[xxmdogxx1]

Hi, I've been a member of this site a long time and ever since I got this disorder I've probably had 20 or more different jobs. The longest being probably 2 years or so... I understand the will to survive is strong but what kind of jobs are you folks able to succeed in under this much constant building stress. It just seems like I've never been able to find something sustainable and it makes me curious how you all do it. Thanks for reading.

 

[AnnaGiulia]

wow, this is a really good question, xxmdogxx1

I worked as studio artist, art teacher, curator, lecturer, secretary, project manager, researcher, conservator. It seems as if I changed my job a lot, but basically, it was always related to art and culture, whether I was producing art, curating exhibitions, or lecturing about it all...
I invested in real estate in the meantime, and that is what gives me a modest security and therefore freedom to do what I want now, which is most of the things I listed above, tbh, as I again plan to work as artist and art teacher, I already work as freelance curator and lecturer, I am secretary (voluntarily) for an association I support, I run my own projects, do the research and write, and the only thing I did not continue to do was art conservation, as I am too sensitive/allergic to most things involved in it.

I understand that this may sound like a lot. I was never able to stay longer on one job, though, I mean on a job where there is a boss and hierarchy...I left jobs a lot. I left, let me see...well, I basically left five jobs, I was let go only from one, and that was not due to the quality of my work, but rather some other, personal matters, and I declined two permanent positions, one of them twice, which is extremely rare here where I live. I enjoy most those jobs that are based around a project, and therefore have a time limit.

Sometimes I am not able to do anything, and it can go on for some time, but then I can do a lot more than most people when I am focused, and that is how it has always been. I have what I guess is called hyperfocus, and I can produce a lot in a short time, from an idea to realization (whether it is writing, art or research), but that is perhaps because I was never certain as to how long do I have until I lose the focus again.

I would also like to know what you guys do...

Best,
A.

 

[xxmdogxx1]

wow, this is a really good question, xxmdogxx1

I worked as studio artist, art teacher, curator, lecturer, secretary, project manager, researcher, conservator. It seems as if I changed my job a lot, but basically, it was always related to art and culture, whether I was producing art, curating exhibitions, or lecturing about it all...
I invested in real estate in the meantime, and that is what gives me a modest security and therefore freedom to do what I want now, which is most of the things I listed above, tbh, as I again plan to work as artist and art teacher, I already work as freelance curator and lecturer, I am secretary (voluntarily) for an association I support, I run my own projects, do the research and write, and the only thing I did not continue to do was art conservation, as I am too sensitive/allergic to most things involved in it.

I understand that this may sound like a lot. I was never able to stay longer on one job, though, I mean on a job where there is a boss and hierarchy...I left jobs a lot. I left, let me see...well, I basically left five jobs, I was let go only from one, and that was not due to the quality of my work, but rather some other, personal matters, and I declined two permanent positions, one of them twice, which is extremely rare here where I live. I enjoy most those jobs that are based around a project, and therefore have a time limit.

Sometimes I am not able to do anything, and it can go on for some time, but then I can do a lot more than most people when I am focused, and that is how it has always been. I have what I guess is called hyperfocus, and I can produce a lot in a short time, from an idea to realization (whether it is writing, art or research), but that is perhaps because I was never certain as to how long do I have until I lose the focus again.

I would also like to know what you guys do...

Best,
A.

I mean if I may delve a little deeper Anna, I feel like some people with this site are certainly more functional than others regarding DP/DR. Like they might get a twinge of DP?DR or feel like there is a piece of glass between them and the world while others such as myself, I've described it more like feeling totally decapitated or demented (not to sound too dramatic) or like my limbic system is curling up in on itself and I cannot be in public period. I don't know if you get this impression... Don't get me wrong it's probably awful for everyone but like anything out there, there must be degrees and so I kind of wonder if the higher functioning patients can kind of clear the precipice so to speak sometimes while others just get chewed up. It's interesting also that you say you have trouble with hierarchies because that is definitely something I've become very sensitive to over the years having this disorder. Maybe it's just an artist thing however.

