[livinginhell333]

how can you feel like your self is not here and gone? your personality gone? your feelings gone? how can one by out of their body and weightless?how can someone think that nothing is real, that there is no external world. that nothing seems good or looks good or feels good? i don't understand how this all could happen to me like this. i feel like my whole life is gone, and if i try to work or go to school i just feel more out of place and all that. this whole dp/dr dissociation is killing me. i don't want to live like this the rest of my life. its taking away my passion for things, my energy, excitement for life, motivation, integrity, everything else that used to make up who i was.

who i am is someone that i could have never imagined to be. all my dreams are shattered. its hard for me to make it through a day. everyone else is fine and doing things, making money, having relationships, having fun, sometimes ignoring the true essense of life, when we are all trying to figure out what the hell life is about and why we can't get to the status that everyone else is at. i wanted to do so much with my life and now i can't. i pray everyday. i don't know what else to do sometimes. sometimes i think god doesn't love me.

 

[livinginhell333]

i don't know what its like to feel alive anymore. sometimes i get scared and cry. man what is it like i forgot. i still don't recognize myself, my own voice, all my senses are dulled out. i don't get it. i mean how can this really happen. i wish there was a time machine were we can all go back and time and fix this s*it that way we would all be fine.

 

[kchendrix]

I don't know the answers,, I feel the same way.. like life has passed me by and I don't feel, look, sound , think the same way I used to.. Like something damaged my brain to make me feel this way.. But when they do tests there is nothing wrong with me.

I can't tolerate the meds, I still work, I still try to do things, but nothing feels the same, It is like I almost count down my day to put another one behind me instead of savoring every moment like so many people do.

It would be different if we didn't know what we are missing, but we are missing what we used to think feel and live like. Am I that F#$%ed up of a person that Want to hide in this crap> I don't think so .. What do I have to fear what could possibly be keeping me locked in this crap.

I have been focusing outward for so long and still Things look crazy. I hope we are not doomed to feel like this the rest of our lifes because it just isn't right.

Hold your head up and keep tellng yourself that this is temporary... I understand that the mind is an enormous resource and even people with physical brain damage can retrain like other parts of the brain to take over. So maybe there is away we can return to normal through similiar activity, but believing and not giving in to this crap. If I could go back to change what ever caused this I would in a heart beat..

hang in there , don't quit or it wins... I have to believe, if we were once totally in touch we should be able to be again.

There are people who are told they will never walk again, but some how they find away to do it, they overcome the odds, so why can't we ,, there is no reason..... And God Love you , he never stops, he feels each pain you feel . I don't know why this happened to you or to me,, but we probably wouldn't even have met one another if this didn't happen.

Find something positive in each moment. Some how.

KC

 

[livinginhell333]

thanks man yea i try to focus outward, but sometimes its hard. i focus outward and wonder why i still feel the same. i don't ponder on it as much, but i still feel the same way. i still can't look in the mirror. if there is a mirror around i like turn my head.