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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you've seen any of my other posts, you'll know that I've been struggling with a very blank mind and some cognitive issues related to DP (I think lol). Recently, it just feels as though its getting worse and worse. I read my last post from a few weeks back and I'm feeling all of the same things, but deeper. It feels like I'm loosing the ability to think completely, not just a "blank mind" but an absolute absence of all thought. Everywhere I go, it genuinely feels like I'm not there at all. I can still somewhat function but it all feels very disorganized as if I can't get a hold of one train of thought and I'm just bouncing from one thing to another in my head, and in my day to day life. I try to re-assure myself with this forum but everyone else I see with a "blank mind" seems to be able to type these well thought out descriptions of how they feel, but I'm struggling even writing this post as I type it. I just feel so far away from experiencing "classic DP" and of course I'm constantly thinking its schizophrenia or some other horrible disorder. I try to remind myself its just anxiety/DP/depression but I can't get it through my head that its not more severe. It's to the point where making any type of decision feels impossible, whether its something major like trying a new med/ going to therapy, or something minuscule like what to eat. I've been on lexapro for about 3 weeks and this past week I've been trying to exercise for 30mins per day but nothing seems to make it better at all. If anyone relates whatsoever please let me know.

I'll make a list of other symptoms I have because why not
  • feeling physically light (like a piece of paper)
  • disconnected from my surroundings
  • trouble reading/spelling
  • talking is almost impossible, I can never find words to say (this one bothers me the most)
  • uncoordinated when walking/moving my arms
  • lack of emotion
  • monotone voice
  • inability to feel my body
  • visual snow/floaters/tracers
 

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I try to re-assure myself with this forum but everyone else I see with a "blank mind" seems to be able to type these well thought out descriptions of how they feel, but I'm struggling even writing this post as I type it.
You sound exactly like everyone here. Coming from someone who is actually diagnosed with Schizophrenia... you shouldn't worry about it. I've learned to embrace the blank mind actually, and I've just been winging the last 19 years. To be honest the real problem with any mental disorder is the inability to connect with others. I don't give a fuck about any symptom when it comes down to it... the thing that really eats at my soul is that I'm never sure whether or not someone likes me or is pretending cause it's the nice thing to do in our society, e.g. coworkers. I'm not dangerous I'm just heartbroken and no self respecting female is going to give me a chance because I'm 35, live at home, no car and can't seem to get a job that pays enough to afford an one bedroom basement apartment and god damn I swear to god I am trying my best and it's just not good enough to live a normal life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
You sound exactly like everyone here. Coming from someone who is actually diagnosed with Schizophrenia... you shouldn't worry about it. I've learned to embrace the blank mind actually, and I've just been winging the last 19 years. To be honest the real problem with any mental disorder is the inability to connect with others. I don't give a fuck about any symptom when it comes down to it... the thing that really eats at my soul is that I'm never sure whether or not someone likes me or is pretending cause it's the nice thing to do in our society, e.g. coworkers. I'm not dangerous I'm just heartbroken and no self respecting female is going to give me a chance because I'm 35, live at home, no car and can't seem to get a job that pays enough to afford an one bedroom basement apartment and god damn I swear to god I am trying my best and it's just not good enough to live a normal life.

Thank you man, I appreciate the advice. I guess all we both have left to do is keep going..
 

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If you've seen any of my other posts, you'll know that I've been struggling with a very blank mind and some cognitive issues related to DP (I think lol). Recently, it just feels as though its getting worse and worse. I read my last post from a few weeks back and I'm feeling all of the same things, but deeper. It feels like I'm loosing the ability to think completely, not just a "blank mind" but an absolute absence of all thought. Everywhere I go, it genuinely feels like I'm not there at all. I can still somewhat function but it all feels very disorganized as if I can't get a hold of one train of thought and I'm just bouncing from one thing to another in my head, and in my day to day life. I try to re-assure myself with this forum but everyone else I see with a "blank mind" seems to be able to type these well thought out descriptions of how they feel, but I'm struggling even writing this post as I type it. I just feel so far away from experiencing "classic DP" and of course I'm constantly thinking its schizophrenia or some other horrible disorder. I try to remind myself its just anxiety/DP/depression but I can't get it through my head that its not more severe. It's to the point where making any type of decision feels impossible, whether its something major like trying a new med/ going to therapy, or something minuscule like what to eat. I've been on lexapro for about 3 weeks and this past week I've been trying to exercise for 30mins per day but nothing seems to make it better at all. If anyone relates whatsoever please let me know.

