This is consistent with how a lot of young people are feeling today. It probably is pathological on some level but honestly it doesn't sound too serious. Make sure your familial and community ties are healthy and strong, focus on your goals, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Whatever you are bottling up you might want to talk to someone you can count on. If there is no such person in your life, also common, maybe try a counsellor. It's okay to be yourself. Everyone is beautiful and intelligent to an extent. If you want to be gentle and motherly as a man, that will probably be well received. If you want to be strong as a female, that will be well received by most people. We can be who we want to be. Who will stop us?