I don't know who I am

My name is Wolfie I use the name because it's better than my real one, I don't really have any hobbies or things I like or dislike. I'm not really sure who I am or why I'm here or even if what I experience is even dissociation. I constantly have episodes the first type of episode is where I get so upset and anxious I run away, destroy things, and black out. The second type is where I have flashback type memories and I cover my ears and just want it to be over then after it is over I have nightmares as well as hallucinations, and the third type is where I black out and feel as if I'm not real or not myself it's sometimes brought on by the first episode. I also sometimes can't tell whether or not my eyes are in the right spot, my feet backwards, or if my face is missing when I look into reflections. I don't feel like I'm human and I just wish I knew why, so I joined this forum because someone told me about it and I seemed to relate to it I'm someway.