t look back and re-litigate it. Just let it go.