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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Everyday seems to get worst I don’t feel like I belong to my body everything seems so new. I’m scared to be around too many faces they freak me out all the BS going on in the world it scares me it just doesn’t feel real. I’m scared that I’m going crazy, I have had this thought about becoming schizophrenic or getting Alzheimer’s and that I will be fully out of it. I don’t like being around people but than again I feel more sane seeing people do normal people stuff, I can’t even speak properly it’s hard to have a normal conversation because in my head I’m always overthinking and than asking myself is this real?! I try so hard to not think about it but it’s hard. I’m just really scared it feels like I’m looking thru little windows aka my eyes and this all feels so new. I space out a lot and the only thing that keeps me not think is watching movies or tv but than I got to work and take care of my daughter and live life and that’s when these obsessive thoughts come around and I question everything. All I see is my hands typing this message in my room and it just seems unreal idk I can’t ever describe how I truly feel and it sucks. I’m just scared
 

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Try meds and don't listen to the bullshit people say about meds.One of them out there will help you.They all blabber about "trauma" and to accept it.All studies support the neurological cause of dpdr you don't have to just "accept".The earlier you treat your symptoms the better.
 

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Try meds and don't listen to the bullshit people say about meds.One of them out there will help you.They all blabber about "trauma" and to accept it.All studies support the neurological cause of dpdr you don't have to just "accept".The earlier you treat your symptoms the better.
Lol, it’s not actual meds that are the problem. It’s thinking what they need to do is search for the right medication. If you suffer for no reason then why? But an already neurotic mind would rather do anything than look at the problem of their own thought, because it’s thought itself telling them what it is, and it’s that very same thought which is keeping you anxious. You might not realize this fact but if your mind really IS quiet then you wouldn’t be suffering.
 

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Lol, it’s not actual meds that are the problem. It’s the fact that anyone may really think what they need to do is search for the right medication. If you suffer for no reason then why? But an already neurotic mind would rather do anything than look at the problem of their own thought, because it’s thought itself telling them what it is, and it’s that very same thought which is keeping you anxious. You might not realize this fact but if your mind really IS quiet then you wouldn’t be suffering.
Yeah, when my mind is quit I can sense all the joy of life, but when is my mind quiet ? Rarely now, before dp I was more calm than a monk.Nothing speaks against changes in the brain that cause the mind to be "neurotic".If drugs can cause this, then it's clear that there is a neurological change.Have you read the latest study about schizophrenia ? It is the dopamine autoreceptor that is malfunctioning and does not sense where there is too much dopamine to put the breaks on.And that happens at the presynaptic level.I don't believe that any amount of talk therapy and distraction can change that except when these autoreceptors are modified.And it seems like dpdr has a mechanism too that causes something to fire unregulated constantly(glutamate dysfunction probably ?).But thr good news for the schizophrenics is that in 2024 they will have 2 new medications that target this.Maybe we can hope for the same with dpdr.
 

