[theweirdonextdoor]

Jan 1st fireworks went off midnight and my mind exploded with it.

I am not new to DP/DR I suffered from it 5 years ago after smoking weed and I was stuck in the phase for 8-9 months and eventually made a full recovery.

This time it hit me different, I was smoking CBD Flower with 0.1% THC to deal with anxiety and my intrusive thoughts and all of a sudden one night I felt something break.
I stopped feeling emotions, I stopped feeling connected, my thoughts seem so far away and my inner-self, geez he died or something.

• I can no longer function
• anxiety gets so bad I feel sick to my stomach
• lost crazy amount of weight in a span of 3 weeks
• no interests in anything
• everyone feels weird
• cant concentrate
• shaking
• I keep breaking down and crying
• headaches
• my brain feels like it's foggy.....
• no emotions (but I can cry??)

although, my appetite is somewhat back although I have no desire to eat, even though I know I should. I cant process things like I use to. I have a full support circle. I just feel like I am stuck like this forever again and I keep getting vibe that is "the end" for me.

Last time I had existential thoughts, took a while but once dp left those thoughts never came again.

thanks.

 

[coolwhip27]

Yeah. I know what it feels like. It feels like you’re under pressure to function like a normal person even in your own company and you burst into a million pieces and get stuck. You’re stuck, you don’t know how it happened, don’t know how to get out and you just want to be sane again. You don’t know which way to go while the brain is desert dry like it is. But I’ve found that there is no direction. There’s no straight line back home. You need meditation. And so do I. Think about it, are you letting your thoughts be in control, rather than controlling them? can you stop thinking for one minute, just no thought at all?

 

[theweirdonextdoor]

Yeah. I know what it feels like. It feels like you’re under pressure to function like a normal person even in your own company and you burst into a million pieces and get stuck. You’re stuck, you don’t know how it happened, don’t know how to get out and you just want to be sane again. You don’t know which way to go while the brain is desert dry like it is. But I’ve found that there is no direction. There’s no straight line back home. You need meditation. And so do I. Think about it, are you letting your thoughts be in control, rather than controlling them? can you stop thinking for one minute, just no thought at all?

thanks for the adivce!

hopefully in time I can feel a sense of norm and you also :') until then it's either gonna break me or make me, not to sure.