[Petree]

Hi! Im not 100% sure that this is the right place to talk about this, but i just wanted some insight. My dad was yelling at me about half an hour ago, and i couldnt really remember any of the things he was saying no matter how hard i listened, and at somepoint everything just changed. Before i was so anxious and weird, but now i feel like ive woken up for the first time. The one before me was the character ive been playing in this play, and now im finally awake. I dont really understand the need for material things, i used to constantly consume media as escapism or play games, but thats so stupid. I dont need anything now, i will make my room clean, and do tasks like school work without a hitch. I feel totally different, i feel confident and self assured, i dont know why i felt anything i did. I feel totally disconnected from my past, even though i remember them. And nothing seems real, and i dont know how we are in the present and doing actions. I just dont understand how decisions and actions work and why we do them. Everything is so convoluted and overdramatic in real life, its all so needless! I feel no need to, but if i can stay as i am, i will get my job and be a productive member of society with ease. This is so easy, not being anxious, self centered, and depressed, i really hope i never turn back to that real me.

My soul just feels different, its all so silly, but i will play this game. Its like i got a cheat code, nothing matters now, but ill go the path with least resistance if i must play this game. Maybe im making all of this up, i have no idea. But all i know is that i am not old me anymore.

I can appreciate the rain outside my window right now, but i also feel this numbness, its not emotional numb, it feels almost good but not quite, its the thing that makes this all easy and disconnects me from being emotionally invested in this. Its like i broke the 4th wall, im awake now. It makes me so happy. Everything is going to be so easy. Sorry this was long, and sorry if this isnt the right place to speak of this. Man i sound silly but its how i really feel.

The best way tod escribe it is that im an alien that was transported into this human body. I have all of their memories, but im totally different. Like the old me is dead and i am the new and improved one.

 

[Samzone]

Good for you man. Sounds like you were a longtime sufferer of dp and finally got out. Life without dpdr is bland and boring a lot of the time but there is great bliss in the calmness and clarity of it. I often think about those people who complain about their life being boring and they have no idea how good they have it. If only I could just have my own boring life back right now

Try to make sure you do the things you just described and keep walking ahead. I hope you will keep being happy

 

[Trith]

Hi! Im not 100% sure that this is the right place to talk about this, but i just wanted some insight. My dad was yelling at me about half an hour ago, and i couldnt really remember any of the things he was saying no matter how hard i listened, and at somepoint everything just changed. Before i was so anxious and weird, but now i feel like ive woken up for the first time. The one before me was the character ive been playing in this play, and now im finally awake. I dont really understand the need for material things, i used to constantly consume media as escapism or play games, but thats so stupid. I dont need anything now, i will make my room clean, and do tasks like school work without a hitch. I feel totally different, i feel confident and self assured, i dont know why i felt anything i did. I feel totally disconnected from my past, even though i remember them. And nothing seems real, and i dont know how we are in the present and doing actions. I just dont understand how decisions and actions work and why we do them. Everything is so convoluted and overdramatic in real life, its all so needless! I feel no need to, but if i can stay as i am, i will get my job and be a productive member of society with ease. This is so easy, not being anxious, self centered, and depressed, i really hope i never turn back to that real me.

My soul just feels different, its all so silly, but i will play this game. Its like i got a cheat code, nothing matters now, but ill go the path with least resistance if i must play this game. Maybe im making all of this up, i have no idea. But all i know is that i am not old me anymore.

I can appreciate the rain outside my window right now, but i also feel this numbness, its not emotional numb, it feels almost good but not quite, its the thing that makes this all easy and disconnects me from being emotionally invested in this. Its like i broke the 4th wall, im awake now. It makes me so happy. Everything is going to be so easy. Sorry this was long, and sorry if this isnt the right place to speak of this. Man i sound silly but its how i really feel.

The best way tod escribe it is that im an alien that was transported into this human body. I have all of their memories, but im totally different. Like the old me is dead and i am the new and improved one.

That's interesting. But could you please give us more context? You seem to be describing things that pertain both to DPDR and recovery. You seem to be more relaxed and confident, and at the same time you say that things don't feel real, when a lot of people actually experience the opposite (not real goes with stress, and relaxed goes with feeling real). But anyway, it's great that you have such a good experience.
Could you please tell us more about what you were feeling before this happened? Have you been having DPDR before and now you feel cured? Or to the contrary, do you feel you were stressed and now you experience some feeling of unreality that actually makes you feel better and that think could be some kind of "good DPDR"?

Edit: and are you saying that after your father yelled at you you stood up to him? Because I have often felt that for me DPDR was related to living for others rather than for myself, being like an empty she'll instead of really inhabiting who I am. If I understand you correctly it feels like you switched to wanting to do things for yourself and kind of "taking responsibility" 100% between you and yourself and not because someone told you. Right now there are things that help me a lot that are connected to self validation for example, rather than needing validation from others. The path is not that straightforward for me but it is definitely the direction that seems to help.

