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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
yeah, in 3 months I’ve been hospitalised at least 15 times, I have been to the psych-ward once for a few days… I was going okay for a week now I’m back in my bed unable to function, eat, or even shit… my grandparents put a bucket in my room so I could urinate in it because I’m scared that if I leave my room somehow I will forget everything, lose my mind and be back in the hospital…

I have tendencies to keep calling the ambulance to assure myself that they’re real and if I don’t call them I question if I was ever in the hospital and I fear going there because of all the noise, lights and people + I have fantasies about how I would call them and image the scene.

I have come to a conclusion that I am somewhat psychotic in the head.

I don’t see myself getting any further with this.
 

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yeah, in 3 months I’ve been hospitalised at least 15 times, I have been to the psych-ward once for a few days… I was going okay for a week now I’m back in my bed unable to function, eat, or even shit… my grandparents put a bucket in my room so I could urinate in it because I’m scared that if I leave my room somehow I will forget everything, lose my mind and be back in the hospital…

I have tendencies to keep calling the ambulance to assure myself that they’re real and if I don’t call them I question if I was ever in the hospital and I fear going there because of all the noise, lights and people + I have fantasies about how I would call them and image the scene.

I have come to a conclusion that I am somewhat psychotic in the head.

I don’t see myself getting any further with this.
Please have hope and endure. I was too on my last rope and didn't know what to do six months ago, felt like nothing was real, I slept most of the time and as soon as i woke up i wanted to sleep again but somehow (I really didn't have hope then, I don't know how it got better but it did). I feel like living again. I still do have episodes like darkened vision, like brightness had gone off but I ignore them and they go away. Everything starts and ends in your mind, you just have to trick your mind (sorry If I sound like a mainstream emotional speaker). But really, I went from no emotions and reactions to anything at all, to yelling on the street 3 hours ago XD.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Please have hope and endure. I was too on my last rope and didn't know what to do six months ago, felt like nothing was real, I slept most of the time and as soon as i woke up i wanted to sleep again but somehow (I really didn't have hope then, I don't know how it got better but it did). I feel like living again. I still do have episodes like darkened vision, like brightness had gone off but I ignore them and they go away. Everything starts and ends in your mind, you just have to trick your mind (sorry If I sound like a mainstream emotional speaker). But really, I went from no emotions and reactions to anything at all, to yelling on the street 3 hours ago XD.
I’m so jealous…ugh have a blast!
 

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My honest advice would to be for you to ignore how you are doing in your mind and think of some actual positives that exist in your life. Things that have nothing to do with your mind but that you have to be thankful for.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
My honest advice would to be for you to ignore how you are doing in your mind and think of some actual positives that exist in your life. Things that have nothing to do with your mind but that you have to be thankful for.
I understand where you’re coming from, although I can’t view anything as positive even though it is, it’s like my perception has altered to everything.

When you can’t feel nothing except pure terror how can you revert to optimism or be grateful.

I’m not pure ungrateful, I understand there are less fortunate people and beyond my mind there are actually people in a worse mental state, but one thing I’ve learned is that my basic cognitive ability to reflect on those is not there… so goodbye to ‘me’
 

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I understand where you’re coming from, although I can’t view anything as positive even though it is, it’s like my perception has altered to everything.

When you can’t feel nothing except pure terror how can you revert to optimism or be grateful.

I’m not pure ungrateful, I understand there are less fortunate people and beyond my mind there are actually people in a worse mental state, but one thing I’ve learned is that my basic cognitive ability to reflect on those is not there… so goodbye to ‘me’
i completely understand. You can’t be grateful in the mind state you’re in. But because this is all thought based problems you’re dealing with, if you DECIDED to be grateful, it could flip your thoughts upside down (in agood way)
 

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In the one hand it's true that some of these advices can be useful and it would be a pity to not give them if they can help someone, and on the other hand I understand what ThoughtOnFire's comic strip is saying, when you get a piece of advice that is impossible to apply in your situation this can feel invalidating. I think it's a tricky question.
What is for sure invalidation is to have the other person say they cannot apply it and pretend you know better than them what they should or can do.