 

[AnnaGiulia]

Hey Yeah, I am aware that not all DPDR manifests the same way. Mine is related to dissociation, due to early traumatization. So, I don't only have DPDR, I also have dissociative amnesia, identity confusion, even identity alteration, which is perhaps why I am prone to jumping between so many interests and occupations. I understand that it is very different from a constant DPDR, as I have friends around here who have it all the time, and theirs rarely changes.

I think that what we have in common is being constantly in a meta-position towards the world. I am always on the outside looking in, or looking over.

 

[forestx5]

My dp/dr was associated with an epileptic syndrome featuring recurrent major depression, focal temporal lobe seizures, head tremor and vestibular dysfunction, etc. (all related to undiagnosed epileptic activity). The depressive episodes occurred on intervals of approximately 8 years each, and featured severe insomnia, anxiety, and weight loss greater than 15% of body mass. What confused the issue was that my first epileptic seizure took place during my first attempt at cannabis intoxication. I served 3 years in the military. (honorable). I set production records as a larrycar operator at a blast furnace for several years. I troubleshot and repaired office automation equipment and computer systems for 5 years. I was an electronics technician for 23 years working on sophisticated mail processing equipment. I did quite a bit of all that in an altered state of consciousness. I had 5 bypasses about 20 years ago, and I attribute the need for them to the constant stress, fear, and anxiety living with a serious and undiagnosed illness for 40 years.

 

[xxmdogxx1]

My dp/dr was associated with an epileptic syndrome featuring recurrent major depression, focal temporal lobe seizures, head tremor and vestibular dysfunction, etc. (all related to undiagnosed epileptic activity). The depressive episodes occurred on intervals of approximately 8 years each, and featured severe insomnia, anxiety, and weight loss greater than 15% of body mass. What confused the issue was that my first epileptic seizure took place during my first attempt at cannabis intoxication. I served 3 years in the military. (honorable). I set production records as a larrycar operator at a blast furnace for several years. I troubleshot and repaired office automation equipment and computer systems for 5 years. I was an electronics technician for 23 years working on sophisticated mail processing equipment. I did quite a bit of all that in an altered state of consciousness. I had 5 bypasses about 20 years ago, and I attribute the need for them to the constant stress, fear, and anxiety living with a serious and undiagnosed illness for 40 years.

I know the reason I ask is I feel like I'm incapable of concentrating to the point of people thinking I'm special which is probably the worst part of the disorder besides the anxiety for me. I mean not being able to get a good job that takes concentration is kind of a perpetual cycle, people being broke makes even healthy people anxious and on and on. I definitely hear you about your stress causing a heart attack. I really feel though even Albert Einstein would be reduced to a ticket puncher if he had severe DP/DR. Sorry to hear about your story though and thanks for sharing, it seems very difficult and that you've overcome in a powerful way indeed.

 

[Grindelwald]

I am currently a construction inspector. I make under $20/h and I live with my parents. I'm 25. My days of DP are behind me, fortunately, but the fact is you just have to get through it. I found work distracted me from DP pretty well. My disclaimer is that I still have existential thoughts; thoughts I did not have before DP. So perhaps I'm not fully recovered. But I'm pretty darn close if I'm not.

 

[bro12345]

I am a mathematician. I do research and lecture at a large university. I am also a devout trader, I spend a lot of time trading stock, various derivatives and forex as well. I am 27.

My first episode of dp/dr was the catalyst that eventually lead to my career as a mathematician. I did mathematics nearly 24/7 back then because it was very, very good at distracting me from my mental state. I wasn't particularly good at it at first, but the amount of mental energy that it required pretty much prevented me from freaking out all the time.

I will admit that it is not easy to do mathematics at the level I am at now with this condition, though. My dp/dr is mostly tied to anxiety, and these two conditions together make it very hard to focus.