i feel a rush of myriad emotions

413 Views 5 Replies 2 Participants Last post by Scattered, Sep 2, 2005

flowingly

Discussion Starter · Sep 1, 2005

right now, i feel what seems like countless emotions, all going on at once. i laugh while i cry, i'm scared but feel comforted, i feel pain and i feel nothing, blah blah blah. million thoughts through my head every minute, million different emotions, all at once. i'm overwhelmed. i try to distract myself by watching tv, but it's like they're all puppets. dance, puppets...dance. where's the puppet-master, has he forgotten about his puppets, i feel unplayed with, like the puppetmaster has me stored. i observe. i feel special, i feel alienated. i feel love, and i feel hatred of intense epic proportion. i feel crazy, i want to laugh at myself. i feel watched, i feel like i'm watching. i feel alone, but i feel like there are others with me in my room.

smile and show no emotion, smile and show no emotion

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flowingly

Discussion Starter · #2 · Sep 1, 2005

i'm scared. nothing feels right. my brain is screaming. i can see it screaming. i feel someone is here with me, but then again i can't see anyone and apparantly i'm crazy. i don't exist. but then, how can non-existance exist. the other person won't stop staring at me. i don't think she's going away anytime soon. but i can't see her. i'm typing but i'm just watching myself type. i feel sick. i feel sweaty. my brain won't shut up.

SHUT UP. :evil:

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flowingly

Discussion Starter · #3 · Sep 1, 2005

i passed by the mirror and i frightened myself. i felt and looked like a ghost. i could almost see through me. felt like i was seeing myself for an eternity, when it was only a second or two. i can't get the image out of my mind.

3rd reply in own post, i guess it's time for a sleeping pill.

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flowingly

Discussion Starter · #5 · Sep 1, 2005

Scattered said:
Been there. Might be visiting again soon.

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I felt like I was going to die but it all eventually evened out and I was alright. I believe I have cycles of intense anxiety and then calmness. I'm hoping that you will be coming out of this soon, just hang in there.

The hardest part is if I tell someone in my life, they don't believe me. So I pretend I'm ok, and don't call or anything if I feel like this. It's very lonely. I'm sorry you've gone through that before, too. When I first learned there were others like me, I wasn't so much relieved as I felt bad others had to suffer, too.

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