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The title says it all. I'm on meds for my generalized anxiety disorder, for sleeping, and I also have some auditory hallucinations which has started recently. I am taking Seroquel for the auditory stuff. Buspar and Klonopin for anxiety and zoloft for my depression.

I also take Prazosin for my nightmares which helps me when I can actually sleep. Sometimes I just cannot sleep. I believe It will never end for me. I'm unraveling I feel a little more each day. I've just learned to accept that it is never going to go away.

I'm not suicidal so I'm okay there. I could never do that to my family. but sometimes I just want to run away maybe and just check myself into a hospital and stay. Thats how I feel anyway. Not to mention the stress of having a 19 year old son who has schizophrenia/bipolar doesn't help my mental state. I am in a constant state of anxiety it seems. It is what it is.

Edit: Also, I wanted to add that It has been awhile since I last posted. but I've been here for a minute.

Since it has been a long while since I posted anything I'm going to tell my story. years ago I tried to figure out what was wrong with me when I came across a blog that explained exactly how I felt because back then Doctors just thought I was making stuff up. I was 13 when my Dissociation problems began (I am 48 now) and they would last for days and days. The first time it happened was in January right before my 13th birthday. I tried to explain it to my mother which worried her and started a series of doctor appointments. The first Doctor told my mom and dad that I would be institutionalized by the time I was 18. Mom and Dad never took me back to that doctor thank goodness. they found another doctor a neurologist named Henry C. Goodman in Ashland, Ky. Who had no idea what was causing this. I got so tired of explaining it to people. I just wanted it to go away. Then my doc put me in the hospital for a whole bunch of tests. I can't even remember them all. EEG's, brain scans, the works. I was in the hospital for a month. They had no idea what was causing me to feel the way I was feeling. So they started me on different medications. the last one they put me on was tegretol used to treat epilepsy and since that helped me a little even though I still had these "spells" several times a week at least it wasn't all the time. So they slapped an epilepsy diagnosis on me and we went on my way. I took this medicine for years with varying dosages as I grew older. Then when I married and moved away I kind of stopped the medicine when I got pregnant and my "spells" sort of stopped unless there was some sort of stress involved which was infrequent at the time because I was newly married and expecting a baby. I was extremely happy with my new life. Then little bit by little bit I had my spells on and off through the years however they soon came back full force as I got older. I've always had anxiety saw psychologists on and off through the years but now it was really bad so I though well my epilepsy is back. So I went to a neurologist and he did some testing. talked to me having me explain my "spells" to him and after MRI, and several EEG's he told me I needed to see a psychologist or psychiatrist because what I was experiencing was Dissociation. This was the first I heard about this. He basically told me that I had to have been misdiagnosed all those years ago. So I went home got online and started researching and found a blog about DP/DR and it was like reading something I had wrote myself. the way he explained it was exactly how I felt so I started digging more and found this forum and started treatment with counseling and treatment for my anxiety with medications. I still have issues with DP/DR and right now I am in deep. I don't feel like I will ever escape out of my dream reality and wonder if this is just how I am now. So that is me now.

blessings to you all.
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