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Hi everyone !

I have been looking into this forum for support for a while, but now I decided to make a thread of my own. I have been dealing with constant depersonalization for the past 7 and a half years, and am honestly sick of it. I am 25 years old now.

I have been reading on these threads which tell to take care of ones diet and that dp comes from anxiety mainly.

But I have been wondering how you guys go on living your lives. As others mention in different threads, I find the symptoms to be very restricting and have not been able to do much in my life which is quite depressing.

I want to get over dp and make something of myself, but have been afraid since dp makes me feel unreal and unable to connect to anything which I read, or do. I also have very bad memory since this started. I am so self-conscious that I will mess up that I did not dare do something, but now I think it is enough.

So I wanted to ask how you guys have been able to hold down a job or go to college/ school or whatever ? How has this situation affected your life goals and relationships with others ?

As for me, most people would not understand what I am going through, and hence I do not talk about it.

Looking forward to your replies.
 

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Hey there.

I've felt messed up all my life, though the symptoms were very subtle until around age 20. I've never really felt fully "here" (though occasionally something exciting could snap me into reality, like a day at an amusement park. Not anymore though.)

After the symptoms struck hard, I ended up just putting all my energy into my academic work. It was really difficult, but it was the only thing I could really do, as socializing and other things were either horrifying or just depressed me more. Academics gave me a strange feeling of euphoria, and it did feel good to accomplish things. I did really well, and ended up getting accepted into a couple top grad programs. But my cognitive functions justs kept getting worse. There wasn't enough hours in a day to read things 3 times, and I couldn't process what was happening in seminar. Not eating much and sleeping poorly, yada, yada, yards. Now I'm pretty much an invalid. Showering and folding laundry is a painful and frustrating experience. Relationships are non-existent. Can't even process a television show most of the time. Everyone and everything either annoys or depresses me. Eating is a challenge (I survive on Ensure nutrient drinks much of the time, just to "ensure" that I get nutrients I need when I can't make healthy foods).

Sorry for all the negativity. I try to play computer games with inconsistent results as well. But at least earlier in this condition I did find something of value in it. And, depending on how severely it affects you cognitively and physically, perhaps my earlier experience can give you some hope.
 

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Hey there! I was always very goal-oriented with great work ethic and a good head on my shoulders for academics. The symptoms of DR started creeping up on me in 2017 but I didn’t get hit with a truck by them until the beginning of 2018. I felt I couldn’t continue to work or go to school because it crippled me in every way and I’ve always been very hard on myself for not being the best I can be (I’ve made my own money since I was very young and pushed myself to get into a good university) so you can imagine how it affected my self esteem that I haven’t been successful with much in the last year and a half. This is to say the least.. I have other mental disorders so my love life is one of the biggest stress factors for me. Keeping friendships has been hard too and not having family to be there for me has just sank me into a deeper, lonely hole. I’ve seen a lot of people discuss how they get used to it with time and they recommend to get out and take care of your physical health, to not stop doing things you enjoy, avoid isolating yourself, but it’s obviously so much easier said than done. Fact of the matter is I don’t cope. I know I have a degree of strength for coming this far but it doesn’t feel that way when I feel like my life has no purpose or direction right now. I can only hope all of us who are still stuck in this phase of struggling to survive this disorder day by day find the motivation and peace of mind we’ve been so desperately looking to find.
 

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There is a way out of DP for all of us....Its not the death sentence it constantly appears to be whilst we are in the throws of it...

Ive been a member of this forum for many years and have seen many recover fully....Ive also seen lots of others like myself learn to live with it as managed condition..

I guess what Im trying to say is that no matter how dark this horrible condition gets for us there is always still hope...
 

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Hey there! I was always very goal-oriented with great work ethic and a good head on my shoulders for academics. The symptoms of DR started creeping up on me in 2017 but I didn't get hit with a truck by them until the beginning of 2018. I felt I couldn't continue to work or go to school because it crippled me in every way and I've always been very hard on myself for not being the best I can be (I've made my own money since I was very young and pushed myself to get into a good university) so you can imagine how it affected my self esteem that I haven't been successful with much in the last year and a half. This is to say the least.. I have other mental disorders so my love life is one of the biggest stress factors for me. Keeping friendships has been hard too and not having family to be there for me has just sank me into a deeper, lonely hole. I've seen a lot of people discuss how they get used to it with time and they recommend to get out and take care of your physical health, to not stop doing things you enjoy, avoid isolating yourself, but it's obviously so much easier said than done. Fact of the matter is I don't cope. I know I have a degree of strength for coming this far but it doesn't feel that way when I feel like my life has no purpose or direction right now. I can only hope all of us who are still stuck in this phase of struggling to survive this disorder day by day find the motivation and peace of mind we've been so desperately looking to find.
Sorry to hear that is how it has affected you. I feel quite similar in that I have had to forget about or at least postpone career ambitions because of this disorder.. It does really knock self esteem if you feel disabled in a way that isn't obvious to other people. I am trying to learn to let go of previous plans and hopes and go with what I'm capable of now. Perhaps dp is a way of telling you that you should be moving in a different direction in life.
 
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