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Yeah, when my mind is quit I can sense all the joy of life, but when is my mind quiet ? Rarely now, before dp I was more calm than a monk.Nothing speaks against changes in the brain that cause the mind to be "neurotic".If drugs can cause this, then it's clear that there is a neurological change.Have you read the latest study about schizophrenia ? It is the dopamine autoreceptor that is malfunctioning and does not sense where there is too much dopamine to put the breaks on.And that happens at the presynaptic level.I don't believe that any amount of talk therapy and distraction can change that except when these autoreceptors are modified.And it seems like dpdr has a mechanism too that causes something to fire unregulated constantly(glutamate dysfunction probably ?).But thr good news for the schizophrenics is that in 2024 they will have 2 new medications that target this.Maybe we can hope for the same with dpdr.
So you’re using scientific knowledge to justify that something happening inside your OWN consciousnesss is impossible to change? Letting ideals do the work for you, that’s so illusory, to really think it’s not possible to transform yourself. It’s YOUR consciousness dude, you are the consciousness. So what do you do? Don’t answer, don’t escape the question, but face it. If you hide from the fact then you’ll never be beyond the real reason your “autoreceptor” is malfunctioning, if it is then that autoreceptor isnt separate from you. The fact of whatever is happening is not according to scientific knowledge because that isn’t seeing your own consciousness. You are 100% relevant to you, what you do in your brain is never irrelevant, just because some ideal you carry around your brain said otherwise
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Try meds and don't listen to the bullshit people say about meds.One of them out there will help you.They all blabber about "trauma" and to accept it.All studies support the neurological cause of dpdr you don't have to just "accept".The earlier you treat your symptoms the better.
What kind of meds ? I see my psychiatrist and it just seems like she always ignores this problem since there’s so much wrong with me. Lol I have been through a lot in life but I have never blamed those reasons as to why I am the way I am and maybe that’s my problem idk.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Lol, it’s not actual meds that are the problem. It’s thinking what they need to do is search for the right medication. If you suffer for no reason then why? But an already neurotic mind would rather do anything than look at the problem of their own thought, because it’s thought itself telling them what it is, and it’s that very same thought which is keeping you anxious. You might not realize this fact but if your mind really IS quiet then you wouldn’t be suffering.
I feeel like my mind is blank a lot of times and then poof I’m in middle of something and I get panicky and I start overthinking where I am or who I’m with and I think wtf is this real, I space out a lot it’s hard to remember things I been working at my job for over a year and I don’t remember anyone’s names lol maybe just like 2 or 3. I don’t know it’s either I’m overthinking everything possible or I’m just like this robot doing every day tasks on repeat. I scare myself a lot of times from the thoughts that are in my head. I was driving and I’m like how did I get here it like what is time
 

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I feeel like my mind is blank a lot of times and then poof I’m in middle of something and I get panicky and I start overthinking where I am or who I’m with and I think wtf is this real, I space out a lot it’s hard to remember things I been working at my job for over a year and I don’t remember anyone’s names lol maybe just like 2 or 3. I don’t know it’s either I’m overthinking everything possible or I’m just like this robot doing every day tasks on repeat. I scare myself a lot of times from the thoughts that are in my head. I was driving and I’m like how did I get here it like what is time
I’m going to send you a message… it will get better!
 

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Try meds and don't listen to the bullshit people say about meds.One of them out there will help you.They all blabber about "trauma" and to accept it.All studies support the neurological cause of dpdr you don't have to just "accept".The earlier you treat your symptoms the better.
absolutely bullshit brother. millions of people recovered without any medication from dpdr. and yeah, repetitive minor trauma experiences throughout childhood with toxic shame and disorganized attachment (to the mother), low self esteem, self hatred, and being emotional sensitive and overly empathetic are the exact reasons why someone can get dpdr at some point at his life. hence the life of someone with the issues mentioned above would be shitty anyway. i had have severe dpdr between 2011-2014 but my emotional, painful experiences were harder for me than the dpdr episode. i dont want to say anything about psychmeds on this forum because it could really help. and some people are maybe in the need of them because they just want to feel a relief. but in my opinion if you add meds in your journey to recovery, you just prevent your brain from getting actually better.
 
