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1671 Views 16 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Phantasm
I just wanted to say hi.

I'm new here, posting on forums is new to me but tonight I feel alone and found this site.

I feel like things are not real a lot. I also feel everything.. sounds can be too loud, lights too bright things like that. I don't think people that are around me would understand.. I don't understand myself. so I'm glad to of found this place.

My life has changed drastically recently but I had the same feelings before and now they are worse.
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Hi, welcome to the site. Feeling that no-one understands what you are going through can be very hard, but you're not alone. People here will relate to what you're experiencing. Stress and life events that are hard to cope with can cause us to feel a sense of disconnection. It's meant to shield us, but can be alarming in itself. Anxiety can cause all manner of weird and wonderful symptoms, but it's good to remind yourself that's all it is. Being supportive in your self-talk, looking after yourself, and trying to accept your feelings about the things in your life that are troubling you can all help. There are lots of things you can do to manage your stress and work through underlying issues that may be causing these sensations. Finding supportive people you can talk to makes a big difference.
I'm sorry what you've been through. Abusive relationships are often at the heart of dissociation, particularly with family. They affect how we feel about ourselves, our sense of self and safety in the world. I can relate to what you were saying about visiting the grocery store. Losing your house and having to move away from the forest must have been very hard. It was really kind of people to help out - sometimes it's reassuring to find out there are still good people in the world - and it's good your family member has started going out. Things can get better. I hope the books help as they helped me. I found they can work together like a program, with one covering what the other doesn't :)
Yep, accelerated heart rate can be caused by anxiety and you have been under a lot of strain, but it's good you got that checked out to be safe. It's funny how we can feel numb to things while our bodies are in a heightened state. It's not unusual to lose a sense of coherence or time passing, as well as feeling strange and disconnected from people around you.

I think a lot of people never speak about abuse because they can feel that they must have somehow been responsible. Healing maybe about learning that it's not your fault and that you did nothing to deserve it. I know it's a brave step, but speaking confidentially to someone about it might help. Medication can make a difference for a lot of people. It's a personal choice and something you should discuss with your doctor. I don't currently take any medication but antidepressants have helped me in the past.

Aw thanks :) Things are going okay for me in recovery terms. I'm feeling a lot clearer and more connected than I have in a long time.
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I think one of the awful things about abuse is that the person can be left feeling that it must be their fault and that it must be because they are a bad person, but that's not so. It was only because the person doing it was in a stronger position and took advantage of that, and not because you did anything wrong. It's only that you were vulnerable, so weren't to blame.

It is hard talking to doctors, but it is confidential. Something that can help is to write out what you want to say to them before you go, so you can just hand it to them if you are finding it hard to communicate. I think some counselling could really help. I used to chat with a lady who worked at a center for women who had suffered abuse, maybe there is something like that where you are? Or a support group maybe. It also sounds like the fire affected you more than you can feel or process right now. Nightmares are not uncommon for people struggling with things that have happened to them.
Family and social ties can make a situation difficult to talk about, so speaking to someone outside of your regular circle might be easier, especially if they understand what you've been through. It is all private and confidential.

I expect the lady you spoke to the first time was urging you to press charges because she was worried about your immediate safety, but the center should be able to offer you some guidance and support, and your doctor should be able to do the same. Counselling can be hard, but if it's with someone you feel comfortable talking to it can really help. I think nightmares are the mind's way of trying to work things out, as you've said they are more like memories. They can be horrible but I find it's best not to dwell on them, distract yourself for a while and then try to go back to sleep. Dreams are troubled when we feel troubled and when we feel better they settle down.
It's about having someone to talk to as a sounding board to help you make sense of things. You don't have to do or say anything you don't want to and can leave at any time :)
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They do say that all therapy is really self-therapy. Remember it's okay to ask your doctor what your options are. You don't have to commit to anything. If you look at the tabs near the top of the page, there's a blog section here where you can write about things if you'd like to :)
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