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I don’t feel like I have a deep connection with Any one idk if I ever did I forget everything I don’t feel real. Like I don’t believe people could love or care for me or whatever
 

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Yep, I feel that way too. Often people call it attachment disorder, where early normal attachments weren't there, so we never quite feel here, welcomed or loved. I don't know if you went through that or if I'm projecting, but it's one known cause of depersonalization.
 
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