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Iv had this twice before but Iv never had such little motivation to do ANYTHING before like I do this time. I don't want to get out of bed or even really open my eyes. Plus my eyes are so tired all of the time ( it's happened every time with this). Everything seems like such a huge chore. The big problem with that is I'm having my first baby in two months ... Iv always wanted this baby and now I'm scared to death. I'm always loved being on the go and now I can't do a thing. How do I make this go away ? (yes I know million dollar question) but if Iv made it go away twice before it should go away again right ?

The only thing I can tie my recoveries to is paxil. First time I didn't even try medication but after started paxil my mood got alOt better and a few months later I snapped out of dpdr. I had a good 5 years and then got off paxil because I was try to get pregnant. Within a month I got anxious and depressed again and two weeks after that dpdr came back so I got back on paxil ( was also on Wellbutrin ) and within a week or 2 my mood was better and within a month my dpdr was gone. I stayed in paxil and Wellbutrin until I actually got pregnant and went on a small amount of zoloft. I did well on zoloft until 18 weeks pregnant and then got anxiety and ocd and by 21 weeks and upping zoloft I got dpdr again. My doctor put me on paxil again since it always worked but after 5 weeks it did literally nothing so I got even not scared and depressed, they put me on Prozac and that also did nothing so almost a week ago they put me back on paxil and Wellbutrin, I'm not sure why but I'm prayed it somehow works because paxil was always my saving grace before this time. I'm not sure if my brain chemistry is different during pregnancy or why it's not working this time. I know a week isn't long enough but 5 weeks was definitely enough time for at least me to feel better on it. I'm scared for my life because I know I can't take care of my baby or be happy with this. I wouldn't have gotten pregnant if I thought This would come back. I don't know if it just randomly decided to go away both times or if it was the medication or what. I'm not sure if paxil isn't working because of pregnancy or if it's the hormones that are causing this. I just know I can't take this or the unknown anymore with another life in the mix
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