We could very well be the only ones enjoying this thread... :lol:
Was my idea of symptoms/causes are just all a matter of degree and how each unique fragile ego manifests its pathologies differently causing the resulting diagnosis kind of on the right track?
I'm sure you wrote some other musical type stuff that has disappeared? I know the board is going awol at the moment so maybe that's why?
As it happens, it was a bit like going into a shop in France and using your well rehearsed, thought out sentence, and then the French shop keeper, thinking you must understand French really well, rattles off something back to you and you nod politely...
I understand bass and treble, but beyond that, I mean, I played the triangle at school but that's as far as my understanding of music goes. I KNOW there would be a very interesting and revealing message in your musical metaphors, so please may I have a translation? Jeez I feel so uncultured!!!
Right, I get the bit about how we don't have an objective reporter, that we are obviously a product of our environment and there is no way we could be neutral or non biased in anything at all. We are who we are - is that what you meant when you said about not meaning 'fake' when discussing narcisissm etc? Since getting to grips with all this, I get kind of disturbed by the idea of real me versus false me, so this is somewhat comforting. At least its all me -I became a little obsessed with trying to find the real me, thinking that when in dp mode, that was the real me and just generally getting confused and far too deep into it all, making me feel more 'fragmented'.
Still a bit confused. When we talk about developing a false sense of self, what does that mean? I don't mean DID, just the broader sense of the term. Also, what is it that guides us in the right direction, shows what we are doing wrong and leading us to insights, do we have to have an external source (eg therapist) to point us in the right direction, because of the lack of an objective reporter?
An example of what I'm trying to say, and I think we've both used it as an example before.
If someone walks into a shop, rather than picking out, what they like, they maybe a bit more 'teenager-like' (for want of a better analogy) and pick out the 'image' they want to project. Everybody must do this to a certain degree, surely? I understand that this is something explained in literature on ego, id, super ego etc of which I have done no reading at all.
If you have an unempathic carer during the developmental stage, when your needs and wants are either nurtured or discouraged etc, something happens to your sense of identity - and you may develop a false sense of self. Is this kind of along the right track - so in essence, the true self has never had a chance to develop, so nothing actually underlies this 'false' sense, so in a sense, it is the real self ?!?!?!!??! Which is why nothing lies underneath our patholigies, they are us? (my brain hurts). So, 20 years down the line, when you walk into a clothes shop, you don't actual know what you want, you could like anything on the shelves or none of it. Could be any image, according to your latest desperate attempt to be someone eg Goth or barbie doll. So when I say how do I find the real me, what I mean is not how to become true to oneself, but how to become at peace with your identity. And how to rid yourself of these destructive patterns regarding your identity. But if you've never learnt to know your own wants and needs - can you ever? I guess I'm questioning the phrase 'being true to oneself'. I'm sure Des touches upon this in his posts.
Sorry to use the blank canvas expression again, but when I discovered that I didn't have to fit into any image or category and I could just go with the flow, it was very liberating. But it's also like being given a fresh start and having the need to put something on the canvas real quick, before it disappears. But the canvas is for other people to see, maybe you don't need to put anything on it at all and stop talking absolute bollocks and getting way beyond comprehension now... :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
OK brain overload. Not even sure what my point was.
Basically, not to 'find' the real me but to become someone who just is, and not obsessed with what they could be, or what they should be. Then you won't question it. Then you won't obsess, and 'obsess yourself right into a stroke' :lol: which is what will happen if I don't log off right now.