[squish_is_me]

I honest to god thought I was nuts! Seriously going insane! It helps me feel better to know I am truely not alone! It also helps me to deal with this now! Instead of sitting and wondering over and over if I am going insane I can tell myself it is just a DR episode and it will pass! I am fine! Stop worrying! Before I told myself it was my anxiety and tried to use that to sooth my fears. Inside I always knew this couldnt just be anxiety though! So it didnt help alot because as I told myself it was anxiety I was looking at what seemed to be an LSD land! I knew that couldnt just be anxiety! So I am already finding it a good coping method just know that I have this!
When I found this site through a search I began crying as I read the symptoms! I couldnt believe there was a word for my terror! My first episode hit a little over a year ago when I was out to eat with Adam's (my childrens father) family. I was telling a story and suddenly my reality just sorta floated away! Like I had suddenly decided to take a HUGE dose of acid! Only thing was I didnt and it was alot more like coming down off acid than being on it! Which is super freaky! Any of you who have ever done acid and stayed awake while comming down should know what I mean! Is is like a non reality land as you watch reality fade back it! I always hated that! And here I sat, in the middle of a story, and for no aparent reason I was in this nonreality! Hearing myself talk and being a part of it all the while feeling as though I am dreaming!
I left the restaraunt and sat in the car, without telling anyone what I was doing! I was seriously freaked out and convinced I was going nuts! I had suddenly lost it!! Adam and his sis came out looking for me and asking what is wrong. All I could say was things just dont feel right! Much like the deffinition I found here, what was I supposed to say? I feel as though I have been suddenly drugged and the world seems unreal! I feared them all thinking I had gone nuts and lost it! The rest of the day I sat in terror terrified that someone would find out what was going on and I would loose my children because I am crazy!
When we left his parents house latter that day I tried to explain to him. He sorta laughed and told me he didnt understand why I was so freaked out! That I had taken so much LSD in my time that I should be ok with it! I told him it is one thing when you take something and ASK for reality to buz off for a while and an entirely different thing when it just sorta flitters away on its own without warning! I still really dont think he understands why it upsets me so.
Well anyway, I am glad to have you all! THat is my first story and I just thought I would share it. If anyone wants to share their first DR or DP story with me feel free!

 

[mcsiegs]

Welcome to the forum!

First of all, you are not going crazy and will not lose your kids. I am also very proud of you that in your first DR episode, you actually told people what you were experiencing. For years, I did not tell anyone at the risk of them thinking I was nuts. But now I finally understand that these feelings and experiences happen to most people. Unfortunately, to us on this community, it happens more frequently...sometimes consistently.

It sounds as though yours may be drug-induced (you spoke of acid). YOu will find a nice mix on this site of non-drug induced and drug-induced DPers, all of whom I respect and love dearly.

This forum, like most, you will find to be open and understanding (no topic is off limits). Sometimes certain forums get emotional and intense, but I view that as the beauty of the forum. Most DP and DRers seem very passionate about their beliefs and feelings. That is pure beauty in and of itself.

 

[squish_is_me]

I have not done acid for 4 yrs and have not smoked pot in 2 1/2 yrs! I did realize that smoking brought it on but it was purely drug induced! The episode I wrote of here was my first real episode outside of drugs!

 

[Scattered]

Drugs provided the mental fodder and anxiety that comes when you realize that reality can be greatly manipulated by a chemical alone. After a few drug experiences my thoughts were more than a bit changed and my view of the world seemed to be a more skeptical one. I don't think this has to be a death sentence though, we're not continually degrading mentally. In my opinion this is just a bit of a shift of perception and we need to recalibrate. Welcome to the forum.

 

[gem]

Welcome to the site. I am happy that you have found a place where you can come and join others who are going through alot of what you experience. The illness itself is hard enough but the lonliness if you feel like no one understands can make it so much more painful. We are a kind and caring group of people who struggle day to day and we try and help each other get through the day. I believe life will get better and someday we will look back at this.

gem.