[Brainsilence02]

i dont know which one is the worst

beeing alone

or feeling alone

what do you guys do when you feel? it would be nice to have a girl, but

however, i am thinking that this isnt the point

anyone who had alike thoughts, please tell me

 

[enigma]

I think feeling alone is much worse (everyone's heard about how you can feel alone in crowds).

Actually being alone, on the other hand, can actually be quite pleasant and tranquil.

e

 

[Guest]

both are equally terrible, but it depends on what kind of person you are. I am afraid to be alone these days and i have a group of friends to keep me company, but for a long long time i hated people and the only thing i desired was to be alone...Yeah, a girl would definetly help for you. get out to a club and find yourself a fine lookin lady son!

 

[bat]

greece in the springtime; what a wonderful place to be. are you near the sea? if i was a bloke there looking for a girl i'd go for a walk on the beach in late afternoon/early evening

 

[Guest]

brain silence i think that feeling alone is worse. Ive developed this umm yearn for a good relationship with a girl, but because im so fuckin picky & weird about these types of things, nothing has really happened, so of course I feel alone.

Its frustrating

 

[Guest]

for me it's feeling alone.I have a boyfriend yet I still sometimes feel alone.

As an introvert I'm rather good at being alone except when my dp is extreme,that's when I'm afraid to be alone.........what a complex little mess :roll:

 

[ShyTiger]

For me its also feeling alone. Even when i was in a group of fellow friends-sometimes-most times i would feel very alone and on the outer. When i am alone its expected that i'll feel alone cause i am. Does that make sense??

 

[Brainsilence02]

Thank you for your posts.

A relative sais that he never actually had friends, just "known people" (how do you say this in English?). And that people are in fact alone. He also sais that the closest thing I could get is a wife (in future of cource, when I will be master of myself so that I can have a chanse to be a good husband). He adds that it is only when he is alone that he feels trully himself (sometimes he wants to stay totally alone, without even his wife around). And I remember that I had moments that I was alone and was feeling good (some years ago) because I was settling down things that bothered me, and I was really finding my self.

greece in the springtime; what a wonderful place to be. are you near the sea? if i was a bloke there looking for a girl i'd go for a walk on the beach in late afternoon/early evening

Yes it is, but that's not the problem. The problem is me. I really feel I am missing things, and this is, again, more bad than actually missing them.

brain silence i think that feeling alone is worse. Ive developed this umm yearn for a good relationship with a girl, but because im so f--- picky & weird about these types of things, nothing has really happened, so of course I feel alone.

Yes, I am around the same. I just expect to find the perfect girl, that I will have all the three basic things (communication, sentiment, etc).

 

[Guest]

I need to be alone at times. I worry that there are times when I will need it and I won't be able to get it in certain situations.

It's way worse to feel lonely and alone.

Needing time to myself is so much different then feeling all alone.

One is a choice ...freedom.

The other is sadness and feeling like you don't have anyone.

 

[Guest]

Im feeling very alone at this point. Its like I have this need that I have to satisfy and it almost seems impossible. Its like I can't find a girl that I deem relationship worthy, and even at times when I have, nothing significant has happened. And yet I ask myself? Is typing this on a message board really helping my case? NOPE, But I constantly dwell on the fact that I don't have a girlfriend and that I should have a girlfriend. Or at least a female friend with benefits. Lonliness is horrible, it makes you feel so depressed, especially when you have friends in relationships and see people all the time. I really feel like I am doomed in this area and will be stuck looking for " the right one" for a very long time. And shit, im not even talkin marriage or anything even close, im only 19. Im just talkin finding a girlfriend worthy female.

 

[rainboteers]

I think it is so much worse to feel alone. Especially if you have people in your life that really care about you. You feel guilty that you can't connect with them. Sometimes being around my family and friends can make me feel worse because it reminds me that I don't feel like myself.

 

[Da'Burgh]

Feeling alone is worse for me. I would elaborate but I haven't any time right now.

 

[Ben]

Feeling alone or being alone - which one is worse?

Neither - really, feeling lonely is probably the worst state, in my opinion, for a human to be in; we're quite social from what I gather and feeling lonely can be quite devastating to us. Alone is simply a state, I think - where lonely is more a take on that state. In other words, does being alone make you lonely?

To me being alone can be quite nice - very peaceful, at times. I don't have to deal with the constant pull of someone else and I can just kind of melt into the world around me and feel my environment and watch and observe, listen, and learn. Being alone doesn't have to make me lonely.

I have been lonely before, though - and it can be quite bad, very depressing. Drugs and alcohol was how I got through it for the longest time - getting high with my bandmates; and it simply didn't do much for me other than destroy myself a little - killed time I never did and never will get back. I was very close to ending it all at one point - I remember the night even, very bad times (on a couple occasions I almost ended it due to substance problems accidentally). The feeling of loneliness led me into very destructive and shallow relationships that, looking back, were horrific. I'm glad those times are gone (and I'm only 24! Seems like a lifetime ago)

So...I read a lot of talk on here about "getting a girl" or whatever, and expecting that to make you feel better. But - nope - it won't, in fact, getting into a relationship when you're like this can make it all the more worse as you tend to become dependent upon something that is not constant. You can get dumped at any time. Good friends - that's how to survive this. Love your friends.

Bare in mind that these are just my opinions and, obviously, you should live your life the way you best see fit. But my experience in life has led me to believe that my condition is the result of instability inside - something that cannot be solved by latching onto more instability on the outside. Drugs, alcohol, random sex - all opiates against the real issues that kill us on the inside and seem to do nothing more than confuse the problems.

Ah..I must be in a rambling mood tonight....the point is that loneliness is one of the worst conditions for a human to be in. If you feel lonely, do yourself a favor and try to back out of it - sanely.

 

[agentcooper]

i totally agree with you, ben! it's the worst time in the world to look for a relationship when you are desperate for one. you need to be happy by yourself before you can even start to be happy with someone else. and i know this is a mental health board, but it is still possible for all of you to be happy with yourselves...just not with your disorders.

 

[Guest]

Are you really an agent?

 

[agentcooper]

an fbi agent...dale cooper. i'm investigating who killed laura palmer...

 

[Guest]

interesting

 

[Guest]

I think it is so much worse to feel alone. Especially if you have people in your life that really care about you. You feel guilty that you can't connect with them. Sometimes being around my family and friends can make me feel worse because it reminds me that I don't feel like myself.

I feel exactly the same way. I hate not being able to explain what is going on to my family and friends. Then I feel guilty because of this. I wish I could somehow get them to understand, but I know that will never happen.[

 

[rainboteers]

bitters602,
Yes you are right they will probably never truely understand, BUT I understand so that means no matter how alone you feel you are NOT alone.

You telling me you know exactly how I feel makes me feel less alone and I will remember that when I am around family and friends, looking at them and thinking they have no idea.

Thank you

 

[Ben]

bitters,

I had an interesting experience the other day trying to explain the condition to a friend of mine. I made comment that it was like 24 hour deja vu - and he kind of sat back and was like, "You mean, where you get the feeling that everything has already happened?". My response was, "No - it's 24 hours of feeling the results of the feeling that everything has already happened - the odd feeling of displacement and disjunct association with your environment".

He, after thinking about it, nods to me and goes, "Yeah, that would suck".