Joined
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2 Posts
Hello guys! I've been watching over these forums for a while now maybe almost a year but never really thought about making an account myself.
I have had DP for the last year or so as a serious side affect that I had from smoking marijuana. I smoked twice, both times I had the worst experience of my life till this day! I was in a crazy state where the entire world started spinning, I was vomiting and my body was having what was like a fit or a seizure and there was stuff coming out my mouth and while that was happening STRANGELY I was there in my mind through it all. The craziest part is that during that state whenever I closed my eyes I couldn't open it again, and I would be gone for a while, felt like I died. I woke up in hospital on both occasions, and ever since I've had serious DP. I am literally not here anymore.
The reason I had never thought about joining this website is because I always dismissed it and told myself that I don't really have DP it's just that I am acting crazy. I dismiss my DP every day but now it has seriously caught up to me. The smoking incidents happened at 1AM night time about a year ago. Every time that I am outside at night the DP becomes a lot worse, completely goes berserk, I am so disconnected it's crazy. I don't know what I am seeing, my brain doesn't think properly and it's like I'm almost "high" on nothing. I have never been depressed and I am not depressed but I have been thinking about how my life will go in the future should this continue, I may become depressed and suicidal. I don't know how to fix this, I NEED HELP, to put simply. My emotions have definitely become a lot duller, I don't cry, I don't get angry, I don't feel anything anymore. I keep telling myself that I have fooled myself but it's not true.
I am afraid of what I will become... please if you can share anything, share it!
I have had DP for the last year or so as a serious side affect that I had from smoking marijuana. I smoked twice, both times I had the worst experience of my life till this day! I was in a crazy state where the entire world started spinning, I was vomiting and my body was having what was like a fit or a seizure and there was stuff coming out my mouth and while that was happening STRANGELY I was there in my mind through it all. The craziest part is that during that state whenever I closed my eyes I couldn't open it again, and I would be gone for a while, felt like I died. I woke up in hospital on both occasions, and ever since I've had serious DP. I am literally not here anymore.
The reason I had never thought about joining this website is because I always dismissed it and told myself that I don't really have DP it's just that I am acting crazy. I dismiss my DP every day but now it has seriously caught up to me. The smoking incidents happened at 1AM night time about a year ago. Every time that I am outside at night the DP becomes a lot worse, completely goes berserk, I am so disconnected it's crazy. I don't know what I am seeing, my brain doesn't think properly and it's like I'm almost "high" on nothing. I have never been depressed and I am not depressed but I have been thinking about how my life will go in the future should this continue, I may become depressed and suicidal. I don't know how to fix this, I NEED HELP, to put simply. My emotions have definitely become a lot duller, I don't cry, I don't get angry, I don't feel anything anymore. I keep telling myself that I have fooled myself but it's not true.
I am afraid of what I will become... please if you can share anything, share it!