[shadowness]

i just realised that this is what i say to myself a hell of a lot...

i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...

etc...

then i go into thinking...

i cannot accept i am real...
i cannot accept this is life...
i cannot accept i can move...
i cannot accept i can think...
i cannot accept everything is real...
i cannot accept what i see...
i cannot accept what i feel...
i cannot accept what i think...
i cannot accept how other people live...
i cannot accept i can live...
i cannot accept i can die...
i cannot accept anything...

etc...

anyone else been thinking like this?

or know how to stop/cut down thinking this way?

or any comments what so ever?

i have done everything and anything to get rid of these thoughts...but they just keep haunting me over and over again...

thanks for reading...

 

[enigma]

i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...
i cannot accept i am real...
i cannot accept this is life...
i cannot accept i can move...
i cannot accept i can think...
i cannot accept everything is real...
i cannot accept what i see...
i cannot accept what i feel...
i cannot accept what i think...
i cannot accept how other people live...
i cannot accept i can live...
i cannot accept i can die...
i cannot accept anything...
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...
i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...
i cannot accept i am real...
i cannot accept this is life...
i cannot accept i can move...
i cannot accept i can think...
i cannot accept everything is real...
i cannot accept what i see...
i cannot accept what i feel...
i cannot accept what i think...
i cannot accept how other people live...
i cannot accept i can live...
i cannot accept i can die...
i cannot accept anything...
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...
i cannot accept i am real...
i cannot accept this is life...
i cannot accept i can move...
i cannot accept i can think...
i cannot accept everything is real...
i cannot accept what i see...
i cannot accept what i feel...
i cannot accept what i think...
i cannot accept how other people live...
i cannot accept i can live...
i cannot accept i can die...
i cannot accept anything...
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...
i cannot accept i am real...
i cannot accept this is life...
i cannot accept i can move...
i cannot accept i can think...
i cannot accept everything is real...
i cannot accept what i see...
i cannot accept what i feel...
i cannot accept what i think...
i cannot accept how other people live...
i cannot accept i can live...
i cannot accept i can die...
i cannot accept anything...
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...
i cannot accept i am real...
i cannot accept this is life...
i cannot accept i can move...
i cannot accept i can think...
i cannot accept everything is real...
i cannot accept what i see...
i cannot accept what i feel...
i cannot accept what i think...
i cannot accept how other people live...
i cannot accept i can live...
i cannot accept i can die...
i cannot accept anything...
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
i cannot believe i am real...
i cannot believe this is life...
i cannot believe i can move...
i cannot believe i can think...
i cannot believe everything is real...
i cannot believe what i see...
i cannot believe what i feel...
i cannot believe what i think...
i cannot believe how other people live...
i cannot believe i can live...
i cannot believe i can die...
i cannot believe anything...
i cannot accept i am real...
i cannot accept this is life...
i cannot accept i can move...
i cannot accept i can think...
i cannot accept everything is real...
i cannot accept what i see...
i cannot accept what i feel...
i cannot accept what i think...
i cannot accept how other people live...
i cannot accept i can live...
i cannot accept i can die...
i cannot accept anything...
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

 

[Guest]

yea i think like that

 

[ret]

same 'ere

hows reiki going shadow, helping much?

 

[enigma]

So do I (now :? ).

e

 

[smog]

Yeah, i have it exatctly like that. Because my mind cannot gasp the whole consept of thing like cognitive thinking, sensing and analyzing the world and so on, i always think i can lose the ability at any time. And thats the base of the anxiety.

Ok, this may be TOTALLY whaco for other people, but this thought experiment helps me sometimes.I lay my arm down perfectly still and say things to myself like "What do /I/ do when i move my arm? I know i'm moving my arm , but what do I do the moment my brain sends out a electic signal to my muscles?" And i repeat that, trying to bring on the feeling that i cannot move my arm, pretending for myself that i try to move my arm around without it moving and so on. But no matter how hard i try, when i finnaly reallt determine to move my arm, it allways respond. Thats the short version of my life. No matter, i'm never gonna lose my ability to reason and analyze the world aroudn me. When i get really anxious, feeling the ability is slipping away, i just think of my arm experiment. No matter how hard i try i never lose the ability to move my arm. Never. It's just not possible.

 

[Martinelv]

It would be interesting to someone of a psychoanalytical ilk to note that your thread was entitled, I cannot 'believe', while in your post you say that you cannot 'accept'. I'm not of a psychoanalytical ilk, despite Janines best efforts (and they are good :wink: ), but I think there is something in this.

Despite how you feel, reality is out there, outside your head. You have to 'believe' that (hells, I'm starting to sound religious here)...or rather, you have to know it. Acceptance can come later.

And of course, you do know it. I doubt you cannot 'accept' that you know how to ride a bike, or write, or breath. Yet you know you can. When I was in the grip of DR I never stopped telling myself (despite the evidence from my brain) that the real world was out there...and it is...and you'll get back to it.

 

[Homeskooled]

Thats right Martin...all we have to do is have faith - faith that nihilism isnt true, and that things really do exist, and we'll be alright. Hmm....I could go on, but I wont....

Peace
Homeskooled :wink:

 

[Guest]

Holy moly, Martin is really right! I am agog. It's enough to make one want to go to church, grin.

The word "belief" and the word "accept" - he is too right about the "truth" in that switch of word choice. From the psychoanalytic camp, what's being left out of this discussion is the RAGE behind the lament.

When we get in those obsessive modes, we are relentless. We are saying "I REFUSE" to accept (i.e., let it rest) unless I can be convinced. I WILL BE DAMNED if I will just push this out of my mind and go on with life - I did not ASK to be born, and I will not buy into this reality crap without KNOWING it is true. Do you hear mE???? I WILL NEVER SUBMIT TO THIS and just ACT like everythign is real..."

I"LL BE DAMNED IF I WILL PRETEND THIS WORLD IS REAL IF I DON'T FULLY BELIEVE IT.

well. you're damned all right. And whoever you're railing against isn't listening.

We have to give up our grudge against the world. for our OWN sake.

Love,
Janine

 

[Martinelv]

Woo hoo ! I've made Janine go agog !! Is that similar to going weak at the knees ? Is so, my work here is done.

And yes, Homeskooled, but the reality that I'm talking about, the 'first premise' that all DP'ers are straining to get back to, is something we all know to be real, or at least can come to a consensus about - much like the sky is blue, Martinelv is fat, etc. Not the basis of fantasy and wishfull thinking, like Martinelv is a love god and Jesus was the son of 'god', or visa versa.

:wink: