[Qk8]

Hello, I am new here, I’ve been struggling for so long and lately I became aware that I am absolutely not ok. So I mainly feel disconnected from the world as if it’s not the reality or perhaps this could not be MY reality. I don’t feel myself and when I look in the mirror I can’t relate to me, I feel a stranger in my own body. Also I feel I am living the world as in a third person pint of view instead of first. And I feel that there is someone within me living inside my body some sort of voice but I can’t really feel it’s me. I think this is depersonalization derealization disorder, because of my traumatic reality I removed myself from this reality which only makes it worse. Can you pls share with me your experience.

 

[ithinkimighthaveddd]

Hi, I can very much relate. For me, I don´t think I have been through anything severly traumatic, but I believe my symptoms were triggered throughout my teenage years and have stayed with me into adulthood (along with anxiety). I couldn´t put a finger on what it was, but I felt and feel disconnected from myself and the world around me, like everything is a bit hazy and odd somehow. Alien, in a way. Like I am just an observer, someone peaking in through a window looking in. Like I´m a side character in my own life and existence. Or like I exist in a bubble, or like a ghost. And in me, like you, I can feel very weird looking at my hands and such, as if they aren´t my hands. As if the one looking back at me in the mirror is a stranger, though rationally I know that it´s me. But my experience of myself and my surroundings is hazy, like a dream.

I don´t feel scared though, because I´m kind of used to it. I feel like I´ve been like this forever. I´m not sure why. It does affect my emotions and my relationships with others and myself, my identity and sense of self. I feel like everyone else are alive and I´m just in the background, somehow. Like I said, peaking in through the window. It´s a very strange feeling and I thought I was the only one for the longest time. I feel disconnected from my emotions, like I should feel more, whatever situation I´m in, I think that I should feel more than I do, somehow. But then, if there is a situation where I´m experiencing a lot of emotions, I feel overwhelmed and somehow even more like it´s a dream! Strange, isn´t it? Like when my boyfriend hugs me and I´m happy, but it´s like I experience that happiness at a distance, if that makes sense. Like it´s faded.

Man, it´s hard to describe all these things... But perhaps you can relate to it. I just wish I could be shaken and wake up somehow, from this state of being. Even though it doesn´t scare me and I´m aware that this might be a condition, it´s still affecting my experience of existence in a way I wish was different... I wish I felt more connected to myself, my surroundings and the people around me. I honestly think it´s affecting me a lot, and I´m sure it´s the same for you. I´m sorry you´re going through this... At least you know you´re not alone and hopefully you can find ways to connect and ground yourself again.

 

[Qk8]

Hi, I can very much relate. For me, I don´t think I have been through anything severly traumatic, but I believe my symptoms were triggered throughout my teenage years and have stayed with me into adulthood (along with anxiety). I couldn´t put a finger on what it was, but I felt and feel disconnected from myself and the world around me, like everything is a bit hazy and odd somehow. Alien, in a way. Like I am just an observer, someone peaking in through a window looking in. Like I´m a side character in my own life and existence. Or like I exist in a bubble, or like a ghost. And in me, like you, I can feel very weird looking at my hands and such, as if they aren´t my hands. As if the one looking back at me in the mirror is a stranger, though rationally I know that it´s me. But my experience of myself and my surroundings is hazy, like a dream.

I don´t feel scared though, because I´m kind of used to it. I feel like I´ve been like this forever. I´m not sure why. It does affect my emotions and my relationships with others and myself, my identity and sense of self. I feel like everyone else are alive and I´m just in the background, somehow. Like I said, peaking in through the window. It´s a very strange feeling and I thought I was the only one for the longest time. I feel disconnected from my emotions, like I should feel more, whatever situation I´m in, I think that I should feel more than I do, somehow. But then, if there is a situation where I´m experiencing a lot of emotions, I feel overwhelmed and somehow even more like it´s a dream! Strange, isn´t it? Like when my boyfriend hugs me and I´m happy, but it´s like I experience that happiness at a distance, if that makes sense. Like it´s faded.

Man, it´s hard to describe all these things... But perhaps you can relate to it. I just wish I could be shaken and wake up somehow, from this state of being. Even though it doesn´t scare me and I´m aware that this might be a condition, it´s still affecting my experience of existence in a way I wish was different... I wish I felt more connected to myself, my surroundings and the people around me. I honestly think it´s affecting me a lot, and I´m sure it´s the same for you. I´m sorry you´re going through this... At least you know you´re not alone and hopefully you can find ways to connect and ground yourself again.

Hello thank you for your reply it means a lot to me and makes me feel supported. Girl you described it perfectly when you said “Like I´m a side character in my own life and existence” yeah it’s exactly how it feels. Very miserable and hard, but as you said we are not alone and it feels good when you can relate to someone. I hope we all get through this easily and get something out of it, thank you again.