Depersonalization Support Forum banner
21 - 40 of 46 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
I agree with this solution. Anybody who disagrees is pretty much validating what you've said. By saying the experience is too difficult to deal with they are obviously siding with their thoughts. If you know that things feel unreal, you have to have sense of what feels real otherwise you wouldn't know the difference. Or it wouldn't be a 'problem'. The irony of dp or Dr is that you only realize how ridiculous it is once you're outside of it and everything has come back into balance. The best way to gain power over anxious thoughts is to let them be, and see them for what they are: thoughts. If you believe thoughts can hurt you than voilà, you're a great candidate for Dr or Dp. I can guarantee that neither has ever hurt you in any way. You have probably only ever experienced suffering. Suffering is in your mind. It's the attachment to these thoughts. Every moment you have the ability to focus on something other than dp or Dr. Don't feed the thoughts. Do nothing about the thoughts. Do something else instead. Also, relax and allow yourself to feel the way you do. No feeling is capable of lasting forever. If you think that you experience Dr or dp 24 hours. It's simply not true or possible. There are moments in your day when you are focused on something other than Dr or Dp, but since you're so used to looking for symptoms and not difference you will probably disagree with me. It's okay, you're just experiencing a pattern of chronicity. Follow the steps outlined above. They are golden. Your mind is tired. It wants to return to it's natural state, but it doesn't need your 'help'. It needs your attention to be spent somewhere useful instead. The person who is truly in control of their mind realizes that the best thing to do in order to deal with negative thoughts is to never entertain them and just observe what they do instead. Eventually you will get distracted by life and there will be a point where you forget to look more and more and then finally it's gone. You're an obsessive thinker if you have Dp or Dr. That's to your advantage though. Find something else to obsess over. Just not this. When it comes to dp and Dr do nothing. When it comes to your life, do something.
This is an amazingly helpful and supportive choice of words, thank you. When I start entering the cycle of bad thoughts again I read this, and it helps me sit back and realise nothing is as bad as it seems, I must just embrace the strange physical sensations as they'll eventually go, its all in my mind and I need to stop being so over-anxious and such a compulsive thinker. Cheers to you :)

Oh, and quite obviously thank you to the original thread post, that is also extremely valued and it will help me overcome this greatly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
116 Posts
I'm sorry, but I can't agree with the step #1. Whether you want to believe it or not, the thoughts in your head ARE your thoughts. Who else's could they be? But, a thought is just a thought. It's okay to have thoughts. This is how more serious mental illnesses arise...a person who hears voices doesn't want to believe the thoughts in their head are theirs, so they actually develop into hallucinations. It's still their thoughts, just now they've gotten more debilitating. Accept the fact that you have thoughts that are less than pleasant. Everyone does. Sometimes my thoughts are really disturbing, but if I don't accept that I'm the one thinking them (even unintentionally), the thoughts will become even more aggressive.

I spent many years suppressing my thoughts of suicide, but all that did was turn those thoughts into voices in my head and very disturbing intrusive images. When you can't accept your thoughts as your own, you can't accept yourself. Suppressing your thoughts may aid in temporary relief, but in the long run, it could be even more damaging to your psyche.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
72 Posts
I can understand the potential benefits of this post, but I do have to highlight: 'these thoughts are not yours' and 'don't believe the thoughts' - this is essentially dissociation by definition. They are your thoughts, if not then who's are they? The point is to realise that they are meaningless and unimportant thoughts, not to dissociate from them. I'm not sure that more dissociation can help reduce dissociation.... My two cents.
 

·
Core Contributor
Joined
·
416 Posts
I think the problem is that a lot of people don't want to believe it's this simple because they think the way they feel is really complex. But I don't blame anyone. It sucks and I know how it feels.
Im going to live by this post now lol.

I've had dp for 10 years and keep trying to convince myself I need 10 years of trauma processing or some shit lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
163 Posts
This is very true. For me it's either feeling scared to be alive (weird unnatural thoughts) and then I feel scared about that, OR, I feel strange because I remember past anxiety and I know that I am not feeling okay.

I always feel 100% better when I am distracted, meaning that my brain is not MANUALLY doing something to make me feel bad. If I stop obsessing about my thoughts or thinking about my feelings, I literally simply just feel better.

Thank you for this. Have a great day.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
163 Posts
This is very true. For me it's either feeling scared to be alive (weird unnatural thoughts) and then I feel scared about that, OR, I feel strange because I remember past anxiety and I know that I am not feeling okay.

I always feel 100% better when I am distracted, meaning that my brain is not MANUALLY doing something to make me feel bad. If I stop obsessing about my thoughts or thinking about my feelings, I literally simply just feel better.

Thank you for this. Have a great day.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
163 Posts
I can understand the potential benefits of this post, but I do have to highlight: 'these thoughts are not yours' and 'don't believe the thoughts' - this is essentially dissociation by definition. They are your thoughts, if not then who's are they? The point is to realise that they are meaningless and unimportant thoughts, not to dissociate from them. I'm not sure that more dissociation can help reduce dissociation.... My two cents.
I think what he/she means is that the thoughts aren't LITERALLY yours (they obviously aren't some mad scientist's or some brain in a vat) but they aren't what you REALLY think. A person without DP would think "life is fake", and then not obsess over it or laugh it off. But a person WITH DP would think "life is fake", then feel fake, then believe the thought, then obsess over it, then think more weird thoughts, and continue.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
I literally just made an account to comment on this post. I've been searching for an answer to help me in my depersonalization and I finally found it in here! Thank you so much for this!

