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I cant feel anything at all. No negative, no positive. In fact, i cant even understand what these are anymore. All im aware of is the fact i exist. I dont feel good or bad. I have no drive for anything. I keep thinking dying is the only logical thing to do. I dont know why id want to feel good anymore. Its just a feeling. Im just existing. My feelings arnt even real, are they? The only thing that kept me from killing myself before was to prevent others from feeling the pain of my loss but now i dont even understand pain anymore. I dont understand anything. All i know and feel is i exist.
 

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Same
 

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You might consider yourself lucky. It is possible to lose all positive emotions and have them replaced with horrible sensations like fear of impending doom, imminent death, profound hopelessness, anxiety so strong one cannot chew or swallow food.

Thoughts that are so ugly they cause a physical reaction like your stomach knotting up. If it's any consolation, in a hundred years it is unlikely your existence will have made any difference. On the flip side, I went through all this stuff and came out

the other side with a smile on my face. Where there is life, there is hope.
 

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is there a name for this? I am feeling the same, I want to make sure I am able to provide a name when I am at my doctor
 
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