[qbsbrown]

My DR began while i was drinking extremely heavily (12-25 drinks, 5x a week) 4 yrs ago. It began with a huge breakthrough panic attack one night, and wasn't the same the next morning.
Since this has happened, i have improved greatly w/ alcohol, but not totally sober. I've had a couple 3 month sobriety periods, and one 4 month sobriety. But binges here and there. But i did not feel any better during that sobriety time.
Does it take the brain longer to heal from that? Was i depleting my serotonin sources, and screwing up my GABA? I understand that while drinking, GABA and serotonin are increased. So the lack and withdrawal the next days i can see inducing DR/anxiety. Perhaps even for months.
We talk a lot about drug induced DP, but i don't see that alcohol is included.
If i have a drink, my DR/anxiety/racing mind, all of it goes away. The same w/ klonopin. What is the relationship?

thanks to my peeps

 

[person3]

I think the only thing it has to do with the alcohol is this: You were using the alcohol (obviously at such high amounts, unless you have a very strange genetic reaction like the Native Americans to alcohol..but still suspicious here) you were using the alcohol to cover up other feelings.

I would seriously consider going to AA and really trying to get involved. Maybe just sit in the open meetings and absorb and listen to what they say and see if their life issues apply to you.

Because a LOT of what DP is, can be remedied and learned about using similar techniques to the 12 steps of AA. And I think if you got DP from drinking, it coudl be something that could be helped by using that program.

It sounds like your kind of alcoholism has to do more with psychological issues than chemical issues. There has to be something that freaked you out to the point of DP/DR, and if you are ALREADY drinking that much I suspect that you had some underlying psychological things that came out in that panic attack.

Try AA. That is my opinion.

 

[person3]

(And disclaimer to skeptics like martin who I know argued about AA in the past: I'm not talking about the God issue here. I'm talking about the psychological healing involved in forgiveness, surrender of control, emotional openness, etc. God or not. They say higher power in the AA books but one can consider that higher power "reality" or "the way of the world". Like "I am not above (higher power) reality". etc.)

 

[jc]

in laymans terms drinking in extreme amounts will only make you feel worse but drinking in smaller amounts will help in the short term but you will still feel slightly more detached the next day...so alcohol still has a price to pay

 

[qbsbrown]

for a while, the drinking didn't feel like it was covering up anything. I was just doing it to do it, and it felt good. But then came to a point to where i felt OBLIGATED to do it, even if i or my body didn't feel like doing it.
But in the end, yes it was covering up. I was delaying and prolonging the real world. Had just graduated college, couldn't find a job (didn't really want one), didn't know what reality or responsibility was.
Janine i think is/was right in her book, when she says that this may be reality trying to breaking through, not us losing touch with it. But i hate this reality. Lost all it's optimism of my youth. Perhaps i/we need to accept it, and then look at it all we want, even if we are corporate slaves,lol.

I'm not a big fan of AA, have been before. I can quit alcohol w/o it, but i don't feel as if i recover psychologically. Perhpas psychotherapy.

 

[bright23]

"I've had a couple 3 month sobriety periods, and one 4 month sobriety. But binges here and there. But i did not feel any better during that sobriety time."

What's a "binge" for you?

 

[qbsbrown]

I guess a binge would be either drinking into oblivion once a week, or like this past month, start to drink, or at least want to and crave drinking everyday. Might last a couple weeks.
I am going back on the wagon with a definite goal of surpassing my 4 months. And in all reality, i should quit it permanently.

 

[person3]

Yeah, I can DEFINITELY see where the duration of your drinking "career" has furthered you more and more from reality, thus bringing on a panic attack.

AA might not be the right approach for you. Definitely go to therapy then. You sound like you need to talk to someone. Honestly you might find AA comforting in the future, so i wouldn't discount it altogehter. I like some of the stuff about it and I'm not even an alcoholic! But I only really started appreciating some of what they were saying after being ni therapy for a while. It all kind of goes together.

 

[qbsbrown]

Thanks for your feedback, i appreciate it. Just one of those bad days u know, where you have desperate posts (almost like drunken dials, lol).
I was on day 3 of cold turkey of klonopin (granted only on .5 usually) and it just hit me like a hammer. I began taking it again, and will consider a SSRI (although they seemed to make my DR worse).

Regards,

Brian

 

[bright23]

When I was hospitalized years ago, it seemed like everyone was on klonopin except me. And they seemed to be having a great time. I asked the psychiatrist who prescribed me meds there... "So I notice that just about everyone here is on klonopin. Should I be on it?"

He peered out from under his chart with a curved eyebrow and said, "YOU do not need klonopin." And that was it.

The point is the psychiatrist knew I was in there for emotional problems compounded by drug and alcohol abuse.

Do you tell your psychiatrist about your binges?

I have been sober for a little over a year from all drugs and alcohol. My mental problems for the first time in my life appear manageable. I'm getting better gradually and I know its largely because I'm not self-medicating with depressants anymore.

 

[bright23]

The more I read over your other posts I understand that when you try coming off klonopin, the world starts teetering. SO, if it works for now, use it. But perhaps tell your doctor about the effects you're having when you discontinue such a low dosage of klonopin.

And help is always available when you feel you are ready to quit drinking. Its everywhere. Only you will know when you are ready.