I think I have often have conflicts here around this question.

Saying "you should do that" or "you can do that" means that you assume you have some control over the situation. This is a good way to fight feelings of powerlessness that can feed depression.

But in the other hand, thinking that you are in control and witnessing again and again that you still don't get the results you want can also increase feelings of dispair, because you keep thinking that you are the only solution and apparently you are not enough. For this problem, feeling that you are not in control can help reaching acceptance, which is kind of the end of the grieving process, and is also said to help with DPDR.

I don't think the good solution is either control or no control, but each person meets different obstacles on their way and the solution can be different depending on the obstacles. And two persons meeting an obstacle that looks the same don't necessarily need the same solution. If being in control has worked for me for years, that doesn't necessarily mean that every person I meet on my way should learn from me because it will solve their problem too. From my own experience, I have been in total control for years. Every problem I met I thought I would solve it with my mind by finding a special trick because I thought I thought deeper than others, and maybe it worked more or less for a big portion of my life. And even if it was not ideal I was doing it with such a force that I was still getting some result, or at least I thought so. But in DPDR I met an exception, because I think that controlling mind was then part of the problem because it did make me obsess about DPDR, but still it was the only thing I could do because it was the only muscle I had ever trained.

Anyway, even if some piece of advice is good, how you say it also matters. If you give a potential solution to someone, it can sound like you share some hope with them, or it can sound like "here is a potential solution, and I know for sure it works, so if it doesn't work in your case then you must be doing it wrong so it's your fault if you are where you are now". This is textbook invalidation, and I have read that literally many times on the forum. A lot of pep talks aim at making people feel they are in control if they just push harder, but it doesn't help if thinking you are in control is part of the problem.

And even if you share some hope with someone, it is so easy to use that to not listen to them because you are afraid of your own powerlessness or something like that. I think validating someone means you make them more comfortable with their present situation, which is often a first condition before any advice can be received. And very often no advice is necessary because people have already heard all the advice they need but just need to be accepted for where they are before they can move on. Sometimes 15 people not accepting where you are and trying to make you move push you further into depression, and one person accepting where you are allows you to move on.
 

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I never invalidated his or anyone’s pain here so if your comment is aimed at me then your analogy is just plain wrong. Plus the flu isn’t a mind problem.
For this I'm not sure it necessarily makes a big difference. It's not because it is in our mind that it is necessarily easier to fix.
If it is actually very difficult to fix, and you erroneously tell someone that it should be easier than it actually is, then it's invalidating in my opinion.
 

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For this I'm not sure it necessarily makes a big difference. It's not because it is in our mind that it is necessarily easier to fix.
If it is actually very difficult to fix, and you erroneously tell someone that it should be easier than it actually is, then it's invalidating in my opinion.
No It’s not necessarily easier I agree, but the 2 cannot be compared. On the one hand (the mind), the problem is you. Neuroticness, deranged, disorder. On the other hand (the flu), the problem is your body. Not controllable like the mind. I suffer from detachment immensely everyday, and even though I don’t blame myself I know it is a matter of me having the cure. If I was strong, i would just up up and away.
 

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No It’s not necessarily easier I agree, but the 2 cannot be compared. On the one hand (the mind), the problem is you. Neuroticness, deranged, disorder. On the other hand (the flu), the problem is your body. Not controllable like the mind. I suffer from detachment immensely everyday, and even though I don’t blame myself I know it is a matter of me having the cure. If I was strong, i would just up up and away.
So this is exactly what I mean and this is what the drawing means. It's exactly on point. It's not because it's in the mind that it is virtual and you necessarily have control over it. And it doesn't mean that if you cannot solve the problem you are not strong. Telling this to someone who has a mental disorder can be really hurtful.

You could say the same about your body. Your body is you too, it's a very DPDR thing to say the opposite, and to some extent you can also say that "if you were strong" you could deadlift 200 kg. But sometimes you can't even if you want to. And maybe some people have disabilities and will never be able to deadlift 200 kg in their lives and they have to find their own way of solving the problem (That analogy is not so good), and some will never solve the problem. The point of the drawing is to say that we are not all the same in our minds at any time and the problem with the mind is that the problems you can have are invisible to others. But this doesn't mean you can make them disappear. They are problems that can be as real as the problems you have with your body.

