Everyone feels like a robot to me and my mind is so blank and dead I feel like I am forgetting every moment of everyday, yet if someone asks me something I can remember everything perfectly. I am desperate to find anything to make this go away fast so I can embrace this beautiful life I get to live with my son. I have heard that accepting this makes things so much better but it is so hard when I look around and feel like I am constantly in a daydream in a hole I cant get out of. I don't even know how I am a functioning human being. I see a psychologist and I cant get in to see a psychiatrist until January 9th. I have tried meditation and I am currently on Prozac, but my doctor recently switched me to Wellbutrin a few months ago and THAT made my DP/DR even WORSE. So now I am trying to get that out of my system and let the Prozac maybe bring me back a little. I am so lost, and I just wish this would go away or that I had more motivation to make it go away its so tiring trying to deal with all of this alone.Many of us have underlying anxiety orders which could explain why your husband leaving triggered you. You could have some form of separation anxiety, for instance. I know that when I feel bad, I like certain people around as a kind of safety net. But yeah, living like this is beyond shit. Even something as simple as showering has become a big ordeal. I was standing there this morning feeling the water all over me thinking "shouldn't this make me feel more alive?" but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Instead I was just standing there feeling delirious and out of my mind. I tend to either feel manic/rambly, or I have no energy, or I'm depressive. But I'm never myself.
The only things that have helped me so far are decent anti-anxiety medication and distraction (pursuing my hobbies and work in a hands-on kind of way). I can tell that I feel terrified underneath the meds, though. It's a kind of dread whereby you know something's not right and you feel as if it's never going to be right again. Hopefully this clears up for us someday in the not too distant future.
The only things that have helped me so far are decent anti-anxiety medication and distraction (pursuing my hobbies and work in a hands-on kind of way). I can tell that I feel terrified underneath the meds, though. It's a kind of dread whereby you know something's not right and you feel as if it's never going to be right again. Hopefully this clears up for us someday in the not too distant future.
