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Hi everyone! I can't believe I'm back on here after almost three years. Back in 2018 I began experiencing hyperawareness of the time passing. It was a constant feeling of anxiety this has caused me. It sucked but it kinda stopped on its own after about a year. I was enjoying clarity again until a few days ago it started again, the same symptoms, the same anxiety, the same struggle I know too well. I don't know what triggered it again, but it happened. It feels like a veil that's covering my mind and I can't think logically. I just can't comprehend how time moves and how there is a past and where that past is going and where the present moment is. Time is one of the biggest mysteries in our Universe and no one really knows what's up, but the fact that things continually change and happen without a break, makes me very anxious. I constantly feel like I'm gonna commit suicide because this feeling is too intense. I don't want to die, and don't worry, I'm not going to end my life like this. What's even weirder is that this exact process(of time passing and being a fundamental part of reality) caused these thoughts to occur. What I know is that this is clearly a phase I will overcome (weird, right?) as I did three years ago and it's more than sure part of my OCD obsessive thinking. Sometimes reality feels heavy on my brain, but my brain itself is part of reality itself. Very hard stuff to deal with. I left my home country and moved to the UK for university in 2019. Now I'm in my third year and I'm reflecting on the past few years. I've been through so much anxiety and it's always related to the nature of life itself, my consciousness, my existence and all things triggering. I will move forward and I'll accept this hyperawareness in my life again. I'm not trying to run away from it and certainly death isn't a promise either. I believe that our minds are just prone to getting confused. Today's Sunday. Tomorrow is a new day. I'll begin trying to find a therapist who knows how to deal with this stuff. Until then, I have to hold tight on what's left of my senses. Such difficult days these are. I genuinely believed it was gone. Here we go again, I guess. I wish you all reading to find the peace and clarity in your life again. We'll get through it! Much love!!! ❤
 
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