I have a little mood disorder and when I was in my twenties I had multiple mood switches in one month and they could be very strong. And I knew at that time I had a mood disorder, and I knew my mind was just tricking me. When I had a depressive episode it could last something around one week, and I thought my life was over, I had suicidal thoughts, and I really believe them, it was very hard. But still, before the episode started I could feel it coming. I knew what it was, I thought "it's just brain chemistry", "it's an illusion, I went through this countless times and I know it is not true", "i know exactly what is going to happen in a few minutes and I need to get prepared and not believe what my mind is going to tell me". And then I felt it coming, I could fight it for one minute, but not more, i was not in control anymore in less than one minute and I promise it wasn't a matter of strength. one minute was almost impossible and there was no chance I could fight this for a while week. When my mind had decided I was going to have a depressive episode there was nothing I could do (or very little), even if I had experience about it and I know what it was. "Knowing" about it was not helping. And if you have never been through that you can think you have control over it and others have control too.
But if your brain doesn't produce enough let's say serotonin, you cannot produce it through wishful thinking, and it will definitely have important consequences on how you function. If you think the mind can do everything you are the one being tricked by that illusion.
That's like drinking a bottle of vodka and thinking you can "not be drunk" if you try hard enough because it's all in your mind. Just like you cannot make ethanol disappear from your body through wishful thinking, you cannot make THC disappear, just like you cannot necessarily fix your brain into producing the right amount of serotonin or dopamine. And you brain cannot function properly without those. Our mind needs a functioning physical brain to function properly. Not that you cannot find any solutions or workarounds to some extent, but it's not like our thoughts are in a virtual ether, completely detached from our bodies and brain chemistry.
 

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So this is exactly what I mean and this is what the drawing means. It's exactly on point. It's not because it's in the mind that it is virtual and you necessarily have control over it. And it doesn't mean that if you cannot solve the problem you are not strong. Telling this to someone who has a mental disorder can be really hurtful.

You could say the same about your body. Your body is you too, it's a very DPDR thing to say the opposite, and to some extent you can also say that "if you were strong" you could deadlift 200 kg. But sometimes you can't even if you want to. And maybe some people have disabilities and will never be able to deadlift 200 kg in their lives and they have to find their own way of solving the problem (That analogy is not so good), and some will never solve the problem. The point of the drawing is to say that we are not all the same in our minds at any time and the problem with the mind is that the problems you can have are invisible to others. But this doesn't mean you can make them disappear. They are problems that can be as real as the problems you have with your body.

I have a little mood disorder and when I was in my twenties I had multiple mood switches in one month and they could be very strong. And I knew at that time I had a mood disorder, and I knew my mind was just tricking me. When I had a depressive episode it could last something around one week, and I thought my life was over, I had suicidal thoughts, and I really believe them, it was very hard. But still, before the episode started I could feel it coming. I knew what it was, I thought "it's just brain chemistry", "it's an illusion, I went through this countless times and I know it is not true", "i know exactly what is going to happen in a few minutes and I need to get prepared and not believe what my mind is going to tell me". And then I felt it coming, I could fight it for one minute, but not more, i was not in control anymore in less than one minute and I promise it wasn't a matter of strength. one minute was almost impossible and there was no chance I could fight this for a while week. When my mind had decided I was going to have a depressive episode there was nothing I could do (or very little), even if I had experience about it and I know what it was. "Knowing" about it was not helping. And if you have never been through that you can think you have control over it and others have control too.
But if your brain doesn't produce enough let's say serotonin, you cannot produce it through wishful thinking, and it will definitely have important consequences on how you function. If you think the mind can do everything you are the one being tricked by that illusion.
That's like drinking a bottle of vodka and thinking you can "not be drunk" if you try hard enough because it's all in your mind. Just like you cannot make ethanol disappear from your body through wishful thinking, you cannot make THC disappear, just like you cannot necessarily fix your brain into producing the right amount of serotonin or dopamine. And you brain cannot function properly without those. Our mind needs a functioning physical brain to function properly. Not that you cannot find any solutions or workarounds to some extent, but it's not like our thoughts are in a virtual ether, completely detached from our bodies and brain chemistry.
i think we have to separate between dpdr and other mental illness. i said this once already, but bipolar disorder or schizophrenia dont have a high rate of spontaneous recovery as dpdr. so this implies me that dpdr in special have very much to do with beliefs and thinking style. you can not put all mental illness together. some people get panic attacks from drugs but when the drug is out of the blood everything goes back to normal while other people become dpd afterwards. i was living in a drug community, all my friends did drugs. when they had panic attacks or paranoia i asked them how they could stay so calm the next day as if it never happened. the answer was always „i just didnt ruminate, i knew it was just the effect of the drug
 