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absolutely bullshit brother. millions of people recovered without any medication from dpdr. and yeah, repetitive minor trauma experiences throughout childhood with toxic shame and disorganized attachment (to the mother), low self esteem, self hatred, and being emotional sensitive and overly empathetic are the exact reasons why someone can get dpdr at some point at his life. hence the life of someone with the issues mentioned above would be shitty anyway. i had have severe dpdr between 2011-2014 but my emotional, painful experiences were harder for me than the dpdr episode. i dont want to say anything about psychmeds on this forum because it could really help. and some people are maybe in the need of them because they just want to feel a relief. but in my opinion if you add meds in your journey to recovery, you just prevent your brain from getting actually better.
I think it depends on people, on the problem they have, on the meds they are taking and on the quantity. Even if meds cannot give you self esteem (and maybe they could in some cases, because fake experiences under hypnosis can to some extent, so why not experiences under meds, plus they can put you in a state of mind where you have the energy to explore better ways of thinking for example) they can make you feel temporarily better, and for some people it makes their problem manageable enough that they can work on it better. That's what they do with people who are in deep depression. There is no use doing therapy when you brain is working so much against you that you can't even think about what you are doing there. But if people take meds in order to get rid of the problem permanently and don't work on their problems it might work against them indeed. Or when the meds have bad effects on them, or course.
If I could have a medicine that would reduce my DPDR a lot for even just one hour, I would not consider it a cure but I would definitely take it regularly, first just because it's great to not have DPDR even just for an hour, and also because I would be interested to see how different I would think, and I would like to get familiar again with not having DPDR, because perhaps it could make it easier to fall in that track again without the meds.
 

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I think it depends on people, on the problem they have, on the meds they are taking and on the quantity. Even if meds cannot give you self esteem (and maybe they could in some cases, because fake experiences under hypnosis can to some extent, so why not experiences under meds, plus they can put you in a state of mind where you have the energy to explore better ways of thinking for example) they can make you feel temporarily better, and for some people it makes their problem manageable enough that they can work on it better. That's what they do with people who are in deep depression. There is no use doing therapy when you brain is working so much against you that you can't even think about what you are doing there. But if people take meds in order to get rid of the problem permanently and don't work on their problems it might work against them indeed. Or when the meds have bad effects on them, or course.
If I could have a medicine that would reduce my DPDR a lot for even just one hour, I would not consider it a cure but I would definitely take it regularly, first just because it's great to not have DPDR even just for an hour, and also because I would be interested to see how different I would think, and I would like to get familiar again with not having DPDR, because perhaps it could make it easier to fall in that track again without the meds.
thats the big difference between us. i dont see dpdr as something i need to get rid off, let alone having the wish to only reducing the symptoms for 1 hour. imho only people who mystifies the experience and dramatize everything around it do think like that. i am 100 percent ready and i literally dare it to live my life with this condition. and that will be (maybe) the long term solution. to just embrace everything, and dont seeing it as an enemy. maybe im wrong, but i would just waste time with finding answers. maybe im just lucky, but life is bearable. i can function like a normal humanbeing. only thing is my emotional world is grey. its blunted. but fuck it. i once gave my therapist this instance. my life is like eating pasta without parmesan cheese. you will miss the cheese but it will fed you up anyway. it is like a child is crying because of getting gifted the black iphone instead of the white. this is my sight of these things.
 
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thats the big difference between us. i dont see dpdr as something i need to get rid off, let alone having the wish to only reducing the symptoms for 1 hour. imho only people who mystifies the experience and dramatize everything around it do think like that. i am 100 percent ready and i literally dare it to live my life with this condition. and that will be (maybe) the long term solution. to just embrace everything, and dont seeing it as an enemy. maybe im wrong, but i would just waste time with finding answers. maybe im just lucky, but life is bearable. i can function like a normal humanbeing. only thing is my emotional world is grey. its blunted. but fuck it. i once gave my therapist this instance. my life is like eating pasta without parmesan cheese. you will miss the cheese but it will fed you up anyway. it is like a child is crying because of getting gifted the black iphone instead of the white. this is my sight of these things.
Depersonalization shouldn’t be treated as a “thing” to be altered. I am not separate from my disorder, me and my problem are actually one, so people may point out the various manifestations of mental illness but the moment we focus on one “thing” is the moment we throw out everything else relevant. The information gathered during analysis is limited and only relevant to what is being analyzed. Meanwhile our “problem” is one that spans across the entire spectrum of human condition, so the people that call themselves specialists aren’t really concerned with the entire condition of man are they? The world operates in fragments
 

