It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of paranoia, I think I understand what you're saying/feeling. In fact I might enter a paranoid episode after reading your post.. anyways.
You mentioned the phrase "reality testing remains intact", to my understanding that means that a person knows that they are experiencing something wrong/ "off" and are confused and scared. I think that your reality testing remains intact, you reached out and made a legible post on here to look for answers, I can also tell that you're feeling confused. If your reality testing were not intact you'd turn into something similar to a crackhead dancing around in the streets naked, or worse. That being said, you are ill and I think deep down you know it as well.
I don't think this is psychosis, very often do the victims of depersonalization/ derealization disorder experience paranoia where they believe everything is fake. I think you do believe in the real world, you're just confused.. and ill. According to your post, you believe people with mental illness cannot "function in the real world". You said that you've been able to "function in the real world" and that is why you are not ill. It doesn't seem that you can function very well based on your post and how you feel no one is real. Functioning is not just on the outside/physical its emotional, you seem very confused and scared. If you think you're not ill because you don't "have it bad enough" I can assure you that you are are ill and have it rough. Heck, people with psychosis function better than people with depersonalization because their extreme disconnect with reality is visible and gets treated with specific drugs.
You said "before all this" and used past tense a couple of times in your post, does that mean before covid or did something else happen? A build up of stress as well as isolation could have something to do with you being hyper-vigilant/ obsessive of numbers, others around you, and depersonalization derealization symptoms. These trying times have left a lot of us with too much time to think, and too much stress to think "rationally".
All I can really say is to try talking to a therapist just to get things out through talking, they could provide some insight as well and explain mental illness in a way that'll make sense to you and your experiences.
You mentioned the phrase "reality testing remains intact", to my understanding that means that a person knows that they are experiencing something wrong/ "off" and are confused and scared. I think that your reality testing remains intact, you reached out and made a legible post on here to look for answers, I can also tell that you're feeling confused. If your reality testing were not intact you'd turn into something similar to a crackhead dancing around in the streets naked, or worse. That being said, you are ill and I think deep down you know it as well.
I don't think this is psychosis, very often do the victims of depersonalization/ derealization disorder experience paranoia where they believe everything is fake. I think you do believe in the real world, you're just confused.. and ill. According to your post, you believe people with mental illness cannot "function in the real world". You said that you've been able to "function in the real world" and that is why you are not ill. It doesn't seem that you can function very well based on your post and how you feel no one is real. Functioning is not just on the outside/physical its emotional, you seem very confused and scared. If you think you're not ill because you don't "have it bad enough" I can assure you that you are are ill and have it rough. Heck, people with psychosis function better than people with depersonalization because their extreme disconnect with reality is visible and gets treated with specific drugs.
You said "before all this" and used past tense a couple of times in your post, does that mean before covid or did something else happen? A build up of stress as well as isolation could have something to do with you being hyper-vigilant/ obsessive of numbers, others around you, and depersonalization derealization symptoms. These trying times have left a lot of us with too much time to think, and too much stress to think "rationally".
All I can really say is to try talking to a therapist just to get things out through talking, they could provide some insight as well and explain mental illness in a way that'll make sense to you and your experiences.
