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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited by Moderator)
My name is Steven. I'm a twenty year old male from the USA.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. However, things got much worse after I decided to eat an edible at a party on Halloween (Oct 31st). Where my anxiety quickly kicked in, and I had a severe panic attack. I walked myself to the emergency room, and when I arrived, my resting heart rate was 192 BPM. It felt as though a horse were stomping on my chest. I thought that I was having a heart attack. In that moment I thought that I was going to die. It became too much for me to handle, and that is when it happened, I disassociated with DPDR. I felt myself leave my body. In that moment it was a self defense mechanism. The hospital kept me through the night, and dosed me twice with Ativan. However, in the morning, the feeling (dpdr) did not fade. The experience left me with horrible anxiety, and I was at that point still experiencing nightly panic attacks. For that reason I decided to go home for a little while. Where things did slightly improve. And after almost a month, I felt that I was coming down. The dp was fading, however, I still had intense dr. Weirdly though, it was only when I left the house. I felt relatively normal in the comfort of my home. Thinking that it was anxiety related, I decided to try an antidepressant (ssri). However, it gave me inconceivable anxiety; I could not leave my bed. Knowing that the side effects usually fade as you adjust, I tried to stick with it. Although after two weeks, I decided that I had had enough. This experience made everything worse, it was back, full force, and much worse this time. It has been almost two months since then, and it has not gotten better. It feels as though there is a faulty switch, that it keeping up this self defense mechanism. I am running out of hope. The events of the past few months have triggered a depressive episode, and I find myself regularly idealizing suicide. It is beginning to feel inevitable. With the way things are now, I feel as though I am too far gone. I would give the world to undo that decision. The regret constantly eats away at to me. I am loosing my friends, as I am a shell of my former self. Anyways, that is my story up until this point. I would greatly appreciate any tips/suggestions. As at present I am feeling rather lost.
 

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Well. you have not had any good experiences with medication. You are very high in anxiety and panic attacks and it is very recent your state have developed. So, there is likely some flexibility to your state. If I was in your situation I would try a more psychological approach for specifically your anxiety. Many have had good experiences with this site and the two self-help books related to it.

https://anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation/
 

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I would get an EEG to see if your panic attack had epileptic origins. I had a similar experience with cannabis, but my "panic attack" was actually a temporal lobe seizure.

According to a neurological journal, I was a worst case scenario as my "post ictal psychosis segued into an affective disorder of recurrent major depression." I also experienced horrible anxiety,

insomnia, loss of emotions and feelings of hopelessness. Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited by Moderator)
Well. you have not had any good experiences with medication. You are very high in anxiety and panic attacks and it is very recent your state have developed. So, there is likely some flexibility to your state. If I was in your situation I would try a more psychological approach for specifically your anxiety. Many have had good experiences with this site and the two self-help books related to it.

https://anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation/
First off, thank you for being such a valuable part of this community. I have enjoyed reading through your many well researched threads.

My brother is diagnosed with OCD. And while throughout my life I have had minor compulsions, they never were enough to warrant a diagnoses, as they did not bring about significant distress. An example of one of my compulsions, one that I still have, is where the capital letters are in a sentence. I need them to be at the start or at the end. (I give this example to show how my compulsions are very in line with OCD.) I do now feel as if I am obsessing over DPDR. I had never experienced it prior, and therefore could not obsess over it. With this in mind, do you think that a different pharmaceutical (ocd based) approach could be beneficial? Additionally, the only times in which I experience slight relief, is in the rare moment where I am able to stop my obsessive thoughts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I would get an EEG to see if your panic attack had epileptic origins. I had a similar experience with cannabis, but my "panic attack" was actually a temporal lobe seizure.

According to a neurological journal, I was a worst case scenario as my "post ictal psychosis segued into an affective disorder of recurrent major depression." I also experienced horrible anxiety,

insomnia, loss of emotions and feelings of hopelessness. Good luck!
I had read a little bit about your story previously, and did consider it to be a possibility. As while I have never had a seizure, my brother used to have seizures when we were quite young. I do not remember much, as he outgrew them. However, epilepsy is probably the most probable seizure disorder. I do also experience similar symptoms. Did your panic attack reflect an actual panic attack? Additionally, how long did it last? As I know that seizures are normally quite short. Thank you for taking the time to respond!
 

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Thanks. In general you can say that these "medium psychiatric states" that you do not find in, hospitals like psychotic states or severe depression, are for the most highly responsive to both medication and CBT or acceptance based therapies. But, the best outcome is the combination of both. Some states there are not medication that works well like panic attacks so it is more a psychological approach like the link I gave you.States like general anxiety is both responsive to both anti-depressant medication and psychological approaches. In OCD 40% might benefits form pure medication like high doses of SSRI or another 40% will respond to psychological approaches but if you due both it might be 70-80% response rate. But, depersonalization/derealization is both a disorder and a symptom related to high stress or depression. It is likely in your case due to stress. If your have had anxiety on a SSRI I might try to wait with again and try the more psychological angle to the problem and later try another SSRI. I don't think you have depersonalization disorder in its primary from from what you have written.
 

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A focal temporal lobe seizure may last from half a minute to two minutes. My first seizure was an abdominal aura aka epigastric aura which

begins in the stomach at the base of the vagus nerve. It rises up into the chest with a psychological sensation of "impending doom."

I would guess my heart rate went from 60 to over 200 bpm in a few short seconds. When the aura reaches the brain, the temporal lobe seizure

begins. In 40 years of experiencing epileptic events, I never lost consciousness. I did experience quite a bit of intense fear and panic.

One might think it would be easy to self diagnose an epileptic disorder, but that was not the case with me. My doctors nor I had any idea what was going on

for 4 decades, which is why I recommend the EEG to young people who are experiencing symptoms which might indicate epileptic activity.

EEGs are painless, so what is there to lose?
 
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