[shadowness]

i have been thinking this morning (very dangerous i know lol) but i just realized that i feel like my concious mind is suppressed by my subconcious....

i know this is no doubt just me analysing more but how can i stop the analysing? even when i am not alaysing myself i am dp'ed and dr'ed...

i feel like my concious mind can do nothing but observe whilst my subconcious just carries on doing what needs doing...and i am getting paniced that i am really losing control...

or maybe that is just the feeling it gives...

as i do things and communicate i feel like my subconcious or whatever has taken control...gone into auto pilot...i feel like i have no idea what i am going to do next! and that REALLY scares me!

recently my balance has been awful and i feel so sick...

can the subconcious mind over power the concious mind?

it certainly feels like it...

any comments would be very greatful

thank you...

 

[Guest]

Yep, you MUST be stopped, lol....you are taking self-monitoring to a new level of artform.

STOP.

Just trust me and stop.

You are such a smart person and very attuned to things, but you need to turn that attunement OUTward, or you will keep digging yourself in deeper and creating more massive anxiety.

You will NOT drive yourself insane, but you sure as heck will drive yourself in more terror.

The honest truth is that our unconscious DOES control much much more than most people would imagine, and we cannot "switch" it around, lol...that's how we're made!

However, all the unconscious mind can control is certain motivations, agendas, feelings, etc...it cannot "make" you DO anything you do not choose to do.

You are utterly petrified of losing control of yourself. My hunch is that you have many angry thoughts and feelings that scare you, and although your persona is very cheery and positive, your fears and repeated obsessions tell another tale.

You'd do well to try to make friends with some of your angrier thoughts and feelings and learn to TRUST that you will NOT act on them unless you want to. But I suspect you like to pretend you don't even HAVE them, and that is probably a big part of where your symptoms come from.

Peace,
and stop watching your brain! grin
J

 

[shadowness]

yeah thank you for your reply...

although i do not have angry thoughts that scare me....just scary thoughts...

i just have no idea how to stop my self monitoring...

at the moment i feel like i am pretending that i have not got dp and dr and i think that makes matters worse...

i have tried so many things...

i hope it comes to me...

thank you again janine

 

[person3]

Good point Janine...I started doing that recently, a bit. Just dabbling in it. Got freaked out watching one of those Freddy Kruger movies with my boyfriend...ok so it's all silly but that pizza scene where they're stuck inside those sausages freaked me out..i'd imagine a family member there about to get poked with a knife or eaten or splattered from said knife-poke..but I felt worse pretending like i'd NOT seen it.

Better example...there was a cover of rolling stone magazine w/ Eminem on the cover, dressed up as the dude from A Clockwork Orange. He had this knife that he used the tip of to hold down his eyelid. A year or so ago, my ex said that must have been a scary picture to take, and that freaked me out once he said it.

So last night, I was in the kitchen and was holding a sharp knife for cutting steak. I went into the bathroom and put the knife near my eyelid and pulled the skin down with the side of it...NOT CUTTING, but holding the knife close to my face and knowing nothing would happen. Now I kind of think "eh, Eminem's just a puss for doing that"...

 

[person3]

Let me add that I think finding some "switch" or trying to control the roles is another form of control/magical thinking...

we know not what we do, sometimes. and the reactions of the people around us might not be favorable. but we're not high school kids with a past of elementary school teasing anymore...whoever teased us on the playground in fifth grade that made us try to act super-contained and watch ourselves, is not there anymore and probably is ugly with three ugly crack babies...so yeah...be a kid sometimes!

 

[Guest]

Shadowness wrote:

but i just realized that i feel like my concious mind is suppressed by my subconcious....

I think you just hit the nail on the head.

Except I would say that your conscious mind was always supressing the subconscious, and now this suppression doesn't work anymore, so the subconscious breaks through. That is resulting in the subconscious to be predominant.

 

[Guest]

But basically youre saying the same.

 

[person3]

Maybe it isn't your conscious FAILING...it's the control methods failing..the methods you used to forever stay consciously in control when in reality that kind of control doesn't exist...and those methods finally failed, and you think there is something WRONG with you because these methods failed..but the methods were never real anyway...that kind of control was never real...it was the illusion..and now you're wiping reality out because you still think the illusion is the truth and the current world around you isn't.