[kalinka]

i am struggeling a lot with the feeling that i don't have free will, because everything feels so automatic and "without me". because of that i can't stop looking for my self inside and then i get very scared because i can't find it.

out of that i constantly have the fear that it was always like that. that i have lived my whole life on autopilot, that i had never free will, that there was never a self -i just didn't notice it. and therefore (because i notice it now) i will never be able to go back to my old state... does anyone feel the same? has anyone recovered from this and has some helpful hints?

 

[Thisisnotlife]

yes. I think this all happened because i really started believe that here is no free will for me and others are telling me everything. And then they wants only bad for me so creating only things what i dont want. its like im living in oppisite life i truly want. i feel like i dont have free will to choose who i wanna be. and then im acting hopeless and thinking how others can be happy.. this life is only suffering??!