I've had dp/dr for sometime now. Until recently it was very tolerable (In fact even enjoyable sometimes) until these past two weeks. I wanted to post my input on why I believe what OP is saying is valid using my own experience as an example. I'll start with the day I first had DP/DR.

It was 2004, I was in Jr high and was in football. Now the way my school was designed we had to walk quite a distance from class to the football locker rooms. I dreaded the walk so bad, so I had an idea to help me deal with the walk. "Why not pretend that I am in my head and my body is the one doing the walking for me?" It made sense since I only viewed life from my eyes so there was no reason to associate my moving body with myself. Oddly enough it worked. I felt detached from my body and walked over to the football lockers with ease. It was from then on I made a practice of this state of mind and eventually was stuck in it. I, like most people, kept silent about it and went through my life with it. As time went on I started having the usual problem teens go through (Grades, Girlfriends, driving etc) and forgot about this state of mind and was eventually free from DP. Now this confirms that DP/DR is a result of my conscious thought of separating myself from the physical and always analyzing the realness of everything, since keeping my occupied mind didn't allow such thoughts to happen, it relieved the symptoms. It was now 2010 and I had just finished high school when I had a relapse (very minor and tolerable compared to my previous episode). I was at a gig (I'm a musician) and started realizing that the reason I felt this way was because I was so fixated on the thought of whether this felt real or not (An OCD if you will) somehow I convinced myself that what I was experiencing was real and to just accept that it is real, my symptoms almost immediately subsided. Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was smoking marijuana when I had a very bad trip. I woke up the following morning numb almost like I couldn't remember what happiness felt like or any emotion for that matter, the world seemed so unreal to me, more so than ever before, I had no concept of time (Didn't know what 30 minutes felt like). I started to have extreme anxiety thinking I went crazy or developed clinical depression. It was hell. The more I started reading other peoples de realization stories of how they felt, the worse my symptoms got. Two weeks into this nightmare I am playing at my usual gig when I had just read a very disheartening DP/DR story and started feeling the same way they describe. I freaked out! I thought I had really done it this time! I ran into my car and pulled out my phone looking for any resource that can help me and by some coincidence I found this post, Immediately upon reading it everything just clicked! It all made sense. This was all the result of me focusing to much on whether anything felt real, I was always occupied with the thought that I never actually had time to experience anything since I was always questioning my experience and not actually just experiencing. I immediately started telling myself that these were not my thoughts. Every time the question of whether or not something was real came up I immediately dismissed them by reminding myself that these thoughts are not mine and are just a learned behavior I developed. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulder. My symptoms immediately reduced. This was further validated because my thoughts started coming back stronger and stronger like they were OCD thoughts but I kept reminding myself that they were not real nor mine and they started losing their power, I started to pay no mind about such things and noticed significant progress within the hour. I am confident just as a learned the habits that caused my DP/DR my new habits of not giving serious attention to these thoughts will get me out of it. Thank you again! Hope this helps!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
78 Posts
Nice post, but the problem is: Who am I, in fact? There's a confusing aspect of the "true me". We should be able to distinguish the true self from the fake (DPed), to tell the "true me" those thoughts don't belong to it. But the problem is here: we have trouble in being our true self.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Great post - I would only add to the "What Causes..." list:

1. Certain medications

2. Withdrawals/detoxing/titrating off certain medications or substances

I'm currently one five-month titration from Oxycontin, and when the w/d's start, so do the DPs...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
How to cure Depersonalization in three simple steps.​

Introduction:

Depersonalization is a state of mind where you feel unreal and emotionally numb. The environment around you seems unfamiliar, strange and almost fake as if it were made of plastic.

People then begin to feel changes in themselves, where they begin to question if anything is real or if anything exists. Eventually, they become so engrossed by these thoughts; they begin to believe them.

What causes these sensations?

A series of events may trigger this feeling of being 'unreal' that would varry from anxiety, panic attacks, mental trauma, etc. (e.g. a person may have witnessed a horrific incident that could cause him/her to feel this way, temporarily.)

How long does this last?

Not for very long. If you have previously experienced visual distortions, chances they have probably subsided by now. All that remains are worrying, intrusive thoughts that seem overwhelming and almost impossible to overcome.

If still experience visual distortions you are most likely still overwhelmed by these events and are overly anxious (constantly on edge). Regardless, both of these disturbances can be overcome very easily.

Why do people continue to feel this way?

Interestingly, this has much less to do with the root cause and more to do with the strange thoughts the person experiences on a frequent basis.

Here is the pattern:

1- Thought arises telling the person that nothing is real, nothing feels real.

2- The person then believes the thought and acknowledges it.

3- Then the person feels boggled and confused, questioning the validity of his thoughts.