I'll make a list of other symptoms I have because why not
  • feeling physically light (like a piece of paper)
  • disconnected from my surroundings
  • trouble reading/spelling
  • talking is almost impossible, I can never find words to say (this one bothers me the most)
  • uncoordinated when walking/moving my arms
  • lack of emotion
  • monotone voice
  • inability to feel my body
  • visual snow/floaters/tracers
This is exactly why school especially became so difficult for me once I developed DR. I feel like I just cannot formulate an articulate sentence when it comes to public speaking or schoolwork the way I used to lol. I hear myself speak and I’m like what the actual hell am I saying? I mean, I black out so bad when I’m nervous so speaking in front of crowds (classrooms, work meetings) are rough. Feeling like you’re nowhere when you’re somewhere is hard of course. As I’m typing this I have to look up from my phone every minute or so to ground myself because I completely forgot where I was🥹 you’re very much going through everything most of us are dealing with though. If there’s any comfort in knowing we’re all struggling with the same things.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
This is exactly why school especially became so difficult for me once I developed DR. I feel like I just cannot formulate an articulate sentence when it comes to public speaking or schoolwork the way I used to lol. I hear myself speak and I’m like what the actual hell am I saying? I mean, I black out so bad when I’m nervous so speaking in front of crowds (classrooms, work meetings) are rough. Feeling like you’re nowhere when you’re somewhere is hard of course. As I’m typing this I have to look up from my phone every minute or so to ground myself because I completely forgot where I was🥹 you’re very much going through everything most of us are dealing with though. If there’s any comfort in knowing we’re all struggling with the same things.
Wow yeah I hate that feeling of just being lost and needing to reconnect somehow
 

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Registered
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If you've seen any of my other posts, you'll know that I've been struggling with a very blank mind and some cognitive issues related to DP (I think lol). Recently, it just feels as though its getting worse and worse. I read my last post from a few weeks back and I'm feeling all of the same things, but deeper. It feels like I'm loosing the ability to think completely, not just a "blank mind" but an absolute absence of all thought. Everywhere I go, it genuinely feels like I'm not there at all. I can still somewhat function but it all feels very disorganized as if I can't get a hold of one train of thought and I'm just bouncing from one thing to another in my head, and in my day to day life. I try to re-assure myself with this forum but everyone else I see with a "blank mind" seems to be able to type these well thought out descriptions of how they feel, but I'm struggling even writing this post as I type it. I just feel so far away from experiencing "classic DP" and of course I'm constantly thinking its schizophrenia or some other horrible disorder. I try to remind myself its just anxiety/DP/depression but I can't get it through my head that its not more severe. It's to the point where making any type of decision feels impossible, whether its something major like trying a new med/ going to therapy, or something minuscule like what to eat. I've been on lexapro for about 3 weeks and this past week I've been trying to exercise for 30mins per day but nothing seems to make it better at all. If anyone relates whatsoever please let me know.

I'll make a list of other symptoms I have because why not
  • feeling physically light (like a piece of paper)
  • disconnected from my surroundings
  • trouble reading/spelling
  • talking is almost impossible, I can never find words to say (this one bothers me the most)
  • uncoordinated when walking/moving my arms
  • lack of emotion
  • monotone voice
  • inability to feel my body
  • visual snow/floaters/tracers
believe me brother. it is a hard bloody way. it is no fun. but i got better. and most of the cause from the symptoms you mentioned is obsessional anxiety. it is like as if you obsessively become anxious. keep going man. dont know even if its just a walk in the park or minimum pleasure from food or something.
 
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