 

[coolwhip27]

I think I may have somewhat of an explanation for this. In times of crisis, the brain can wake up from the delusions of living it’s boring daily life, doing the same routine etc. But it’s not just in times of crisis in the literal meaning. Think of if your brain was able to be that awake all the time, what would that mean? Your perception would be clear and you’d have that real kind of intelligence. The intelligence of being awake to reality. Not slumbering in the deep recesses, being unaware, but rather you’re awakened to the crisis of reality, and to be really aware of that crisis is to be awake. Does this make any sense to you?

 

[coolwhip27]

That's interesting. But could you please give us more context? You seem to be describing things that pertain both to DPDR and recovery. You seem to be more relaxed and confident, and at the same time you say that things don't feel real, when a lot of people actually experience the opposite (not real goes with stress, and relaxed goes with feeling real). But anyway, it's great that you have such a good experience.
Could you please tell us more about what you were feeling before this happened? Have you been having DPDR before and now you feel cured? Or to the contrary, do you feel you were stressed and now you experience some feeling of unreality that actually makes you feel better and that think could be some kind of "good DPDR"?

Edit: and are you saying that after your father yelled at you you stood up to him? Because I have often felt that for me DPDR was related to living for others rather than for myself, being like an empty she'll instead of really inhabiting who I am. If I understand you correctly it feels like you switched to wanting to do things for yourself and kind of "taking responsibility" 100% between you and yourself and not because someone told you. Right now there are things that help me a lot that are connected to self validation for example, rather than needing validation from others. The path is not that straightforward for me but it is definitely the direction that seems to help.

It’s really a simple kind of phenomena. You kinda hit the nail on the head by mentioning responsibility. You experience a crisis and so put all your energy to being awake. This implies not running away but facing it

 

[Trith]

It’s really a simple kind of phenomena. You kinda hit the nail on the head by mentioning responsibility. You experience a crisis and so put all your energy to being awake. This implies not running away but facing it

Oh it's really not what I meant. I was talking more about something like inhabiting your own self in your daily life. It affects for example what I do in my daily life, and if I do it for myself or because I think it would please someone else for example. In the first case I respect who I am, I take myself into account, I don't try to make my own needs disappear in order to please others, for example. There is really no crisis in that. And it's more about respecting myself and not forgetting myself, rather than facing things or not.

 

[leminaseri]

Life without dpdr is bland and boring a lot of the time but there is great bliss in the calmness and clarity of it.

this. so much this.. but the more the dpdr remains in my mind the more it becomes me… i need to find a solution.. a breakthrough…

 

[coolwhip27]

Oh it's really not what I meant. I was talking more about something like inhabiting your own self in your daily life. It affects for example what I do in my daily life, and if I do it for myself or because I think it would please someone else for example. In the first case I respect who I am, I take myself into account, I don't try to make my own needs disappear in order to please others, for example. There is really no crisis in that. And it's more about respecting myself and not forgetting myself, rather than facing things or not.

I don’t think you follow. Pleasing others and not taking yourself in account is in of itself a form of not facing it. When there is pain one would rather look away from what is than face it. Seeing the crisis of what is transforms you, because there’s a crisis. Obviously

 

[Trith]

I don’t think you follow. Pleasing others and not taking yourself in account is in of itself a form of not facing it. When there is pain one would rather look away from what is than face it. Seeing the crisis of what is transforms you, because there’s a crisis. Obviously

That's not how I feel it, but if it is how you feel it, you are welcome to say that.

 

[coolwhip27]

That's not how I feel it, but if it is how you feel it, you are welcome to say that.

I know I’m welcome to say just about anything. It’s not about whether or not you agree or disagree or that we both agree with something. The truth is up in the air, i have no attachment to what I’m saying either. Truth is not personal preference. But every ounce of information is perceived according to our interpretation. You only see through the lens that your perception allows, but in knowing that, through patience and understanding, one can have a discussion without feeling separate from one another about it, without any tension just because you have your interpretation of anything said and I have mine

 

[NoDevils]

It sounds like you have some dissociative experiences and recently your attachments became loosened. Loosening attachment to things can help alleviate stress. Why stress about not being up on the latest fad if you simply don't care? Our attachment to things causes us pain. These concepts are explored in Stoicism. I would encourage people not to consider themselves enlightened or completely detached from life because that doesn't make sense. If you still value going to school and work then you're not entirely above the influence of worldly affairs. Maybe this is what Aristotle meant when he said, "Anyone who does not partake of society is either a beast or a god."