[Guest]

I am suffering emotionally tonight. My support group for depression doesn't think I am welcome to bring up dp/ dr issues and talk about the nature of reality even though this is my struggle and I've had related depression before. And my boyfriend (if we don't break up) told me he'd call me later, earlier today but instead he has just blown me off and I guess he'ds with his friends. I took an ambien to calm down, I was so agitated and enraged and restless. I feel rejected and abandoned sort of. What do you all think? Maybe I'll go pass out. I need to be sedated right now. I was getting a little out of control.

Fine if the group that I rely on for support has members who want to stop me from sharing my topic, maybe I will be more welcome here with it. I hope so.

I have OCD social anxiety, and dp/dr symptoms. I also get feeling rejected/abandoned easily, maybe I have Atypical depression. Does anyone remember me? I am Nikki . :?: Please someone help me :roll:

 

[bat]

hi nikki i remember you.
sorry to hear you're having a hard time right now.
i suppose in your support group people just might be uncomfortable with dp talk because it is frightening. also an understandable lack of understanding and so empathy isn't going to help.
as for the bf don't sit around waiting for him to call go and do something for yourself instead. i just got a dog

 

[Guest]

Thanks for responding to my email, it means a lot to have people care what I've got to say. I am calmed down from last night now, I was a wreck and out of control. I am in my more normal state now (which is not "normal" on society's terms, but I digress...). My boyfriend called me later, but I get so agitated when I'm waiting, in the meantime, if he had planned to do it and then flakes out. The thing is, he doesn't TRULY flake out. He is very considerate. But I panic and act out in the meantime in a way that is out of all proportion to the situation As if he has abandoned me and betrayed me when usually he is just late or something. It's weird but I have had boyfriends in the past who just disappeared on me for a day or two...maybe it's related to associations in my mind from these times...

I like your quote a lot, it seems to relate very well to my struggle. Maybe my main issues are really more primarily OCD and dp and dr related than they are mood disorder- related, and I should truly just keep my issues with reality to THESE groups, and not take the negative reactions from certain people in my Friday night mood disorders support group so personally.

Ok talk to you soon Nikki

 

[Guest]

And my boyfriend (if we don't break up) told me he'd call me later, earlier today but instead he has just blown me off and I guess he'ds with his friends. I took an ambien to calm down, I was so agitated and enraged and restless.

I get very, very anxious with this sort of issue (With my girlfreind obviously.

We didn't see each other yesterday as she had family matters (We normally meet up on a Saturday), so I kind of thought we would meet up today - but she said that ages ago she thought she might be meeting up with an old friend so we could on Monday.

I'd always put her before a chance of meeting up with a friend - I'd rather do that on the Monday. There's other bits but this is all I can be bothered to type.

However, I appreciate that unfortunately, I think this just me over reacting.

I know I've got to get over this, so I said I'm busy tomorrow - now I feel worse. I'm fucked either way.

I don't want to get stupid and clingy though, and I think this is the only way - the hard way.

Anyway, enough bullshit, I just wanted to say I know how you feel.

 

[Guest]

Hey!! Yeah, it sucks. The agitation makes you feel insane. Hang in there and focus as much as you can on taking care of yourself and on other interests or even maybe repetitive chores. Talk to yourself in a soothing way, like you're a friend calming yourself down, maybe. Remember this may be a big overreaction and your emotions (not HER) are doing this to you, she is probably NOT intentionally hurting or abandoning you. :!: Try to talk to other people on the internet about it.

Nikki

 

[Guest]

Hey!! Yeah, it sucks. The agitation makes you feel insane. Hang in there and focus as much as you can on taking care of yourself and on other interests or even maybe repetitive chores. Talk to yourself in a soothing way, like you're a friend calming yourself down, maybe. Remember this may be a big overreaction and your emotions (not HER) are doing this to you, she is probably NOT intentionally hurting or abandoning you. :!: Try to talk to other people on the internet about it.

Nikki

Thanks Nikki I'm so glad you seem to understand! And you gave me the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, I'm not making all of this up - thankyou.

It does, it really does feel like I'm losing it sometimes!! Getting so wound up over this!

How are you feeling now? Any better?

 

[Guest]

Yeah, better now. But I acted out last night pretty bad and left a few messages on my boyfriend's answering machine and email about how I felt. I felt very angry and compulsive and anxious. But I alienate him when I do that. He tries to be understanding because he has felt some similar things in the past and also he knows I jhave a disorder, but he broke up with me twice before, because I stressed him out and he was overwhelmed and afraid for his own mental health, which he, too, has to protect.... He has depression and anxiety and has to take care of himself too. And I was way too defensive, untrusting, and reactive.

I gotta go offline now but write back and I 'll write to you later today...

Hang in there!!!!!!!!! Nikki

 

[Guest]

Yeah, better now. But I acted out last night pretty bad and left a few messages on my boyfriend's answering machine and email about how I felt. I felt very angry and compulsive and anxious. But I alienate him when I do that. He tries to be understanding because he has felt some similar things in the past and also he knows I jhave a disorder, but he broke up with me twice before, because I stressed him out and he was overwhelmed and afraid for his own mental health, which he, too, has to protect.... He has depression and anxiety and has to take care of himself too. And I was way too defensive, untrusting, and reactive.

I gotta go offline now but write back and I 'll write to you later today...

Hang in there!!!!!!!!! Nikki

It's 20:35 here :lol:

I know exactly what you mean when you say angry compulsive and anxious.

I guess the good thing is, we recognise them for what they are - it's the dealing with them that's the hard part!

At least it sounds like he has some sort of understanding of what position you're in.

You take care too!

 

[Guest]

Yeah, recognizing and dealing with them are often two different things. I guess bringing them both together is the work for us to do.

How are you doing today by the way??

Nikki

 

[Guest]

Yeah, recognizing and dealing with them are often two different things. I guess bringing them both together is the work for us to do.

How are you doing today by the way??

Nikki

Too right - wish I knew a way

I'm alright at the moment but it's been a rough couple of days

How are you doing? Hope you're feeling better!!