Okay well here is my introduction. My name is Cassidy and I am 25 years old. I have never struggled with any previous mental health issues until this passed year. It started in September I started having severe anxiety attacks and felt disconnected from people with anxious/depressive thoughts running through my head at all times. This went on for a couple months and I went from that to a deep depression. I thought everyone was against me and I was overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. I got myself into such a deep Whole I had no idea how to get myself out. Well fast forward a few months, nothing was getting better and I wanted quick relief so I decided to try Wellbutrin for a few days- this SENT MY ANXIETY through the rough so I got off it very quickly and someone recommened ketamine to me. So I did some research, talked to the place a lot, and felt fairly comfortable. They said that it would either work or it wouldn’t but there have been no adverse side effects. So I went with it. And the first night I didn’t really notice anything and then the second night I remember waking up in panic and feeling like I needed to go on a run or something. I brushed it off thinking, great I’m finally out of my depression! Well.... over the next few weeks thing started to feel weird. I started to feel numb and completely disconnected from my body and any positive emotions. And it felt as if my head literally detached from my body. So my body was in this intense fight or flight and my mind couldn’t ease it in any way. People also started to look different, like they were made of clay or somethin. And there was no emotional connection. Things started to look brighter but in a fake way and the only relief I felt was sleeping. If I could sleep. Well then I started googling and came across DPDR and feel that this is probably what Iv been struggling with. So the Dr. put me on Zoloft first.... which was awful. It did help slightly with anxiety and depression but made me feel super detached and not in my body and robotic. So after getting off of that we are now trying Lamictal. Im on day 7 noticed some benefits.... but then some side effects too. It’s helped my vision a little and made the world more clear, but then it has greatly affected my sleep and has made me more emotional- which emotions may be good- but they are all negative emotions so far. Besides sometimes feeling the chills. So Iv done a ton of research and I’m getting anxiety because Iv read Lamictal not helping people very often and it having super gnarly withdrawals from it making DPDR worse. I was expressing this fear to my phycharist and he said that we can try either Celexa or lexpro instead. But suggests that’s I give this a real chance. And whatever I decide he wants me to give 8 weeks: I’m a nervous wreck and don’t know what to do. I have anxiety about making the wrong choice and further stunting my recovery. My current symptoms are anxiety, heaviness in my body (but not nearly as bad as when on the Zoloft), weird vision issues, insomnia, mood swings, no emotional connection to people, not connected to my memories, and feeling like my head and body are completely disconnected