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My name is Wolfie I use the name because it's better than my real one, I don't really have any hobbies or things I like or dislike. I'm not really sure who I am or why I'm here or even if what I experience is even dissociation. I constantly have episodes the first type of episode is where I get so upset and anxious I run away, destroy things, and black out. The second type is where I have flashback type memories and I cover my ears and just want it to be over then after it is over I have nightmares as well as hallucinations, and the third type is where I black out and feel as if I'm not real or not myself it's sometimes brought on by the first episode. I also sometimes can't tell whether or not my eyes are in the right spot, my feet backwards, or if my face is missing when I look into reflections. I don't feel like I'm human and I just wish I knew why, so I joined this forum because someone told me about it and I seemed to relate to it I'm someway.
 

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Hey Wolfie,

I can relate to some of the things that you described. Namely, blackouts, flashbacks, hallucinations, and not recognizing my own face in the mirror, but I am not sure whether this last one fits your description. I have been diagnosed with depersonalization-derealization disorder, but also with dissociative amnesia, and I have a history of serious childhood trauma. I do not want to suggest anything, as no one can tell you exactly what is going on with you, except a reliable professional in the domain of psychiatry. I hope that you will be able to make sense of the things that you experience.

Best,

Anna
 

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My name is Wolfie I use the name because it's better than my real one, I don't really have any hobbies or things I like or dislike. I'm not really sure who I am or why I'm here or even if what I experience is even dissociation. I constantly have episodes the first type of episode is where I get so upset and anxious I run away, destroy things, and black out. The second type is where I have flashback type memories and I cover my ears and just want it to be over then after it is over I have nightmares as well as hallucinations, and the third type is where I black out and feel as if I'm not real or not myself it's sometimes brought on by the first episode. I also sometimes can't tell whether or not my eyes are in the right spot, my feet backwards, or if my face is missing when I look into reflections. I don't feel like I'm human and I just wish I knew why, so I joined this forum because someone told me about it and I seemed to relate to it I'm someway.
 

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Hi Wolfie!

I am glad you are looking for understanding your condition and possible help with it. While I personally think you seem to have dpds, it would be good for you to see a specialist. Most people here, just likmyself, have experienced dpds and it is quite different for every one.
The only thing I can say that I have learned from my personal experience is that I waited for to long for this condition to pass, get better by itself. I should have looked for professional help earlier.
It takes many years for me to recover. Years!
If you can, plz look for a doctor.

I hope you will get help soon.
 
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