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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, i've been lurking on this website for a few months now and i actually feel bad about the fact that i made a account. Anyway, i live in a awful despair evrryday so i have to make this post.
So, first a little bit about my story:
8 months ago i took ectasy on a party, everything was fine during the party, after the party i felt sick so i slept it off. The next 2 daya after the party i had a really rough day working (this work day was really stressing) on the third day after the party; i was cleaning up my room and suddenly out of nowhere i had this feeling that i couldn't breathe and i freaked out and i went to my mom and she told me that i had a panic attack. The panic attack lasted for 5 minutes of so, after the panic attack i felt different and i felt extremely hopeless. I couldn't eat, i didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. This goes on for 2 weeks: had no appetite, i was sleeping next to my mom because i couldn't sleep alone, i lost all interest in life. Now, fast forward 8 months later and this is what i'm experiencing:

- i feel extremely disconnected from my own house and from other fimilair places
- i have anxiety symptoms (fast hearbeat, dry mouth, cold body, etc
- 24/7 questions about DR ( i don't have existential questions at all) i only experience questions about recovery and DR and i compare myself with stories of others ALL THE TIME
- being outside feels weird, sometimes i hide myself behind my phone because i get anxious when i look around. This is very hard to describe because i know that everything is real and it feels real but i feel extremely disconnected and anxious

Many many many people have helped me in this 8 months and i have a huge group of support around me but i still question if it's DR and i fear that i have something else because i can't relate with anyone :( i have this feeling that i'm going crazy all day long... i cry everyday (i still feel emotions) but i have so many thoughts that i don't even know what i'm thinking. I live in despair everyday and the anxiety is becoming worse. I'm doing all the opposite things.... i'm on this website everyday, i still read about it, talk about it and i search for anwsers. I've always been super insecure and i always had a hard time on trusting in myself. I've always compared myself with everyone and i had this feeling that i couldn't do things on my own.

I feel so delressed and i live in despar everyday and i don't even know what to do with my life because this is how it is now... can ANYONE relate with my symptoms?? I don't know what the hell this is
 

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I can completely relate however I’ve gotten my anxiety under control. My depression is severe these days because of life circumstances and the fact that I can only feel negative emotions. I’m just Waiting on a miracle and searching for some treatment possibility.
 

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Hi Justaquickrelieve,

To me it sounds like you are experiencing DR. I too have always had insecurities and thinking I am not good enough or able to do things that other people do. I"ve also had problems with anxiety my whole life and started having DR/DP symptoms when I was 13. I'm 45 now so for the majority of my life I've lived with this on off through the years. Usually after a death or traumatic event in my life or even just drama from family sometimes. I try and avoid drama at all costs because it Are you seeing a Psychiatrist? or maybe a Psychologist? I do hope you feel better.

((hugs))
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi Justaquickrelieve,

To me it sounds like you are experiencing DR. I too have always had insecurities and thinking I am not good enough or able to do things that other people do. I"ve also had problems with anxiety my whole life and started having DR/DP symptoms when I was 13. I'm 45 now so for the majority of my life I've lived with this on off through the years. Usually after a death or traumatic event in my life or even just drama from family sometimes. I try and avoid drama at all costs because it Are you seeing a Psychiatrist? or maybe a Psychologist? I do hope you feel better.

((hugs))
Hi, okay. I'm not sure if it's DR... my feelings for my loved ones are also slowly dissapearing :( i feel so hopeless and yes i am in therapy with my pschologist.
 

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I'm sorry you are feeling this way
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You definately don't deserve it. It sounds like you are having a tough time of it. Just be honest with your Therapist and talk it out. I'll tell you a little about my experiences with DR and DP. It sounds like you might be getting obsessive about these feelings you are having. Depression and Anxiety make this worse. I think you will find that a lot of us have the same or similar symptoms. The thing you mentioned about your feelings and emotions towards your family sounds familiar to me.

When I go a long time with DR and DP I start to feel like I'm disappearing. I have difficulty actually feeling anything as if my emotions are being sucked away. I often feel like I am being swallowed up by a deep hole and I see things happening from far away or like there is this sheet that is separating me from the world and the people who love me. I also feel like my love for my family has been muffled or hijacked. My head feels numb as well as my body and my senses of taste, touch, smell and vision is very messed up. It feels like I'm touching a dead body when I touch my arms and face. I feel like I am smothering when I eat and my sense of smell is just gone. My hands when I look at them doesn't look like my hands like they don't belong to me and I worry about what has happened to my body. I remember worrying as a teenager that I was already dead and I was in Hell. I still have thoughts like that sometimes. Its important to know that you are not alone in this. I hope you have family or friends that are supportive.

Blessings to you. I hope you feel better soon.

Laura
 

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I had a big panic attack 1.5 years ago and was completely fucked up for several months and still feel it a bit . I know what you are going through and I also have the disconnection especially to my family
 
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