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the only advice i could give for the suicidality is, you dont know these follow things:

1. you dont know how your life will develop and where you will be in 10 years. i think, with your current mindset, it will stay like now. so you know, where to do the work. do not think through the dp-window. its possible to have a life with dp. but it requires a lot of self work, i think. and let alone the possibility of going better of symptoms and recovery. there are a fuckton of spontaneous recovery stories after decades.

2. you dont know that thing, that will finally help you. you cant really try everything. most people who says here „i tried everything" lies the fuck. you cannot try everything, there is too much shit. and at least one of them will work for you. so you have to seek. it could be medication, supplements, a kind of therapy or maybe tms. and i just say it again. there are too much things to try. you couldnt try in a single life everything. because with the most things you have to persist for a good time lets say at least 3 months. your life would go over until you could complete „everything".

3. you dont know, if your life will ends soon without you need doing it yourself. you could become seriously ill, maybe a hard cancer or something. and then, if you are really tired of dp, you can look forward for your death. it could be also a kind of accident.

4. you dont know, if there will be developed a serious treatment for dp. maybe in 30 years. but in my case, i would be 57 years old after 30 years. and fuck that man. i could live a bad granny life. sitting on a blackjack table with a bottle of whiskey. another thing is, you have to work for a good position of life, when the treatment would be developed. no dp doesnt mean great life. i did it once to overcame my dp fully. but my life was still not the greatest. and some of those factors brought me to a severe relapse.
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