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So this is exactly what I mean and this is what the drawing means. It's exactly on point. It's not because it's in the mind that it is virtual and you necessarily have control over it. And it doesn't mean that if you cannot solve the problem you are not strong. Telling this to someone who has a mental disorder can be really hurtful.

You could say the same about your body. Your body is you too, it's a very DPDR thing to say the opposite, and to some extent you can also say that "if you were strong" you could deadlift 200 kg. But sometimes you can't even if you want to. And maybe some people have disabilities and will never be able to deadlift 200 kg in their lives and they have to find their own way of solving the problem (That analogy is not so good), and some will never solve the problem. The point of the drawing is to say that we are not all the same in our minds at any time and the problem with the mind is that the problems you can have are invisible to others. But this doesn't mean you can make them disappear. They are problems that can be as real as the problems you have with your body.

I have a little mood disorder and when I was in my twenties I had multiple mood switches in one month and they could be very strong. And I knew at that time I had a mood disorder, and I knew my mind was just tricking me. When I had a depressive episode it could last something around one week, and I thought my life was over, I had suicidal thoughts, and I really believe them, it was very hard. But still, before the episode started I could feel it coming. I knew what it was, I thought "it's just brain chemistry", "it's an illusion, I went through this countless times and I know it is not true", "i know exactly what is going to happen in a few minutes and I need to get prepared and not believe what my mind is going to tell me". And then I felt it coming, I could fight it for one minute, but not more, i was not in control anymore in less than one minute and I promise it wasn't a matter of strength. one minute was almost impossible and there was no chance I could fight this for a while week. When my mind had decided I was going to have a depressive episode there was nothing I could do (or very little), even if I had experience about it and I know what it was. "Knowing" about it was not helping. And if you have never been through that you can think you have control over it and others have control too.
But if your brain doesn't produce enough let's say serotonin, you cannot produce it through wishful thinking, and it will definitely have important consequences on how you function. If you think the mind can do everything you are the one being tricked by that illusion.
That's like drinking a bottle of vodka and thinking you can "not be drunk" if you try hard enough because it's all in your mind. Just like you cannot make ethanol disappear from your body through wishful thinking, you cannot make THC disappear, just like you cannot necessarily fix your brain into producing the right amount of serotonin or dopamine. And you brain cannot function properly without those. Our mind needs a functioning physical brain to function properly. Not that you cannot find any solutions or workarounds to some extent, but it's not like our thoughts are in a virtual ether, completely detached from our bodies and brain chemistry.
It seems like you have some sort of weird obsession about our “choice” or “non-choice” regarding our suffering. Forget about this whole idea of brain chemistry and throw it out the damn window because what you actually have here is your own thought projecting an image. The image that you are creating with thought is of an outside influence that you have no control over (brain chemistry). In reality our minds are self contained and the only way out of your suffering is through the same mind. You are really bothering me with this bullshit about how we have no choice. You’re in denial of actual facts. Basically you’re saying that our brain chemistry is taking us on a predestined thought trip.

You said that you could feel that the mood swing was going to come, but perhaps the preparing for it is what made it appear in your mind. No, we may not create certain thoughts or feelings willingly with a disorder but it isn’t about willpower, it’s about insight.
 
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