The cycle repeats.​

What do thoughts have to do with feeling unreal?

When you touch something, feel something, or say something, you would experience thoughts in your mind telling you what you are touching does not feel or seem real. When you are talking, the same thought arises telling you that it is not you speaking, that the words coming out of your mouth are automated and you have no control over it.

Some people believe these thoughts, even though they know they are not true.

Only when a person believes these thoughts does he become an observer. Which is something that many people complain about.


How do we cure Depersonalization and reduce the intensity of these thoughts?

There are three simple steps that should be taken when facing these situations. With daily use and practice they will become second nature.

1- Realize that these thoughts are not yours. (Any deceitful thoughts that would cause you mental pain, wasting of time, etc.) e.g. Thoughts of feeling unreal fit in all these categories.​
(1- Deceitful = Not true 2- Mental Pain = Stress, Anxiety. 3- Wasteful = Analyzing and evaluating)

2- Don't believe the thoughts. (You might think theres something more, don't believe the thoughts, they are not true. They shouldn't be analyzed or evaluated, they will simply waste your time.)

3- Don't blame yourself for having these thoughts. (Self-blame will cause you to fall back into the viscous cycle, you will begin to feel depressed > worrying thoughts arise > anxiety.

How does this help?

By implementing these 3 simple steps into your daily routine, you will eliminate the feeling of Depersonalization as well as anxiety.

1- You will not be troubled by the thoughts, because they don't belong to you. (Reduces thinking about thoughts)

2- You will not believe deceitful thoughts that only aim to cause you mental pain. (Reduces anxiety)

3- You will not blame yourself for having these thoughts and will learn to deal with them more effectively in a healthy way. (Reduces the likelihood of falling into a depressed state)​

I hope this helps and benefits you all as much as it has helped me.
This is a great post. I think it should be more widely available on the site. It's a huge help for me, anyway...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
I do not recognize myself in the thinking pattern. And yes, I am a little fysically exhausted at moment, but when I came to "these thoughts are not yours" I could not continue reading. I got very anxious. I now doubt that I know how I think. My fault. I should have kept more distance initially. I feel different.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
First off, thank you for this post. My episode has only been here for a week but this has helped me immensely in the short term. It's not gone but I know it will be a step in the right direction.

Secondly, I read through all of the post and saw some valid points. Not everyone's DP is the same, but I think that curing it with these steps requires that a person has an idea of what their true self is. It's not that by thinking that your thoughts aren't real that you dissociate yourself from who you currently are, it's that by thinking your thoughts aren't real that you dissociate your current self from who you truly are.

But if the longer that your DP has lasted that harder this may be. It's easy to forget who you are. Even if it hasn't been a while, it's easy to not know who you are to begin with.

So if you have an idea of what your true self is you can follow these steps because when you make steps towards recovery you know that you're doing the right thing. If you don't have that idea of self then you may not even know if you're taking a step in the right direction.

All criticisms welcome, this was my view prima facie to the contradictions that have risen in this thread..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
I apologize for the double post, but I believe that it is allowed under the rules.

Since reading this, I have to say that I've honestly gotten a LOT better. Atleast 60% with a conservative estimate.

The hardest part is re-programming your thoughts and finding some sort of positive tether to your world. Once you do that you are on track for recovery.

I think that (as I said before), the method in this thread works best for people who have a very good idea/memory of self and can differentiate between the contextual nuances of what 'self' even means.

For instance, I have to reconcile being able to think philosophically about the nature of reality and the possibility of its in-existence with the idea that I cannot question my own reality in the context of DP. In other words, I have to be able to think critically about whether or not reality is real, but not question my belief of whether or not reality is real. Thinking critically about something and having a shaky belief are two different things. I can believe in a god even if I question its existence (as many people do), I can believe in the existence of the sun and investigate other paths to its perceived existence. I hope you get the idea.

If you want a better description of how I did that, I'll be glad to PM you but it is a fair bit of thinking.

Another thing was understanding that 'these are not my thoughts' had to have a good understanding of what 'my' meant, because all thoughts procured in my brain are still my thoughts. However, they are not the thoughts of me in a more recovered form. To elaborate, I'm not dissociating between me under DP and me before, I'm differentiating between the way I perceive the world with DP and the way I perceived it before; I still maintain that I am the same person. If the way I perceived it before is correct, then the perception I experience now can be classified as 'different' or 'erroneous'. So I am then able to justify thinking that 'these are not my thoughts', because 'these are not my thoughts' more closely means 'these are not my thoughts when I am perceiving the world the right way, knowing that the world is just as real as it was before.' I still maintain that reality is constant, just the way it is being interpreted has changed. Annihilating all thoughts that would disagree has helped immensely (note how I was careful not to use the word 'ignoring', 'policing', or 'avoiding'. I am consistent about tackling these thoughts head-on, and using this same argument about reality each time. I also imagine Samuel L. Jackson or Andy Wahlberg making a sassy, aggressive response to the intrusive thought.)

I'm on a healthy road to recovery so let me know if you need any more advice. I was a mess last week.
 
21 - 40 of 46 Posts
Top