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thats the big difference between us. i dont see dpdr as something i need to get rid off, let alone having the wish to only reducing the symptoms for 1 hour. imho only people who mystifies the experience and dramatize everything around it do think like that. i am 100 percent ready and i literally dare it to live my life with this condition. and that will be (maybe) the long term solution. to just embrace everything, and dont seeing it as an enemy. maybe im wrong, but i would just waste time with finding answers. maybe im just lucky, but life is bearable. i can function like a normal humanbeing. only thing is my emotional world is grey. its blunted. but fuck it. i once gave my therapist this instance. my life is like eating pasta without parmesan cheese. you will miss the cheese but it will fed you up anyway. it is like a child is crying because of getting gifted the black iphone instead of the white. this is my sight of these things.
I’m starting to have more of this take. After having it at my worse within the last 6 months, as bad as the thoughts got and everything I experienced, I’m still here, I’m still me. My emotions may not feel like they are totally there but aye it could be worse and I still function on a daily basis, even though things get tough.
 

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thats the big difference between us. i dont see dpdr as something i need to get rid off, let alone having the wish to only reducing the symptoms for 1 hour. imho only people who mystifies the experience and dramatize everything around it do think like that. i am 100 percent ready and i literally dare it to live my life with this condition. and that will be (maybe) the long term solution. to just embrace everything, and dont seeing it as an enemy. maybe im wrong, but i would just waste time with finding answers. maybe im just lucky, but life is bearable. i can function like a normal humanbeing. only thing is my emotional world is grey. its blunted. but fuck it. i once gave my therapist this instance. my life is like eating pasta without parmesan cheese. you will miss the cheese but it will fed you up anyway. it is like a child is crying because of getting gifted the black iphone instead of the white. this is my sight of these things.
Yes, I think I actually agree with you 90%. I think it is possible to want to change and still live the present fully. Like you can want to travel around the world one day (random example), even if you can't afford it yet you can do what you can to maybe be able to do it in the future. But at the same time that does not necessarily mean it will prevent you from enjoying what you are doing in the present to 100%. It is definitely possible to fall in a state of mind where that dream of a trip makes you completely absorbed to the point you don't enjoy anything else anymore until you have achieved it. But I don't think it is necessarily like that. Life is always about wanting things and I don't think it is necessarily unhealthy. I think you can want something, believe it is possible or impossible to get it regardless, and still enjoy the present fully. Actually I think it is more about choosing to live things 100% rather than enjoying them per se, although it is similar because living negative things 100% might be more enjoyable anyway than full DPDR in some cases. I have had very uncomfortable emotions or sensations and I think I have been a lot in that state of mind during my life, thinking that "once I will have changed this, finally I will be able to enjoy my life". This does apply to feeling anxiety but not only. Now I prefer to try to feel 100% everything that comes, even if I don't enjoy it. It's like there are no emotions that need to be kicked out and others that must be accepted. Personally, I feel that comparing myself to a spoiled child who cries because he had the black iphone instead of the white one is a little harsh. For me it feels like judging some emotions, thinking they are stupid and that we want to separate ourselves from them instead of living them without a filter. Choosing to feel the "stupid emotion" instead of distancing myself from it.
I think I can't want to be connected with my positive emotions and at the same time judge myself and want to separate from the negative ones. I think I need to choose to let them all in without a filter (guilt, shame, hating DR, weird perceptions, etc.), thinking "this is life now and this is what I want", without pre-checking them to see if I want each of them or not, somehow sorting them in a mental SAS and then only feeling them. For me, removing the filter means I don't decide to feel them or not feel them, I want to feel them directly and now whatever they are. I don't want to be tough, "fight it" and ignore the pain, as many people seem to deal with difficult situations. This is what I have been trying to do all along. What I want to do now is feel the pain, the happiness, the sadness, the frustration at DPDRor at myself, my half perceptions etc. Essentially this is also what you are saying, if you have half perceptions, live them 100% (I could put this on a bumper sticker).
I feel this has actually been helping me for a few weeks. I wanted to write more about this but I prefer to wait and see if this keeps helping me or if I am just mistaken and will forget about it in two weeks thinking it was just another illusion.
 
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