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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just moved to college as a freshman and lately people are always giving wierd looks, and since i dont know them very well yet as ive only been here for about a week, im afraid ill never be able to get a good relationship with anyone cause they know im wierd.

Its been this way with everyone i meet and talk to for almost a year. Im pretty sure my DP started after a VERY bad mushroom trip last december. I dont remember a whole lot of it almost a year later, but i was VERY very humiliated during the experience. I was on a completely different wavelength than everyone else, and everything people said i couldnt pay attention to and would get very confused, and it got to the point it was happneing os much it was very shameful that i couldnt stay focused.

Anyway, im going to start getting counceling and after 9 months of extreme anxiety, dwindling relationships with friends, and just constant thoughts of me going crazy even tho i know deep down im pretty sane, and lots and lots of research on psychological disorders i finally came to the realization that i have DP.

Once i read about dissociative states it clicked in my mind thats what i got, ive always had this sort of "twitch" that i feel inside my head... it happens kinda when i am 100% positive of something, and this was one of those things.

I constantly see myself from other peoples perspectives, and i know this is dumb, but i took mushrooms again this past summer (was actually a fun trip as i took it by myself, never will i take them with people again, but i dont think it did anything for the DP, good or bad) and i remember a mental image of my ENTIRE body with swirling colorful lines flowing all around it, as if each line was one of my thoughts.

Whenever i get anxious i start to "get out of it" as i say to people when they see me acting wierd. I have a wierd way of showing my anxiety, and unlike normal people that would like shake their leg and things like that subconsciously, the feeling of anxiety just builds within me while i stay completely still like a deer in headlights. The more i realize when im in a DP state, the worse it gets because it gives me the freezing anxiety. :roll:

Ive never really asked anyone what they see me acting like, as i cant muster up the courage to, but i assume it looks like me acting very "spacey" and with some wierd reactions like im ahead of their thought process or way behind it... I dont know how to explain it but maybe im not alone here?

I guess im rambling on a lot now and i know i need to get some Psych help, but im wondering if anyone can give me any tips or anything for dealing with what i would concider a severe case of it around a campus of 40,000 people...

I guess i just need some reassurance or someone to talk to as i feel i had a big breakthrough last night while in bed. I realized i have trouble thinking MY thoughts and that i usually react the same way as other people cause i seemyself through them a lot
I know things are a lot better now then they used to be, one because i read that you dont remember things about what happend while in a DP state, and i dont remember a lot of the first few months of this year, (was around the 20th of december i had the bad trip) All i remember is constant anxiety and constant monitoring of myself and thoughts.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, sorry for the long post too
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