I really can't cope anymore, I've been pretending I can cope for years and it's too much now. I'm in my 5th year of dp/dr, I've got panic disorder and agoraphobia, I haven't enjoyed myself for years and everyday all I do is try and get through the day without having a breakdown. I haven't been out socially for over 2 years and I've got no friends left. I've got chronic fatigue syndrome and my head and body hurt everyday and thump with pain whenever I do anything. I've got kidney disease and almost died a few years ago and I went through incredible physical pain with that. So yes, every day for me is all about serious physical, mental and emotional pain and I've had almost no relief from this for years. I don't have any opportunities left, I've nothing to look forward to, I have no hopes of a job/children/a relationship/money/friends/a social life/travel or holidays etc. I'm afraid I'll be like this forever and I can't see a way out. I can't find any relief from the pain. I feel like I can never have another panic attack again although I survived a 2 hour one last night. I've tried to get help but I know there's no one thing I can do or take that will make me better. And I know what I'm missing out on too, because I used to have everything and my life was fun. I don't even know why I'm bothering everyone with my problems because there's nothing anyone can do. And yes, I know my attitude stinks. I can't cope with the pain and the loss that my life is all about, and I'm scared I'll be punished some more. I've always been cheerful and said, oh well it can't get any worse, but it gets worse, worse than I imagined possible.
I can't cope
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Boohoo - we've all been there, seemingly at the end of our tether, looking into the immediate future and seeing nothing but a dark black abyss. But there is always hope, always hope, and you musn't give in, ever. To begin with keep reminding yourself that there is a way out of the hole you are in, because there is. I, and many others, am testiment to this fact. It is not a life sentence.
Like Sojourner said, you've got to seek professional help, and now.
You can cope, because you've got not choice. This is the biggest struggle you'll ever have in your life, so when you get over it you'll have the rest of your life to look forward to, and enjoy.
Like Sojourner said, you've got to seek professional help, and now.
You can cope, because you've got not choice. This is the biggest struggle you'll ever have in your life, so when you get over it you'll have the rest of your life to look forward to, and enjoy.
"I can't cope with the pain and the loss that my life is all about, and I'm scared I'll be punished some more."
Why do you think you're being punished?
I can totally relate to this feeling, that I was being singled out and punished for something, I felt tremendous guilt over things that I understand now are simply quite human and normal. People are flawed, that's just all there is to it. I was convinced I had to be perfect, and hence I cracked, I had to.
A lot of us here have experienced a terrible personal loss that set the stage for emotional instability. I bet if you share a little more about what's going on behind the scenes you'll be suprised how many people here can relate to your experiences.
Why do you think you're being punished?
I can totally relate to this feeling, that I was being singled out and punished for something, I felt tremendous guilt over things that I understand now are simply quite human and normal. People are flawed, that's just all there is to it. I was convinced I had to be perfect, and hence I cracked, I had to.
A lot of us here have experienced a terrible personal loss that set the stage for emotional instability. I bet if you share a little more about what's going on behind the scenes you'll be suprised how many people here can relate to your experiences.
Hey Boohoo. When i would think there was no way out and i couldnt picture my life any other way than with dp/agoraphobia ect i would remind myself that i was looking at things with a dp head. I was looking at things from an unhealthy place and that even thou i couldnt see it, i had to have faith that there would be better days. I am pretty good now but back then i would of thought there was absolutly no way that i would have any simiance of a life.I am glad to prove my dp head wrong 
I think it would be good to see your doc or therapist. They can at least give you some tools to cope with where your at. Dont be concerned about telling us about how your feeling its good to vent and you have a very understanding audience. You have been through alot so dont be too hard on yourself. Keep believing in better days. Take care.
I think it would be good to see your doc or therapist. They can at least give you some tools to cope with where your at. Dont be concerned about telling us about how your feeling its good to vent and you have a very understanding audience. You have been through alot so dont be too hard on yourself. Keep believing in better days. Take care.Thanks so much for replying. It's true, I've no choice but to cope, but I'm still hating every minute of it.
I was seeing a psychiatrist but I had a terrible panic attack in there last year and haven't been back since. But I don't see what anyone else can do for me. It really helped to talk through all of my issues with him (after spending years not knowing what was wrong with me, thinking I was the only one this had happened to...) and I've learnt a lot from him - coping, desentitisation etc. But what more can anyone do? This is my point really, even if I still did have a therapist, even if I chose to take medication, even if I took all the help I could get, nothing or no-one can take away the pain of experiencing dp or having a panic attack. Am I right in thinking there's no cure, just help? I know I'll have to do this myself and it's going to be incredibly difficult, and that's what I'm afraid of really, knowing what lies ahead. I've come a long way from 6 panic attacks a day, puking with fear and unreality so bad it distorted everything I looked at.. but I'm still in hell. I'm really having problems coming to terms with being agoraphobic. I never imagined it would happen, and it happened so quickly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not surprised I have mental health issues - I mean, everyone always did say I was weird. But I was so sociable and was never at home. I'd be the sad tosser who'd even be out on a Monday night.
I suppose because my dp is weed induced, it feels like I was taught a lesson for doing something wrong. And because of that, I feel as if I don't have the right to self pity about it. DON'T get me wrong, I'm not saying any of us deserve this (who imagined this could happen??) but I'm sure other people can relate to the guilt I feel. Don't take that the wrong way, I can't be arsed with a tiff. Not that anyone reading this is still awake. I know what a bore I am.
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