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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How much fear do you experience as part of DP/DR
fear is not part of DP/DR for me35.36%
I am only afraid some of the time, i.e during a panic attack814.29%
I am always afraid of the strangeness1628.57%
I am always afraid, sometimes terrified2951.79%
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Fear of the sensations of DP/DR is a big part of the whole thing for me. Curious how others feel.

- this is the first poll I've tried on the new site. Hopefully it makes sense.
 

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Interesting question, but very difficult for me to answer.

1. When I had DP/DR as a young girl I was terrified of disappearing, or being "just a thought". I was anxious, probably all of the time. I was afraid and lonely. I was terrified "people would find out", and I did a helluva lot of "faking it".
When a horrible WAVE of DP hit, I'd be either terrified -- make that horrified.

2. Now older, maybe burnt out, with this damn thing being chronic, the anxiety and DP/DR don't always work together. Sometimes I'm anxious, sometimes not. Right now I'm my "normal" DP/DR. I don't feel anxious. Not at all. I'm tired, and I don't feel like doing anything.

3. Now if I had to go to work tomorrow, I'd be in a panic NOW, and my DP/DR would start increasing to unbearable levels. I would not be able to sleep in anticipation of how bad I know I feel at work ... being "scrutinized".. which is ridiculous I know ... I would wake up DP/DR to the hilt. Terrified.

Unfortunately, in my little isolated world, I'm "safe". If I have things I need to do for myself, fine. I can get together with people, but it has to be LOW key. I like to know the person understands... and I know such people, some with DP some not. Some who've had it or other problems.

I don't know why I'm rambling about this. I checked I have the worst fear during "panic attacks" but I really don't have panic attacks. I have severe anticipatory anxiety that has reinforced itself over the years. I have tried and tried and tried and I can't kick it.

The effect of the DP is one thing, then the things that effect the DP are another. The vicious circle.

But at this moment, I'm DP/DR, it's "OK", I'm not afraid of it, and I'm not anxious, but I'm not happy in the least. I have plans for the coming weeks, I'm trying to get out more, but I no longer have high expectations.

I have worked in all sorts of jobs, been to all sorts of parties, been in terrible situations, and have made it through, sometimes anxious, sometimes very DP/DR, but never feeling good, and feeling any sense of accomplishment other than I made it through another day without disappearing.

But I'm still here.
Go figure.
Best,
D
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I don't understand how I can still be so afraid of this. You'd think I could "get used to it", at least to some degree. And yet if anything, I am more afraid of it now than when it first started.
Yep, fear is a big, big part of this whole experience for me.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I voted constant terror, by the way.

You ask how you can STILL be so afraid after all this time?

Okay, did your kids ever have nightmares when they were little? Ever talk to a five yr. old who awakened from some horrible dream? Do you try to tell the kid, "oh, come on! you've had bad dreams before....why are you letting them still get to yoU?! Just grow up. Don't you know that's the same kind of dream you had last month and last year? Don't you remember having the same damn dream when you were TWO? get over it."

Hopefully, that is not your advice.

When we are in a state of mental symptoms, the STATE of mind is similar to a dream. We are 100 per cent CAUGHT UP into the whirlpool of the illusion. Of course a nightmare tonight is every bit as terrifying as a nightmare from ten years ago. NO brain can "get used to it" because the NATURE of the experience is such that the mind is 100 per cent absorbed into the illusion.

I felt as terrified after 20 yrs. of horrible episodes as I did the day I walked down my front steps and dp'd out for the first time.

peace,
J
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you Dreamer - my hero for dealing with this for so long.
Thank you Janine - my hero for dealing with it for so long, and somehow finding her way out.
 

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I felt as terrified after 20 yrs. of horrible episodes as I did the day I walked down my front steps and dp'd out for the first time.
What a powerful statement. It really illustrates the difficulty of the DP experience and what it does to our thinking. Fear seems to be the most prominant feature to this deal. Just ask Janine about my early morning PM's begging her for reassurance of my sanity. Thx Janine :)
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Talk about irony. If ANYone had ever told me that I, JANINE, would be ANYbody's source of reassurance about sanity, I would have said THEY were crazy, lol...

One never knows how things will turn out in this world.

Keep the faith, all.

Love,
J
 

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Scared lots of the time, and scared to get it back again, but that fades after a few days as it goes quickly out of my memory.
 
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